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December 8, 2011

Khloe Kardashian Prompts Us To Give Thanks for the Less Blessed Sister

You did not see this one coming.

Today, we are thankful for the Khloe Kardashian. Not, this is not a fire-lit tribute to keep Kong from trampling our village and ravaging our crops, though now that you mention it, that's not a bad idea. This is gratitude for the ungainly sized sister who reminds us all that for all the attempts of the Kardashian mafia to control their image of 'perfection', nature can not be denied its indiscriminate hammer with which it smashes those who deem themselves flawless in public.

Seen here in a Elle photoshoot for their eponymous and enriching clothing line, the Kardashian Kollection, surely the fashion choice of Beelzebub himself, the three sisters remind us that when the apocalypse arrives, it won't be commenced by the arrival of the Four Horsemen, rather, two starving sisters from Calabasas mounted upon their sisterly steed.

The Frontside of the Three Horsewomen of the Apocalypse

Seen

Happy Birthday, Scarlett Johansson, Quite a Year It’s Been!

Happy 27th Birthday to one of our favorite hotties in all of Hottieville. Seen here covering the new edition of Interview magazine, Scarlett Johansson shows her sextastic versatility; she can look hot so many ways, including nekkid ways, as we learned a couple months ago.

Avengers, Assemble!

Stacy Keibler Bikini Candid Reveals the World’s Luckiest Dog

No, not George Clooney, though figuratively speaking he is in fact the world's luckiest dog, we're talking about this lucky black Spaniel looking pup serving as the living plush toy for the bikini-clad awesome hotness that is Stacy Keibler. A dog may be man's best friend, but you know if the dog had a say, he'd choose woman. Enjoy.

Nicole Scherzinger Flashes Hot Native Junk in New ‘Culo’ Book

You know how much we approve of this new 'Culo' book featuring the celebrity asstastics in Hollywood. It might actually force us to read a book for the first time in a long time not on a tablet. Because some words, and pictures, just need to be hard copy, to be handled, to be lusted, like this shot of the super-bodied Nicole Scherzinger, featured in the 'Butt' book. Es muy bueno asstastico. Enjoy.

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Heidi Klum and Katy Perry Getting Sapphic For Our Favorite Moment of the AMA’s

Perhaps our first time being genuinely jealous of an obelisk-shaped award, but, oh, to be handled by both the uber-sextastic Heidi Klum and tease-bot Katy Perry, as the two handy girls become so consumed with passion their lips move toward one another. Okay, so maybe we're projecting just a little, but, oh, my, my, if this doesn't get you to sign up for the once a year Men Allowed day trip to the Isle of Lesbo, not sure what will. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez Bends Over for Pitbull (and Fiat) at the American Music Awards

Oh, the music world and artists were abuzz and agog about Jennifer Lopez and her sell-out performance tonight at the American Music Awards. Of course, irate musicians such as John Legend weren't anger-twittering about the hot mama barely clad and getting it on onstage, they were peeved at the fact that J-Lo did her song and dance number around a Fiat, parked in the middle of the stage, clearly a promotional tie in to her new auto-company mega-million dollar campaign. And, yeah, that was kind of crude and Kardashian like pimping, but, c'mon, this is the American Music Awards, a giant assemblage of largely craptastic pop music being honored for it's sheer monetary value. It's all about the money, this isn't about music.

And, to boot, pun intended, if you're doing anything other than laughing at Pitbull literally tap 'dat famous asstastic on J-Lo, you're missing the visual moment that sums up the entire evening. Enjoy.

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