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Sylvie van der Vaart Bikini Body Sextastic Simply Won’t Quit the MILFtastic Show in St. Tropez

Okay, I know she's been divorced for a year now or so, and at some point I'll remember her maiden name, but Sylvie van der Vaart will never leave the scope of my libidinal desires for hot Dutch moms with blonde locks and perfect bikini bodies.

Sylvie has been in St. Tropez the past week prancing across the exclusive sands of the Southern French resort town, exhibition one of the finest former-WAG MILFtastic bodies on the continent. I do believe this is her fifth different bikini by my reckoning. Just the thought of her picking out which of her multitude of fine two piece swimwear will best complement her wicked hot body is almost too much too handle. I sure would like to help her pack. I bet that's fun. Oh, Sylvie, you're single, I'm single, we have so much in common, this should absolutely work. Enjoy.

Sophie Simmons Big Wet Nipples Steal The Underwater Photo Show

Well, this is different. If you can put aside what some might consider a desecration of the Stars and Stripes, this Aleks Kocev H2o shoot of Sophie Simmons, first daughter of Gene and Shannon, is rather unique and alluring and most definitely, big ole nipple inspiring. Sophie definitely has some headlights that love to come out and play slippery when wet.

We don't see a lot of Sophie outside of her reality TV appearances. Kind of a shame. She seems like she has some talent in the teasy photo subject department. Perhaps her dad will put down the Uzi and let her play in front of the cameras a bit more. There seems like much more to give. I breathlessly await. Now stow that nipple before somebody loses and eye. Enjoy.

Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Stripes Sextastic Off Spanish Isles

I can't think of anybody having more fun this summer than Michelle Rodriguez.. Bikini splashing across the Mediterranean, making stops in various ports of call to show off in her bikinis, jump off the port bow, and make love to men and women and probably a few sea nymphs in betwixt.

Michelle's latest stop was Ibiza where she's intermingling with the massive celebrity population on the vacation island, but making sure not to take life too seriously. It's hard not to admire Michelle and her general upbeat playful attitude, if not gawk and leer at her taut female form and how openly she expresses her body language of play time. I bet she's be a fun vacation buddy. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Bikini ‘Toe’ and Hot Booty Flashing in Italy

I haven't really kept up with Eva Longoria and her busy love life of late, though I do believe she remains one of Hollywood's most eligible bachelorettes with money, power, and a slamming bikini body with a sultry Latina flair. The trifecta of the perfect woman.

Eva has been vacationing with some dude or another in Italy, and took time out of her tourist schedule to show off her bikini body by the pool at her resort. Oh, yes, Eva Longoria has still very much got it. Frontside, backside, topside, downside. There's not an inch of Eva Longoria I wouldn't bathe to slather in lotion and then later insist that yes, that really is just lotion, now close your eyes and go back to sleep. Eva does include some pretty naughty thoughts. Enjoy.

Elle Fanning Sports Bra and Stretch Pants For Her Daily Workout

Elle Fanning might be young, but she's one of the hottest commodities in Hollywood these days given that she's tall, slender, blonde, and also has some serious acting chops. The sky's the limit for Elle, probably well past her older sister, though that remains to be seen, though Elle is making sure when she gets her bare-arse movie parts she won't be needing a CGI smear job like Dakota. Elle hits that gym in Studio City pretty much every day for yoga and dancing and some other things that keep her in top top teen readiness.

Elle's semi-standard gym wardrobe is the little sports bra and tights, a regular but striking figure on her daily jaunts to workout. There are a few more things I'm tempted to say about Elle, but decorum and prevailing laws in Guam currently prevent me from mentioning. Just a hey, how's it going, Elle, looking good, will have to do. Enjoy.

Gisele Bundchen Bikini Body Hotness In the Dog Days of Summer

Every now and then I'll see one of those articles about how Gisele Bundchen is the highest paid model in the world each year and then I'll kind of wonder and then I'll see her in a little showy outfit or bikini again and remember, oh, yeah, that's why. Not only is Gisele super famous and celebrity and pimping the shizz out of twenty different merchandise lines at any given time, but she's the original big time Brazilian supermodel. The girl who brought that specific sultry look to the pages of pretty much every single major fashion and beauty magazine across the planet. Marrying famous and such didn't hurt, but it's Gisele's long lean lust inducing body and ability to photograph hot in anything that made her the kazillionaire she is today.

Seeing Gisele in a two piece prancing across the beach with her pooch just reminds us, even in stupid floppy hats, Gisele is a standout among the multitude. Supermodels don't just grow on trees. But, man, if they did, how I would plant one this second in my backyard and raise it with the care of a nervous mother. Enjoy.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Booties, Jen Selter Crazy Hot Bikini Body, Rosa Acosta Divine Thumper Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

I'm not so super at math, but I know we're somewhere right near the dead middle of summer. And the middle of summer means bikinis, bikinis here and there, bikinis everywhere. If you're a sextastic celebrity, you've spent many hours sweating at the gym, on the bike, and on various machines of athletic torture just to look  your best this time of year in your ever-ready bikini. And this is our time to make sure we capture the very best of them. It's sort of like my mandated community service, naturally unrelated to any peeping activity.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Jen Selter and one outstanding bikini body, Rosa Acosta flashing her faptastic bikini thumper, Alessandra Ambrosio and friends showing off suntanning thong booty, Coco Austin in various states of deep cleavage, Nicki Minaj in her bikini promo pics, Genevieve Morton swimsuit perfection, Rose McGowan perfectly hot legs, and so much more. You owe it to the bikini goddesses of summer to check out each and every one of these solar sextastic bikini and breathtaking body revealing social media pics. Enjoy.