The ‘Jurassic World’ Trailer Is Here…Two Days Early

Watch a giant dino-gator eat a shark!

Over the weekend, a teaser trailer Jurassic World teaser trailer announced that a full trailer for the highly anticipated film would drop on Thanksgiving. However, apparently somebody over at Universal Pictures had a change of heart—or, more likely, the thing leaked online somewhere—because today, all of a sudden, there it was on the YouTubes.

At this point, you've probably already watched the thing. So I'll dispense with the description and cut right to the verdict: it looks like it's gonna blow.

Yeah, you heard me. Based on a cursory glance at my Facebook and Twitter feeds, I realize I'm probably in the minority here. But everything I saw in this trailer makes Jurassic World just look like a bigger, flashier version of the 1993 original. Kids go to dino island sans parents, everyone is blown away at first, somebody asks cocky science person whether it was a good idea to f*ck around with genetics and, before you know it, the most dangerous dinosaurs are trying to eat everyone—literally the same basic plot as the first movie. There's even a "here, eat this animal on a string" scene, only instead of a goat and a t-rex it's a shark and a giant dino-gator.

So maybe the actual movie will be better, but I found the trailer underwhelming.

What do you think?

‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Teaser Trailer to Debut in Select Theaters This Friday

Good news for anybody who loves Star Wars but hates family and/or turkey. Starting Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, an 88-second teaser trailer for Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens will air before films at "select theaters."

The story was broken by Regal Cinemas, who announced on their website Monday morning that the teaser would run before every showing of every just nine locations in Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, Irvine, Knoxville, New York, San Diego, Seattle, and Warrington. However, not long afterward the announcement was replaced with this, making the whole thing seem suddenly mysterious.

Of course, making things seem mysterious is J.J. Abrams's bread and butter. So retracting the announcement was probably his idea.

In any case, a few hours later, a far less specific announcement came from the official Bad Robot Twitter feed.

So is the teaser going to air exclusively at just those nine theaters Regal mentioned earlier in the day, or will be be a little wider than that? That's unclear.

What is clear is that you'd have to be an idiot to pay $15 just to see a trailer. (No offense, idiots.) If you already wanted to go see Interstellar or Penguins of Madagascar anyway, then sure, go. But don't go just to see 88 seconds of Star Wars you can see online next week. FOR FREE.

‘Zoolander 2′ Is Finally Happening, Because the Universe Isn’t a Cold Meaningless Vacuum After All

Ben Stiller has been trying to make Zoolander 2 for 13 years. Now it's finally going to happen.

Fresh off the huge box office success of The Farrelly Brothers' Dumb and Dumber To, Paramount Picture is finally committing to Zoolander 2.

Stiller will once again direct and star as the titular dim-witted non-ambiturner, while Justin Theroux will pen the script. There have been rumors that Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell will reprise their roles as Hansel and Mugato as well, and I'm 99% sure that these rumors will prove to be true. However, right now their involvement is unconfirmed.

You know who is confirmed, according to Deadline? Penelope Cruz. We don't know what role she will play. Perhaps she'll be a love interest for Hansel. Perhaps she'll be a villain. But whatever she is, I'm pretty sure she'll be a model, seeing as how she is really, really ridiculously good-looking.

Obviously, this movie has a ton of potential because the original Zoolander is an all-time classic. The trick for Stiller and company will be staying creative and showing restraint. If they cut back on the celebrity cameos, avoid scenes that are too long, and try to come up with new gags instead of doing crazier versions of the old ones, Zoolander 2 should be alright.

Summit Entertainment Wants Tom Cruise to Star in ‘Highlander’ Remake

Supposed some Hollywood studio was going to do a remake of the 1986 classic, Highlander. Hypothetically. Who should they try to get to play Juan Ramirez?

You remember the movie and the role, right? A Scottish dude named Connor McCloud, played by Christopher Lambert, is immortal, and he wants to get revenge on this other immortal dude who did bad things. So he gets yet another immortal dude named Juan, played by Sean Connery, to train him how to be a badass, and Juan teaches him how being an immortal basically means you're in a lifelong fight to the death with every other immortal, because "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Well, my first choice for Ramierz would be an actual badass Spanish dude like Javier Bardem. But if they really wanted to stick with a native English speaker, Liam Nieson would be fantastic, too.

However, Summit Entertainment actually is making a Highlander remake, and according to The Wrap, they want Tom Cruise to play Juan Ramirez.

Why? Because Tom Cruise is a "talent magnet," which means if he signed on, they'd stand a better chance of landing somebody totally dreamy for the role of Conner McCloud. And that's important, since whoever it is will also have to star in Highlanders 2-9, or however many sequels they end up doing.

So is Tom Cruise considering it? No. Cruise has not rejected the offer, and that's the first step in getting him to sign up. But he isn't in talks. It's just one of the dozens of projects sitting in his agent's "maybe" pile.

Why then did I write a post about it? Because the thought of Tom Cruise playing a role made famous by Sean Connery is pretty funny, don't you think? I mean, Connery is 6'2".

Take a Break from Looking at Naked Ladies and Check Out the New ‘Peanuts Movie’ Trailer

Long live Snoopy...

Okay internet, stop looking at pictures of Kim Kardashian's ass for two minutes and experience something pure and innocent from your childhood. Even though it doesn't come out for another year, there's a new trailer for the The Peanuts Movie starring Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the gang. And it's adorable.

It starts with the world's most famous cartoon beagle taking a siesta on top of his doghouse in his customary fashion, Vince Guaraldi's famous Charlie Brown theme rollicking along in the background, as Woodstock and his little bird friends decorate the joint for Christmas. Then Snoop wakes up, puts on his aviation gear, morphs into his World War I flying ace persona, and gets into a dogfight over the tree-lined boulevards of Paris to the tune of "What I Like About You" by Flo Rida and somebody named Fitz—all while words on the screen encourage us to "dream big." Like the cartoon dog.

Of course, I sound cynical, but I actually thought it was pretty great considering it's a whole lot of nothing. Many people were worried that Charles Schultz's classic Peanuts would lose its charm when rendered in 3D CGI, and in truth, some people just aren't going to like it. But Schultz's son and grandson, who served as producer and writer, have promised the spirit of the film would remain true to the original comics. Meanwhile, producer Paul Feig (Bridesmaids) has promised "Charlie Brown won't twerk, wear a baseball cap backwards or try to 'break the Internet' a la Kim Kardashian." And I think, so far, they've all stayed true to their word.

The Peanuts Movie hits theaters NEXT Christmas.

(Okay everybody, now you can go back to looking at naked lady pictures.)

Nerd Alert! The Russo Brothers Might Take ‘Avengers’ Reigns from Joss Whedon and Direct ‘Infinity War’

The final two films from Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe still don't hit theaters until this spring (Avengers: Age of Ultron) and summer (Ant-Man). But it's not too early to start thinking about the development of Phase 3—especially given the interesting rumor flying around the web today.

According to Deadline, after Joss Whedon completes Age of Ultron, he'll hand over the Avengers reins to the Russo Brothers—i.e., Joe and Anthony.

At first blush that may seem like surprising news, given the fact the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe would have imploded and turned into a black hole (sucking up all Disney's money) had Joss Whedon not hit the first Avengers flick out of the park. However, when you think about it, handing the reins to somebody else makes all kinds of sense.

First of all, this doesn't mean Marvel is kicking Whedon out. He's a key member of the Marvel brain trust, and in all likelihood he's totally ready to work on something else.

More importantly, the Russo-directed Captain America: Civil War is going to be a pretty huge turning point for the MCU. Why not hand off the next big Marvel superhero jamboree over to the guys who are basically laying the foundation for Phase 3?

At this point, the switch is all just conjecture. But don't be surprised when they make it official.

Universal Assembles Brain Trust to Oversee New Shared Cinematic Monster Universe

We've been getting bits and pieces about Universal Studios' reboot of the original share cinematic universe for a while. Now everything is official.

Joining writers/producers Alex Kurtzman (Star Trek, Star Trek: Into DarknessThe Amazing Spider-Man 2) and Chris Morgan (Fast & Furious) to form the Universal Monsterverse "Brain Trust" will be writers/producers Noah Hawley (creator and writer of FX's Fargo), Aaron Guzikowski (Prisoners), and Ed Solomon (Bill & Ted, Men in Black, Now You See Me). The idea is for these guys to function like a veteran television writer's room. Each will take the lead on individual projects while working together to paint the bigger picture.

So what are the individual projects? First up will be The Mummy, written and directed by Kurtzman. That will hit theaters June 24, 2016. Then another Universal monster picture will hit theaters on April 21, 2017. And while they haven't yet said which one it will be, my money's on The Wolf Man, which we already know is being written by Guzikowski.

After that we're going to get Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Van Helsing, and The Invisible Man.  We just don't know who or when.

And let's not forget about good old Dracula. According to producer Alissa Phillips, October's Dracula Untold starring Luke Evans is indeed part of Universal's monsterverse reboot. So we'll certainly be seeing more of him, too.

[THR via Screenrant]