Drumroll, Please: The 2014 Movie Trailer Mashup (VIDEO)

Horror, action, comedy, adventure, and fantasy. Which is your favorite genre? If you’ve got seven minutes to spare, then hit ‘play’ to check out a mashup of movie trailers for flicks that were released this year. The clip opens with Maze Runner and transitions to Extraterrestrial pretty quickly.

By the time seven minutes are up, you’ll find that you’ve watched scenes from trailers of some of the year’s biggest blockbusters, including Guardians of the GalaxyBig Hero 6, and Gone Girl. Check it out!

How to Remove Your ‘Stache In the Most Painful Ways Possible (VIDEO)

How do you remove your ‘stache? Let me count the ways. Most dudes choose to shave the whole damn thing off if they can’t be bothered with shaping and trimming it regularly. However, engineering tech nerd Mehdi Sadaghdar decided that his ‘stache was too good for mere scissors and razors.

So he embarked on a journey to remove his ‘stache in the most painful ways possible. And even though I don’t have a ‘stache myself, this video is both painful and hilarious to watch. Check it out!

Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Batman Forever”

I’ve seen a lot of movies in the theater in my life and most of them were pretty forgettable. I vividly remember going to see Tim Burton’s first Batman film when I was a little kid with my dad. I was a lifelong Batman fan, both of the comics and the old Adam West TV show from the 60′s. Tim Burton’s take on the Caped Crusader was bold and dark, a throwback to the original spirit of Batman. The second Tim Burton film was nowhere near as good but it was still pretty darn entertaining. Then Burton left the franchise and terrible director Joel Schumacher took the helm. His first outing was Batman Forever and it is an over-the-top miracle of cheese.

riddlerVal Kilmer stars as Batman/Bruce Wayne, which if you ask me is an even weirder casting choice than Michael Keaton. He has to do battle with two villains, Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face and Jim Carrey as the Riddler. It’s hard to say which of the two of them chews more scenery. It’s an overacting competition where the winner is no one. Batman recruits an assistant in the form of Robin, played by 90′s heartthrob Chris O’Donnell. There is also a love interest played by Nicole Kidman but no one really cares about her. Kilmer and O’Donnell foil the Riddler and Two-Face’s plot, of course. It’s hard to say what the plot was exactly. It’s all a blur of color and rubber Batsuits.

Sure, Batman Forever is a bad movie but it is at least partially entertaining in a campy fun way. It wasn’t like Schumacher’s follow-up Batman and Robin. That movie was an abomination. It’s the only film I’ve ever been to that I saw people walk out en masse like I did at Batman and Robin. At least in Batman Forever there aren’t nipples on the Batsuit. But it does have the following boner jam from Seal.

The Tim Burton Porno Parody Is Here

I am a very big fan of Tim Burton’s early work. Everything from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure to Sleepy Hollow is damn fine and entertaining. I just love wacky Gothic film, I guess. After the abominable Planet of the Apes, he’s been hit or miss. Big Fish was pretty good but that Alice in Wonderland movie made me want to punch him in the throat. But, as we all know, you are not successful as a filmmaker until your style is incorporated into a porno. This porn parody by the folks at Nacho Punch tells the tale of Edward Skimmerhands, a pool boy who has a sexy run-in with his sultry client. It doesn’t have any nudity, alas, but it’s still pretty funny.

I remember seeing a porn version of Edward Scissorhands 20 years ago when I was perusing a pornography emporium with some friends. It was called Edward Penishands and he had…well…penises for hands. It’s not subtle but it works.

‘Honey, I Threw Our Kid Over the Balcony!’ Prank (VIDEO)

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You get up in the morning and you want to cook up some bacon. The only problems is that you don’t have any pants or underwear on. Now, you could put something on over your privates to protect it from piping hot bacon grease. A third degree burn on your dong is not something you want to happen. But what if you want to be mostly naked and pantless? You just like the feel of the wind on your butt hair. Well, you are in luck. Behold the Naked Bacon Cooking Armor. It’s basically like a cup covered in foam that keeps the bacon grease from burning your cockles. J&D Foods, the company that made the device, said that the armor,

“Constructed from a hard plastic shell covered with foam then enclosed in vinyl. It truly is the gold standard of genital grease burn protection.”

Some people might well say that this seems like an awful lot of work for an action that is completely preventable by simply putting on pants. But as J&D said,

“Cooking and eating bacon naked has been said to be the equivalent of winning the lottery, scoring a touchdown in the Super Bowl and neck-punching Justin Bieber all at once.”

Well, I can’t argue with that.