Humor

Zombie Parkour? Yes.

Undead X-treme!

We all know that the zombocalypse is coming. The question is which kind of zombies will they be? The drug addled psychos from recent news stories? The slow moving ghouls of George Romero? Or the running zombies from 28 Days Later? I don't know. What I am sure of is that I hope they are nothing like the zombies in this video that can friggin' parkour. The video itself is pretty cool and the stunts are amazing. But it does bring to mind my own athletic shortcomings viz a viz not having my brains eaten by the undead. I'm overweight and I have a bad knee. I could maybe get away from the slow moving guys if they don't cut off my escape route. But I know I don't stand a chance with zombies that can either run or bounce around buildings and climb walls.

If Z-Day has zombies like this...well...it was nice knowin' y'all.

Forget 3D, Pizza Smelling Movies Is The Next Big Thing!

Eu acho que vou vomitar!

Do you like movies but wish that they smelled more like delicious junk food? Then you are in luck! Scientists in Brazil, (who previously brought you Pelé and bald vaginas), have invented a DVD that gives off Domino's Pizza smell when played. You may remember DVDs as the flat disks that contained movies and hours of bonus features no one ever watched. They are still popular in Brazil where downloading movies off the internet is limited due to all of the soul-crushing poverty and whatnot. When you play the DVDs, a, (probably), carcinogenic substance is released that fills your room with syntho-pizza scent. The disk itself will then have turned its brown-grey label into a pepperoni pizza looking sticker that gives off even stronger pizza BO when you eject it. Magic!  The idea is that this will make you want to order a Domino's Pizza. I see some flaws in the reasoning.

Linking smell and movies is nothing new. Smell-O-Vision and Aroma-roma were competing systems developed in the 60's that would flood the movie theater with scents relating to the action on screen. Jon Waters later spoofed these with his disgusting smelling Odorama scratch-and-sniff cards for Polyester. The problem is that the synthetic smells became so overwhelming that people were too distracted to watch the movies. Instead of making them want to buy popcorn, people just yacked in the aisles. Also, what's to say that the pizza smell from the DVDs would prompt me to specifically buy a Domino's Pizza? I live in New York City where there is a pizza place very two blocks. I will often pass one and smell the deliciousness and think, "I'm going to get a slice...at a pizza place I know and like and not Original Ray's VVIIIXX that might suck". And finally, is it a good idea to encourage people to eat more junk food and get even fatter? If we gain too much more weight we are going to knock the Earth off of its axis.

Well, That Was Awkward: How Not To Orgasm (VIDEO)

"OJ Didn't Do It!"

The big O makes people say the craziest things. Maybe some people experience a disconnect with their brain when they put their foot in their mouths. Either that, or they're just plain weird for saying whatever it is they said that instantly killed the mood for you. How they can keep going is beyond me.

You can't exactly gag your partner (unless she's into that sort of thing--if she is, lucky you!) but you can let her know she says the darndest things when she's about to come by showing her this hilarious albeit awkward clip called How Not to Orgasm by Scott Rogowsky and Karley Sciortino.

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‘The Matrix’ Retold: The Story That Was Never Told… Or Made… Or Written(VIDEO)

Matrix Retold By a Mom
Starring "Leo", "his girlfriend", and "Moshimo"

This is several days too late for Mother's Day, but we wanted to do our own little tribute dedicated to moms all over the world for their awesomeness. Because if they hadn't banged your daddy right, then you wouldn't be here to exercise your loins and enjoy the world today.

Most moms get bored fast when you've got a sci-fi click in the DVD player. The perfect example is Austin-based filmmaker Joe Nicolosi's mom, who closed her eyes a couple of times while watching The Matrix, which is probably one of the best movies that Keanu Reeves ever made.

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The Talking Dead: A Bad Lip Reading of ‘The Walking Dead’ (VIDEO)

"La-Bibbida-Bibba-Dum!"

Lipreading is an invaluable skill that you can use for watching movies and TV shows when the audio sucks or when your bros are being too loud and noisy. Why use your ears when you can just use your eyes?

The downside is you probably won't understand a damn thing if you're bad at it or are just starting out. The upside is that you'll be laughing your ass off for something that no one else will really get, unless of course, they somehow manage to get inside your head.

This clip by Bad Lip Reading is the perfect example of that. What better show to butcher lipread than The Walking Dead, where zombies with gaping mouths run rampant and characters deliver lines about banjos and shark costumes with teeth? Make sure you watch until the end of clip when everyone breaks into song for Walking Dead: The Musical. 

Nerd Fight! “Star Wars Fans” Battle “Dr. Who” Fans In England

Star Wars and Dr. Who fans got into the dorkiest fight ever at a sci-fi convention in England. It all went down in Norwich when the local Star Wars club put on a sci-fi con. Dr. Who actors Graham Cole and Jeremy Bulloch were there to sign autographs, so naturally lots of Tardis lovers left their mom's basements to see their heroes. But when the the Dr. Who fans showed up, the Star Wars fans started verbally abusing them. Many insults were hurled between puffs on their asthma inhalers. So, the Dr. Who fans did what any self respecting person would do and called the cops and whined that the mean old guy dressed like Darth Vader told him to "Da-lick my nuts!" or whatever. I tend to agree with Admiral Akbar when he said, "It's a trap!"

Why would the Star Wars club invite Dr. Who "celebs" to their convention if they hold the show in such poor regard? I think that they wanted to pick a fight with the Whoheads. This makes me think that the organizers may be Sith. Nerds have a hierarchy like any other group of people. It's arguable that Trekkies are on top and Star Wars fans are on the next tier. But Dr. Who is definitely a few steps down the sci-fi virginity pyramid. Was this just an opportunity for one group of nerds to push around a smaller, weaker, less economically profitable franchise? Maybe. I'm reminded of the time I went to see a midnight screening of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith on opening night and two guys showed up dressed like hobbits. The Star Wars fans started booing and throwing stuff at the wee Shire folk. But why would you show up looking like Samwise Gamgee if you weren't looking to start some mess?

Into Dorkness: Star Trek the Middle School Musical? (VIDEO)

Star Trek: Into Dorkness

'What if Star Trek was done as a Middle School musical?' Asked no one ever.

And yet, YouTube comedians Rhett and Link asked and answered that very question as a segment of this week's Mythical Show. If you manage to watch the video longer than thirty seconds, you'll get all the references, in-jokes, and general lulz you're probably not craving right now. Seriously, you'll want to set your phasers to 'deaf'. The whole thing has the general appeal of an actual Middle School musical...because that's exactly what it is.

They've released it just in time for the hour you'll be waiting in line for Star Trek Into Darkness where you can blast it at everyone in front of you to shorten your wait. When will this day be over? We really just want to watch some freaking Trek!

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