When I was a kid my grandfather and I used to watch Dr. Who on PBS, (the old school one with Tom Baker and his White man 'fro). I was terrified of the Daleks. For those of you who weren't virgins until you were 23 and don't know what that is, Daleks are a malevolent cyborg race that is bent on universal domination and are Dr. Who's greatest enemies. So, imagine my horror when I read this story about a dude in England finding the head of a Dalek in a pond. Marc Oakland was helping clean a shallow pond when he felt something by his foot. When he pulled it up it was indeed the decapitated head of one of the dreaded mechanical killers. The easy explanation is that the production was probably filming nearby and the prop fell off of a truck or something and sunk.
Or maybe that's what they want you to think. I always had a notion that Dr. Who was real. I need to get me one of those sonic screwdrivers. And a Tardis. And grow my hair out. And get a goofy scarf. Watch the Daleks in action in the video above. EXTERMINATE!
Obviously, you shouldn't believe everything you see on TV. The camera plays all sorts of tricks and most series plots and storylines are impossible or factually incorrect. Even some shows on Discovery Channel were staged even though they weren't supposed to be....*cough* Bear Grylls *cough*.
One series that doesn't claim to be factual in every sense of the word is Doctor Who, and it's evident from its many seasons that half the things that goes on it are virtually impossible. If you happened to pay attention to close-ups on computer screens featured on the show, then you'll notice that they're mostly bogus websites that don't exist.
If you're bored, are a fan of the show, and have three and a half minutes to burn, then sit back and enjoy the video compilation of fake websites on Doctor Who in the player above. Enjoy!
When I first moved to New York City several years ago I liked to seek out places I'd seen in movies. The Ghostbusters' firehouse in Tribeca, the park by the Queenboro bridge from Manhattan, and The Godfather's house in Staten Island. But I only had to look down at my feet at a manhole cover to think about all the C.H.U.D.s that were hankering to eat me. C.H.U.D. was ahead of its time in a way. It addressed both the problems of the environmental impact of toxic waste as well as the growing homeless population in New York. But really it's all about the goofy monsters and their love of eating people that make this movie so wonderfully terrible.
C.H.U.D is an acronym for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. It seems that some crooked politicians have been dumping toxic waste in the sewers and this has mutated the homeless people that live underground into monsters with a taste for man flesh. Naturally. John Heard stars as a photographer doing an assignment photographing the city's homeless population when he learns that they have been disappearing. He teams up with Daniel Stern, (you know, from City Slickers, Home Alone, and the voice of adult Kevin from The Wonder Years), who plays "The Reverend" to find out what's happening. They discover the C.H.U.D.s and the conspiracy that led to their creation and have to figure out a way to stop them before they eat everyone!
The message of the movie is laid on pretty thick. Government complicity in causing pollution, the general lack of care for homeless people, and the deliciousness of human flesh is very much on the screenwriter's mind. The only problem is that I don't really see what solution he offers other than saying, "You better be nice to homeless folks and recycle or they will become monsters and eat you." An important lesson. The movie is a classic in the of mid-eighties schlocktacular sci-fi/horror genre. It was really the second coming of the B-monster movies from the 50's. C.H.U.D. definitely has a bit of The Blob and even Godzilla in its DNA. Only the rubber lizard costume from Godzilla looks like The Matrix compared to the rubber masks in C.H.U.D. even though it was made 30 years before. Watch it today and give the homeless dude on the corner a dollar tomorrow...or else!
There are probably a million and one ways to open a bottle of beer. From the sane and normal to the crazy and insane, people have thought about it and dudes have actually gone out and done it, just for the heck of it. If you're still opening bottles with a bottle opener, then you need to watch this because you are seriously boring with a capital 'B!'
This video compilation features just the crazy ways that people have used to get to their booze, though. Some used their pet birds, others decided to go all out with chainsaws, while the daredevil types used skateboards, bikes, and even their bellybuttons to unleash the booze within.
This video will give you a ton of ideas about how to get that bottle or can open in the most unconventional way possible. Some of them are probably dangerous, so don't try those at home if you want to drink more and live longer.
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Egotastic
Saruman Is Dropping A Metal Album
Christopher Lee, Saruman himself, is dropping a heavy metal album called Charlemagne: The Omens Of Death. Yes, it's about Charlemagne the Frankish king and yes it will be badass. It's actually the second album Lee put out about the first Holy Roman Emperor. In 2010 he released Charlemagne: By The Sword And The Cross. They are the kind of metal concept albums sprinkled with medieval history, Dungeons and Dragons, and Satanism that your burnout headbanger cousins would have enjoyed in 1983. I'm no expert in the field, (I'm only metal with a small "m"), but I think this album sounds darker and heavier than the last one. I guess it's a more mature piece. He was only 88 when he did the first one, after all.
Christopher Lee is f%@king amazing. The dude is 91 years old! He was awesome as Dracula, Saruman, all those Tim Burton movies, and even in that piece of crap Attack of the Clones. I for one hope that the powers of darkness preserve me as well as they have Christopher Lee. Behold the first track off the album and despair!