Celebrities

Courtney Stodden Bloody Boobtastic Halloween Madness

Well, we just had to trail with a little blood here hours before I go and rob my neighbors of all their fake chocolate compound candy bars. I wish we had more Belgian and Swiss families on the street to show some pride and pass out the real stuff. Nevertheless, may I never look down upon a Nestle Crunch bite in my living years.

Courtney Stodden got into the Halloween spirit with copious amounts of fangs, funbags, and fake blood. Not exactly scream queen, but squeamishly chesty queen for sure. Say what you will about Courtney, she maintains a body built for show, especially around all the holidays. She's a master of attention. It's Halloween, go on, give her some. It's just like candy! Enjoy.

 

Xenia Deli Turns Swimsuits into Sextastic Visual Treats

Xenia Deli remains the hottest women I've ever known from Moldova. I could expand beyond that geographically had I paid attention during my primary education years. She's just simply dark and alluring and hot bodied and all the things I dream about popping out of my cake on my birthday if I had awesome friends who were not so super broke all the time. Not that I don't love the six pack of Red White and Blue, boys, it's just not quite a supermodel with the passion inducing powers of Xenia Deli covered in nothing but streaks of frosting.

Featured in the new swimsuit look for Lemar Swimsuits 2015, yet, it's already 2015 in the fashion world, Xenia Deli is simply another world class stunner who makes every bikini and swimsuit look like it belongs only to the world of goddesses. Which is probably the case. Your wearing results may differ, as it were. As for me and Xenia, when we disappear on a desert island for the rest of the winter, please, don't come to rescue us, we'll be doing just fine. Enjoy.

Paris Hilton White Hot Leggy Duck(?) Costume for Pre-Halloween in Hollywood

When you're an heiress, Halloween stretches at least a week, if not a month, because you got costumes up the wazoo. In fact, if you're Billionaire Barbie, you've got costumes that are designed to ride you up the wazoo and get you a little extra attention. And Paris does so revel in her annual Halloween get ups. She'll go through at least five to ten costumes before the holiday is over.

Last night Paris went for something white and furry which looked kind of like feathery duck or goose trying to show off some hot long legs. Though when fowl does that, we tend to lop them off and bake them. With Paris, she more likely got nibbled by a wealthy drunken bachelor. Such is her life. I'm just glad she shares the show off parts with us. Nobody has more fun than Billionaire Barbie. Nobody. Enjoy.

Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Barely Contained In Her White Dress

Who is Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, well, she's kind of a celebrity bon vivant of Jolly Old England. A Big Brother contestant turned reality star and TV hostess and fashion something or other, most of which boils down to lots of getting decked out in revealing outfits and hitting the party scene in London. Try putting that under occupation on your tax returns.

Aisleyne hit the town hard over the wee hours of the night in a white snug dress that barely held in her uncontained udders yearning to be free. No bra and that dress with that rack nearly resulted in even better photos. As for now, we'll just have to adopt a wait and see-even-more next time attitude. Those puppies are really something. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Brings Sheer Topped Knockers To Dad’s Birthday Party

Your stepfather's birthday party seems like perhaps an odd place to wear a tight sheer top over your mammoth mammaries, but when you live life on camera, I suppose there's no down time from the exhibition time. Kim Kardashian found the perfect dress to wear in a couple sizes too small for her curves and headed off to Bruce Jenner's celebration. It was hard to miss Kim considering her massive funbags and nipples looked ready to go Vesuvius at any given moment.

I've never begrudged Kim using her big curves to earn a living. You need to work with what you've got. She's turned the few things she's got into a major business empire. That's impressive even if you don't care for her personally. And, yes, she had some help, from mom, and Mother Nature, and various doctors around town. Still, as long as Kim isn't charging for ogles, I've made my peace with her vapid doll house life. Enjoy.

Vivica Mitra Thong Swimsuit Pimping and Pleasing Hard on the Beach

Our sextastic half-Indian princess Vivica Mitra took another turn on the Malibu beach shoreline now almost entirely dedicated to daily photoshoots pimping the creepy 138 Water. I suppose we're buying into their crass promotional campaign by giving them coverage, but what's a boy to do when on a daily basis the likes of the hot Vivica Mitra in a thong swimsuit with that booty is thrust into our faces. Not literally thrust, and we are more really pulling it toward us, but you get the point. It's hard to resist.

Vivica, that swimsuit is simply one of the best man-made inventions ever. The body you're putting into it, one of the best bits of handiwork from Mother Nature. Combined, well, I'd have to show you my adult-rated pantomime to properly express my feelings. That thong, wow. Enjoy.

Padma Lakshmi And Her Cheffing Boobs of Goodness

Get out of my dreams, get into my car, you sextastic hot Indian kitchen hottie. Um, no, that's not directed at anybody in particular, though, yes, i suppose it could apply to the outrageously boobtastic Padma Lakshmi leaving her New York digs for some swank party. I'm guessing on the party part, she does seem a bit overdressed for White Castle. Though let's not discount how wearing that dress to White Castle would make her my number one forever dream girl. I'm sure she's aware.

Padma doesn't often show a lot of skin in the public arena, but when she does, this Top Chef delight thrills in the forty and faptastic category. A hot mom with the wares she dares to bare. That's some dress. I'm sure it cost more than my rent, which I'd gladly forgo and live on the street if Padma would only let me help her zip up and adjust. I think I just made an amuse-bouche in my pants. Enjoy.