Celebrities

Kendall Jenner Underboob Takes Paris By Storm

Kendall Jenner is now model mode full time. Whatever it is she was before, she's now 100% fashion model completely with showy catwalks and revealing outfits and that distant model gaze. She's kind of perfect for this job. You might say she was born for it, if not bred and reared. And, quite frankly, she looks pretty damn hot (not to mention tall and lean) showing off some funbag flesh in Paris. I don't see why she can't legitimately make it as a fashion model, and all the skills that that entails. She was certainly launched by her famous family name, but she seems to have the real chops for this kind of posing and strutting.

Kendall, I remember when you were just an innocent young Kardashian. Actually, I don't remember that. But I do remember when you said you wanted to do something on your own, completely different from the rest of your family. Nothing could be more distant from big-boob show modeling and reality show stardom than being a celebrity fashion model. I applaud you and your underboobs. Well done. Enjoy.

Miley Cyrus Flashing Something Something Pulled Up Something on Stage Down Rio Way

I'll be the first to admit, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking at in terms of Miley Cyrus sucking her orange body suit up into her lady cavity down Rio way on her Bangerz tour. There's a little bit of shadow and stage lighting effect that makes it seem like Miley's gone completely cooch hungry and showing off in Brazil where such things are considered more artistic and perhaps less illegal than here in the States. Suffice it to say, I think this goes beyond anything Jim Morrison got busted for during his drugged up public exhibitions.

Miley really is owning the globe now with her mini circus show and her revealing costumes and pre-fabbed songs and running around the stage showing off her every part. It'd be easy to mock it, but it's been wildly successful. So I guess you can still mock it and Miley can still not care because she takes home a piece. And shows off many pieces on stage. And everybody there seems to be reveling in her silly excess, so, I say, no harm, no foul. Though I would like a better diagnosis on what I'm seeing in this photo. Enjoy.

Ashley Lee Hot Pimping Bottled Water by Way of Sextastic Revealing Swimsuit

I'm already past tired of this weird 138 bottled water shitck. But will I ever tire of seeing hot bodied models posing with their flesh festivals on the beach in Malibu? Nay, I shall not. Never I suppose. Not when the likes of Asian hottie Ashley Lee is working her bodacious body in support of this silly merchandising venture. There's nothing silly about a revealing black swimsuit on a curvy hot woman twisting and preening for the cameras. I'm not laughing. I'm mostly just making a serious face to cover potential embarrassments here in the office.

Ashley Lee, whatever you're selling, I'm buying. Though on principle I will not pay more than about fifty cents for a bottle of water seeing as how it comes free from the sky. Well, not since 2011 in Los Angeles, but in other places, I've heard tale of rain. If only girls like Ashley Lee rained down from the heavens, I'd be the first to look up at the sky and stick out my tongue. Enjoy.

Emily Ratajkowski Hotness Hits the Big Time in Cosmo

Somebody's star is certainly rising. And deservedly so. Emily Ratajkowski now makes the cover of Cosmo magazine, which is pretty huge if you're a model with huge sextastic talents. I'd like to think we played some role in making Emily into a household, if not bathroom private time, name, though I suspect 99% of the credit must go to her superior genetics. If you managed to catch Emily in her extensive 'hacked' work, you noted she is pretty much perfect all over. Um, yes, did I mention all over?

Emily is one of those women who just stuns you from the moment you first lay peeps upon her, and then it just never ever stops. It's like that sensation when you taste your favorite food after a long absence and you're entire body just becomes happy. Only this is one wicked hot bodied crazy good looking woman, so it's even better than your favorite burger ever. There's meat and then there's flesh. Never the former shall triumph. Congratulations, Emily. I knew this was possible from the moment I first drooled looking at you. Enjoy.

 

Anais Zanotti Bikini Body Perfection on the Shores of Miami

When Anais Zanotti comes out to bikini play, she comes to win. There's not an single angle of her where you don't see a taunt to the potential competition, bring it on other bikini clad hotties, because my body will kick your body's ass. Or, maybe smooch it softly to candlelight if this were a perfect world.

Anais has simply perfected the fine art of fine bikini booties on the beach in Miami. That's no easy field to dominate. The hot thumpers along that piece of shoreline originating from all parts of the world is tremendous. But Anais more than holds her own. Oh, that I could hold her own as well. That is so high on my bucket list. Anais, just a squeeze for a gentleman ogler who needs a happy checkmark? Dare to dream when your fantasy girl struts right by in a tiny bikini. Enjoy.

Casey Batchelor Continues Her Run of Cleavetastic Paparazzi Wins

Casey Batchelor is not going to let a couple things like her big front things stop her from wearing low cut outfits and tiny bikinis. Not when the award for most photographed celebrity is up for grabs each and every night somewhere in this world.

Casey flashed her impressive mams which she claims are downsized from just a few months ago on the red carpet of a movie premiere in London. Naturally, every single camera lens was directed by gravity if nothing else to her impressive chestal assets. If you build them, they will come. Something like that. I just admire a girl who knows her best side and isn't afraid to use it. Casey Batchelor would made for a fun movie premiere date, if you didn't mind being known as 'hey, who's the shlump with the girl with the giant hoo-haws?'. I certainly don't. Enjoy.

Gisele Bundchen Long Luscious Legs on the Parisian Catwalk

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for... meh it's not me. It's Gisele Bundchen. While her husband was having a less than memorable moment in Kansas City, Gisele was in Paris getting paid eighteen billion dollars and some cents for modeling Chanel on the catwalk in the heart of the fashion world. I don't exactly know where a woman would go dressed in half these things the hotties model, but straight to my bedroom is how it turns in my fantasies. That turn and return to backstage could easily be modified by putting up a detour sign, building an extended walkway, and perhaps a Lego bridge right into my house. I've got plans.

Gisele didn't just luck into being the world's top paid models. She has the chops. The body. The legs. The look. The special 'it' factor that makes women want to buy the things she wears. You can't explain it, you can only see the results. And the legs. Those hot mommy legs. Put me down for an order of two bushels. Is that how you order haute couture? Enjoy.