Celebrities

Kourtney Kardashian Bikini Pictures Little Blurs of Hot Bodiness from Cabo

Once again, the men I pay entirely with Los Lobos mixed tapes caught another fine celebrity suntanning down Cabo way from their telescopic lensed perches in the palm trees lining the resort. Ever climbed a palm tree? Well, it's worth a few Los Lobos mixed tapes when your reproductive knuckles snag on a trunk knot. Um, not that I know firsthand. But, on to the hotties... because we caught Kourtney Kardashian bikini suntanning at the resort in a rather rare bikini appearance for the eldest and perhaps least publicly shot of the Kardashian sisters. Though that is a relative scale.

After two children now, Kourtney is still looking mighty fine in her two piece swimsuit, her pert asstastic and those slightly modified mum teats perfectly situated in the sun. It's a bit blurry to catch anything to gripe about, which is perhaps the upside of shooting from twenty nautical miles away. On Google Earth, everybody looks hot. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook Bikini Pimping Her Hot Body in Two Pieces of Self-Designed Goodness

I'm trying to asses if my feelings of passion for Kelly Brook are heightened by her designing her own line of bikini swimwear she's modeling for New Look. I don't typically have feelings one way or another for anything fashion, but I am imagining how many times Kelly tried on samples in the mirror to see if her outragrously curvaceous female form fit ever so snugly and barely into the bikinis. Oh, to be a fly on her sugar walls.

Kelly Brook is one of my all-time favorite lady lovable sextastic celebrities. She always seems to have the perfect smile to match her killer soft curves. Her boobtastic alone makes her a winner in my book of deviant thoughts, the idea that she's designing bikini tops to temporarily cover her chest muffins sort of heightens the tease. Though this could merely be a case of me kissing Kelly's ass so she'll finally agree to meet. I'm searching my soul for honesty these days. Enjoy.

Anais Zanotti Bikini Body Curves Galore on Miami Beach

Anais Zanotti has a lot of lady body to work with, and she doesn't seem content on anything that might cover it up. Just the tiniest of bikini tops and thongs for the French stunt woman and model who routinely now provides some of the best curves on the beach in the most competitive Miami landscape.

Sure, anyone can strap on a tiny two pice, but how many girls can confidently pose and preen every single part of their body knowing the cameras are on them without so much as a visual misstep. Anais has some serious exhibitionist skills. I sure would like to be her SPF-boy, rubbing in the salve every couple of hours to ensure protection then completely eschewing protection later in the evening. That's the inherent irony of being the SPF-boy that I dig so much. Enjoy.

Brooke Burke MILFtastic Workout Posing for Skechers

When I see Brooke Burke, that song I Will Always Love You comes into my head as I imagine finding a sitter for Brooke's thirteen to twenty-two kids she has birthed and renting a room for two at some upscale roadside motel. You know, the kind that breaks the $49,95 price barrier I usually restrict myself too with ordinary dates. Brooke Burke is hardly ordinary, the 40-something MILF showing off her toned body, recovered from all that child making, not to mention a scare with cancer, just still lust-inducing exceptional showing off for a Skechers ad shoot in Los Angeles.

Hot women don't get older, they only get more worldly and desirable. Brooke Burke is the classic example of a woman more smoking than ever before. And I'm not just saying that so she'll choose me to be her boy toy on the side. I don't want to ruin her marriage, just make it better by taking pressure off her husband to satisfy her sexual peaking years desires. I am a helper. Enjoy.

Constance Nunes Bikinis Up Against One Lucky Rock in Malibu For Continued Water Pimping

Look, somebody's got to be pimping this pricey glamorous water. Why not a bevy of bikini clad beauties like Constance Nunes flashing all kinds of sextastic appeal on the beach in Malibu. The more she preens, the thirstier I get. Though that desire is hardly for water, that's a useless substance in the face of tanned hot skin, of which Constance appears to have more than plenty to go around.

I'm not exactly sure why you need dozens and dozens of half-nekkid photoshoots to promote your bottled water. I'm quite sure even the big boys only do a couple of those a year. But if seeing ridiculously hot women like Constance Nunes flaunting their bodies is what it takes to sell a four pack, who am I to argue? Enjoy.

Bella Thorne All Grow’d Up and Sassy for Bullett

Bella Thorne is really starting to feel her oats, which is I think the female version of sewing your oats, though I could be wrong. She's featured all kinds of sassy and starting to get Jenner-like grown up in Bullett magazine, displaying some of her more 'it' girl qualities that will ultimately put her in the Miley and Selena categories of successful Disney graduates at some time in the near future.

The Thorne family have been trying through multiple offspring iterations to hit it big in Hollywood. Based on not only her blossoming film and TV career, but her blossoming before the cameras in increasingly sophisticated looks, I'd have to say they finally made their mark with Bella. Good for them, and for us. Enjoy.

Erin Andrews Is All Cleavage While Playing Volleyball in LA

Sportscaster Erin Andrews played some sports of her own in a cleavetastic game of beach volleyball. The sexy journalist wore a low cut top that showed off her volleyballs with every serve and spike. Erin's ladies are a well loved staple of the sports world. Maybe it's because most sportscasters look like John Madden. Her champions look amazing and glistening with sweat in these pictures. I don't often use the word glistening, but that's what they are doing. I'm not sure who invented the game of beach volleyball but they deserve some kind of Nobel prize. It takes a fairly boring game when played indoors and makes it awesome by putting it on a beach and making people wear bikinis and sports clothes to play it. It's so hot they even made it an Olympic event.

I love Erin Andrews. I'm not even that in to sports and I watch the post-game show just to see her. I hope she gets into an intramural beach volleyball team this summer.