Doutzen Kroes Bends Over in a Perfectly Fitting Swimsuit

Doutzen Kroes in a swimsuit is a thing. Doutzen Kroes bending over forward and back in the same swimsuit, that’s a big thing. This perfect piece of Victoria’s Secret modeling sextastic looks spectacular in any old bit of rag, but linger or swimsuits are where she makes her bones, not to mention those of many a gentleman ogler along the beach. A few years back Doutzen quietly slipped from hottie into MILFtastic land without missing a single beat or hint of visual wonderment. Her amazing body and alluring looks and a booty that simply is small and powerful adds up to a whole greater than any sum of its parts. I’m sure she’s here mostly to play with her kids. But they had their turn on her teat. How about stepping aside you selfish creatures and letting some of us beseechers have a go. Your mommy belongs to the world. Someday you’ll understand. Enjoy. Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Bethenny Frankel Bikini Pictures Reveal the Nipples of a Mom Who Keeps Herself in Playing Shape

As always, I will grant you, there are certain parts of Bethenny Frankel that clearly did not come with the original purchase. That being said, let she who is without upgrade cast the first scalpel. There’s still the fine art of staying in shape and buying bikinis to small for your Funions, and being willing to show off your team made body for all the boys on the beach to inch one step closer to manhood. Lots of moving parts, and some just jiggling or poking.

Bethenny Frankel took her skinny forty-something mom in bikini routine to Miami Beach and appeared to either be excited by the prospects or experiencing a case of the cold water on headlights because her nipples were poking right through her bikini top. I’m pretty sure they’re designed to avoid such a visual display, but nipple don’t exist to be tamed. Certainly not these swollen wonders. Bethenny, maybe lay off the Midtown Manhattan doctor visits for a while, but please keep up the bikini work. Between me and your high beams, we definitely need this. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Rumer Willis See Through Bootysuit For DWTS

Look, I’m not too big a man to admit their aren’t certain parts of ballroom dancing that can appeal to the Egotastic male. Such as the costumery on some of the more booty ripe and worked out female celebrities and dancers. Even Rumer Willis got into the action with her see-through sequin number that showed off her two powerful cheeks of dancing goodness and a body that certainly looks like she hit the gym with prior to her dance show application.

Everybody knows dancers have great bodies, lean and flexible and strong. It’s just the dancing part I have trouble with. Call me jaded, but if she’s not on the main stage or the side stage or delivering a platter full of overpriced Heineken’s, I just don’t see the beauty in the art form so much. Nevertheless, I do know a thing or two about sweet celebrity booty cheeks and Rumer Willis definitely has herself a pert pair. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

More Hailee Steinfeld Sleek Modeling Hotness

Just when you fall in lust with now 18-year old Hailee Steinfeld photos from Dani Brubaker, along come some more from the set even more sextastic than the previous. Life is like that sometimes. Like a box of chocolates if you really wanted to do some naughty things with your box of chocolates.

Hailee Steinfeld is one of those girls we’re going to see getting all grow’d up in photos and onscreen. Her future is bright talent wise, and as she matures into a woman who can carry off these kinds of alluring shoots with even greater knowing appeal, she should start booking better and bigger gigs. This like seeing the bean sprout before it grows into whatever bean sprouts grow into. I really am feeling blessed. Hailee Steinfeld, I’ve got my eyes on you. Feel the burn. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Dani Brubaker

Kaley Cuoco, Iggy Azalea And Willow Shields Bare Midriffs At The Kids’ Choice Awards 2015

I’ll be the first to admit I might just be a tad past the demographic for the Kids’ Choice Awards on Nickelodeon. My idea of sliming a beautiful woman is well past the mature audience range for what the kids are expecting when they watch that show. Nevertheless, the annual event does bring out some serious Hollywood hotties even if they are compelled to dress rather G-rated for the event, that doesn’t mean they can’t flash a little bit of heavenly midriff and legs and such (funbags ever on mostly hidden status).

When ladies such as Kaley Cuoco and Iggy Azalea and Willow Shields and other members of young sextastic Celebrityville start showing up on your red carpet, please invite me over as well. It’s good to see the next generation of outstandingly hot women are well on their way to filling our future vaults. Some stupid awards were given out, but the real prize was taken home once again by the gentleman oglers, who got an eyeful, sans slime. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Lada Kravchenko Booty Cheek Peeks In See Through Lingerie

Let me see, hot blowing up Russian model in see-through lingerie. Yep, that’ll inspire a man to build a cabin or become a world leader, perhaps drop that final five pounds doing power aerobics class at the gym next to that other guy in those nylon shorts. The power of beautiful women to motivate the less fair gender is nothing short of remarkable. Right now, Lada Kravchenko mostly makes me want to chew on a piece of leather so I don’t bite my tongue.

The young Moscow native turning international photographer favorite shot ever so effortlessly, but sextastic crazy in this Erik Tranberg shoot for Satiety Paper. Every time I see a fine female form thusly and booty hot in lingerie, I’m reminded why lingerie was invented in the first place. I know, women want to feel like women. But there are many a man who also want to feel women. Wait, that came out exactly right. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Erik Tranberg For Satiety Paper

Alessandra Ambrosio Super Legs Super Hot For a Party I Never Got Invited To

Ah, Alessandra Ambrosio. A day in which you don’t come across my desk at Egotastic headquarters is like a day without sunshine. Alessandra is probably in my top three favorite professional hot people. In these pics, she was spotted at a birthday party wearing a very short dress. Like, just south of her hoo-ha short. The result was that you could see a lot of those long silky legs of hers. I wouldn’t mind having those bad boys wrapped around me in the morning. Or evening. Really anytime of the day or night. We talk a lot about thumpers and funbags here on the site and rightly so. But a woman’s legs are a feature that rarely gets mentioned on other lesser sites. But we know what’s up here.

Alessandra just gave me the best birthday present by showing off those legs. Not that it’s my birthday but it feels like it is thanks to these pics.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews