About Egotastic!

Goodbye 2012 and Hello 2013; This Year Was Amazing, Next Will Be So Much Better!

By Bill Swift | December 31, 2012 @ 12:28 pm

It seems like most of us survived the dreaded Mayan Apocalypse, the 64 out of 78 supremely boring sports at the Summer Olympics, and now even news that Kim Kardashian is spawning. We've faced these obstacles and we've come through with our love of supremely sextastic women fully intact.

In this past year, you guys (and our fairer gender readers who we adore) visited our little site here over 235 million times and looked at nearly 3 billion pages of utter goodness. That's a truly staggering figure, even to this dreamer who just a few years ago believed that in 2012 he'd be knocking boots with a Victoria's Secret angel in the backseat of his flying car.

None of this happens without you. And, oh the things we have in the works for 2013. Much more original video, high functioning mobile access, easier and easier galleries, brand new faces and amazing bodies, many more ways for you to express yourself, contribute,  vote, and comment on the site, and, just imagine which naughty celebrity cell phone sex tape shows up next!

Do your unspeakably shameful deeds tonight on New Year's Eve. Unleash your inner lust-filled demons. Drink Jager like you promised yourself you'd never ever do again. Then, wake up tomorrow and come back for a whole new year of visual treats.

Happy New Year from All Your Friends at Egotastic!

Merry Christmas From Your Friends At Egotastic!

By Bill Swift | December 25, 2012 @ 10:11 am

(Photo credit: Miranda Kerr, Santa's Hottie Little Helper)

You know the story of the Three Wise Men, but what about the not so clever fourth dude who lost his path and had to bum a ride from some anti-establishment runaway teenaged girls and you don't hear too much about in song or story. Well, he found a mission seeking out a different kind of peace on Earth, in fact, several pieces of the best looking and most sextastic celebrities on the face of this blue planet, and it's a mission for which everyday he is grateful.

This Christmas season, we are ever reminded that this entire whiz-bang shebang of an online enterprise only works because of the generosity of all of you in giving us so much of your time. Granted, some of that is your boss' time, but we're willing to look the other way on that if you are. We are very good at keeping secrets.

Merry Christmas from your friends at Egotastic!

Design Changes Coming to Egotastic! Don’t Wet Yourself, Unless You Like That Kind of Thing

By Bill Swift | December 17, 2012 @ 11:18 pm

We've been around for a few years now, and while we are the kind of guys who still have the same posters up on our wall since high school (love ya, cast of 7th Heaven), we know that you are a tad bit more progressive and we can't keep using the same damn blog roll we've had since our founding days.

So, we're upgrading. It's nothing crazy dramatic, but it will be more of a magazine style format that will let you pick and choose content easily as opposed to having to scroll through the blog roll story by story, and also provide you many more stories on the first homepage itself, so you don't have to click through multiple pages to see tons of daily fresh content.

At the same time, in phases, we'll be rolling out navigation upgrades. Some you may have seen already, like the ability to 'slide' through photos in the photo galleries now with your left or right arrow keys without the page reloading for each photo (much faster!). In the next month we'll also have a 'responsive' site for mobile and tablets that will automatically scale the website for you depending on the width of the browser you're using, and we'll be adding a dedicated video page that will allow you to view videos in a wide screen format with related video options. And, there's more, but until I can afford to pay the bills for the rest of it, I don't want to jinx it.

What will not be changing? While we are constantly adding content, there will be ZERO reduction in the number of hot sextastic and showy photos of your favorite female celebrities you know and love. Egotastic! will remain the only uncensored celebrity entertainment site on the web. The celebrity boobies will never go away!  

Over the next few days, maybe a week or so, we'll be testing out the new homepage design on a certain percentage of visitors. You may or may not see the new homepage. If you do, and you have strong feelings one way or another, good or bad, erect or nauseous sobs, please send us your thoughts to 'DESIGN FEEDBACK' under the Contact Us form. The more constructive the comments the more it helps our team of pasty-white socially awkward nerds in finding solutions. Thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving from Egotastic!

By Bill Swift | November 22, 2012 @ 12:32 pm

Three things that are guaranteed to happen here today (1) I'm going to lose bets on all three football games, (2) I will drink way too much of the whiskey-spiked cider and end up making out with my third-cousin Hailey (she's cute, but not cute enough for the incestual guilt, if you know what I'm saying), and (3) I'll be rushing one of the uncles to the emergency room with a knife in his thigh and a cover story the entire family has agreed upon won't draw police attention.

How's your Thanksgiving going?

On this day of gratitude, I'd like to thank all of our readers, in every nook and cranny of this increasingly small world, for your unwavering support throughout the year. Without all of you, Egotastic! does not exist, and I would have to beg for my job back in the Macy's women's shoe department. Dear God, please do not let that happen.

As I implore you every year at this time, remember to hug the ones you like, kiss the ones you love, and think of something especially naughty involving unsaturated cooking oil with the ones you lust. Enjoy.

What Hottie Are You Thankful For? Tell Us and Win Some Shopping Cash!

By Bill Swift | November 20, 2012 @ 9:15 am

My time runs short around Thanksgiving as I spend heavy volunteer hours around the Home for Wayward Teenaged Girls preparing the holiday meal of turkey, stuffing, and tightly-woven tales of how I would be a loving daddy if only given the chance. As such, I need your help to help me pick out the celebrity hotties we'll be featuring on Thanksgiving Day here on Egotastic!. And, yes, I know you, you want to get paid for it.

Visit the Egotastic! Facebook Page and tell us the name of the sextastic celeb from our site you're most thankful for this year and no more than 10 words on why she floats your gravy boat. We'll pick the six most moving appeals and feature your belusted lady on the site on Thursday in your honor (first names only, natch, to fool the Mrs.). And to the most moving ogler, we'll send $100 Amazon Gift card to kick off your holiday shopping.

Do this now. It's your real job!

A Thank You, From Your Friends at Egotastic!

By Bill Swift | September 19, 2012 @ 11:06 pm

Egotastic! has grown and then some in the past few years, to the largest site of its kind on the web, and it's all thanks to you. I mean, yeah, we whip up the buffet of treats, but it's you all who come with those big empty Dixie plates looking to load up on everything men (and our Sapphic leaning lady friends) love and lust that makes this whole shit cooker, well, cook away.

In the past 30 days, we reached a brand new milestone with 250,000,000 pages viewed by more than 11 million of you individually unique ogling readers, the best educated entertainment site readers on the web according to actual scientific type survey. It's really insane to contemplate. But not so insane that we don't plan to keep doing what we've been doing, plus way way more. Because, dammit, the thought of you having to go back to playing Solitaire to waste your time at work actually kills us. Boobs are so much better. Enjoy.

(P.S., You know we never learned business well enough to ever ask for your hard earned cash, but if you're feeling magnanimous about all your happy times here on Egotastic!, we'd encourage you to make a charitable donation to Fisher House Foundation, which provides accommodations for family members of injured veterans during those veterans' hospitalizations for illness and medical treatment. It's a top-notch, top-rated charity, and its cause is mighty grand. Thank you.)

Resident Evil 6 to Have ‘The Most Disturbing and Frightening Ad Campaign Ever’

By Travis Shuman | September 4, 2012 @ 6:29 am
Resident Evil 6 Ad Campaign

It seems as though Capcom's latest entry into the Resident Evil series has been experiencing a roller coaster ride of fan reaction since it was originally announced back at the start of 2012. We've seen several screenshots and trailers now and the reaction from fans seems to change with each new piece of media that surfaces. However, roughly a month away from it's North American release, Resident Evil 6 seems to be sitting in a pretty good spot...minus that whole 'accident early release over seas' thing.

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