While Our Contact Form and Stars Are Broken….


You can reach me and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in my bedroom at AskBillSwift(at)gmail.com. Please don’t pass that around to your dummy friends. You know who I’m talking about. Jason Statham. I’m drinking your milkshake.

Also,  until we can fix this full-sized star issue on the full-size photos, there will be no stars on any photos! That’s how I roll. I’m not vanilla. I’m chocolate, with nuts, and sprinkles. All or nothing. You must have your bare funbags or else we’d be less special. And you would be more sad. Thanks!


SITE NEWS: We’re Bulging and Need More Space


We’re growing something fierce here on Egotastic and every now and then we need more room. Kind of like when you live in a tiny apartment and you eat lots of salted snack foods and one day you realize you need a bigger place. We’re moving onto bigger servers. This will take anywhere up to about the next 24 hours. Meaning, you won’t see any new content posted, but you will still have access to oh, about 9.8 years worth of every goody goody lady gumdrop ever in Tinsel Town.

This message will self-destruct when we’re back live. Now, I’m off to work on my Skee-Ball game. Be back soon with a stuffed animal and four bubble blowers.


Happy New Year 2015!


As Father Time, a gentleman ogler of rather extraordinary reputation, turns the hour glass to yet another year, I’m reminded of my abiding faith in the forever run for the sextastic ladies who make life worth living. As time marches on, we enter greater and greater portals of the prurient man’s dreams.

2014 was amazing. Thousands and thousands of wicked hot visual wonderments of our favorite leading ladies and their submissive sisters. 2015 is only going to be better. This is the covenant of Egotastic. There will be many changes in the year ahead, so many that I’m super geeked about like I haven’t been in some time. But what forever abides is an alluring woman with a outrageously hot body and a desire to make the world that much of a happier place.

Happy New Year!

Your friend in deed, Bill Swift

Elizabeth Hurley and I Remain on Holiday


As you may have read in the trades, the entire of Tinsel Town remains shut down for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I myself have tied a slightly inebriated Elizabeth Hurley and myself to the same bed posts in my Red Roof Inn suite for the long weekend, waiting until she’s completely sober and able to give her European Union consent to all kinds of ideas I have surrounding the repurposing of gravy leftovers.

We’ll be back again after the holidays when everybody is back to their senses and this town has once again awoken in skintastic splendor. For the few of you stuck working today, please do use our search bar with some of your favorite celebrity names or keywords. I think you’ll find perusing our library of several hundred thousand images to be far more exciting than those TPS reports. Enjoy your holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving, From Your Friends at Egotastic!


On this day of thanks, I’d like to give a wide-ranging personal shoutout to the men and women and obviously some precocious children who visit Egotastic! on a regular, semi-regular, or minute by minute through the day and night basis. You are what makes this site work. Your willingness to take several minutes out of your day to leer at amazing looking mostly naked women is a sacrifice that doesn’t get lauded enough. Never have so many done so much for so little.

Unlike all the sites that juice their numbers or buy virtual traffic from remote Pacific Islands where apparently one hundred million Internet users reside, we live entirely off real live warm bodies from around the four corners of the globe. Intelligent beings with a thirst for things that make you thirstier. You’ll never know how much I appreciate this, but I hope you have some inkling. It’s what keeps me going.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Breast Cancer Awareness Month, For the Love of the Women We Love

As you may know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Not that every month shouldn’t be, but in October we especially give attention to the plague, plight, and all around horribleness of a disease that affects our girlfriends, wives, sisters, daughters, mothers, and even those aunts who always sent us socks for Christmas. And for our Sapphic leaning lovely lady readers, this affliction might even be more personal.

As gentlemen oglers and lovers of all things breast, we have an especially strong interest in promoting healthy female bodies, encouraging women we know to be tested early and regularly, and to help support charitable organizations that fund breast cancer research, prevention, and treatment.


The one thing all ten million of us who visit this site each month share in common is the love of women, head to toe. The greatest act of chivalry you may ever achieve is helping a woman prevent or overcome this rampantly widespread cancer. Imagine how awesome that would be on your knightly resume. Enjoy.

What’s Going on, Egotastic?

Funny you should ask. We’ve been experiencing a bit of a Three Mile Island meets suspension bridge designed by toddlers kind of meltdown here. It’s mostly related to having hardware built around the turn of the century. Not the most recent one. We’re working diligently to fix it. Not me, obviously, but people far less lazy than me. You’ll probably see occasional ups and downs until it’s stable. Also, the boobs won’t flow quite as prodigiously for just a little while. When we’re back to full speed, I’ll be sure everybody gets their proper fill. Thanks for your patience.