jhanson - February 8, 2017
Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli appeared on Dr Phil with her mom, so you know they're both complete trash. The title of the episode was "I Want To Give Up My Car-Stealing, Knife-Wielding, Twerking 13-Year-Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime." That's interesting, because we all want to shoot your mom in the head before she has another one of you. Bregoli made a complete ass of herself on the show, as old fat ladies were literally laughing out loud at her over the top ghetto accent.
This led to a widely distributed Internet meme of Bregoli asking an audience member to take things outside, but instead of Catch me Outside, she said something like "Cash me Ousside." She thinks she's really hot shit, but she's going to have to wait about four years to start fucking black guys and by then she will probably look really beat. You've got a shot at Tyga right now, swing for the infield.
Bregoli latched onto her Internet fame and promptly produced a comedic short featuring her catch phrase for her Instagram page which now has 3.2 million followers, mostly pedophiles and horrified fathers who are part of a Scared Straight program. She has also teamed up with that awful hipster clothing line that makes Miley Cyrus' stupid pizza onesie to produce a line of merchandise, including T-shirts, hoodies, a ceramic plate, and a rug. She has no idea these people are making fun of her, and it really doesn't even matter anymore.
Bregoli is set to make another appearance on Dr Phil, who has the ethical scruples of the guys who produce that Asian Street Meat series on YouPorn. He'll sit there and act bewildered, probably unaware that anti-intellectual hacks like himself have degraded our culture to the point that this chick is a reality. Like she gives a shit, she'll get to promote her shirts. TV is a dying medium. Hopefully so are fake doctors.
While filming the last episode of Dr Phil, Bregoli reportedly stole one of the producer's cars. That story sounds like absolute bullshit. We get it, you're creating a little wiggery female reality show Damien who's thirteen and could trick you after twelve beers. She recently got into a fist fight on an airplane and kind of punched a lady. She's taking all of this Dr Phil shit to heart.
Fuck it, we need cheap entertainment and everyone loves a train wreck. I'd say invest the money from the shirts but what's the point. Go back to the trailer park, do some time in teen lockup, pop back up, say remember me, nobody will, you lose your teeth and get on with your life and we'll do the same. If you get a wild hare of your ass, think about luring Dr Phil into a hotel suite for sex and then killing him. That would be hilarious.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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