Sam Robeson - December 14, 2018
Walking and wheezing carton of unfiltered Parliament cigarettes* Lindsay Lohan stars in an upcoming MTV reality series based on her life of getting railed by sex traffickers on yachts, called Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club. (It's actually about the daily goings on of her Beach Club location in Mykonos, Greece, but the sex trafficker yacht railing is implied.)
We now have an extended peek at what the poor man's Vanderpump Rules will entail, and it looks like it's about nothing. Yet everything. Stupid. Yet genius. JK it's about nothing and also stupid. We first see some paparazzi footage from Lohan's troubled past, endearing us to her, and allowing us to understand how she ended up being a sex worker in Greece. You can then practically smell the wet cigarette bikini juice when Lohan introduces us to her new life as a bar owner. Then we hear from the employees. They are also elegant. If you like train wrecks, except for instead of train wrecks, just mountains of cigarettes and blow, then Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club is your show.
*It has come to my attention that unfiltered Parliament cigarettes do not exist. Well go to hell and let me live.
Photo Credit: YouTube