elliot-wolf - April 23, 2018
Carrie Underwood is famous for making misandry into a sing-along melody. Maybe her lover wasn’t unfaithful and the blonde woman at the bar in Before He Cheats forgot her purse to pay for her drink. Obviously he was just being a gentleman. Insecurity that leads to destruction of property is very relatable, and so is falling down the stairs in front of your home for everyone that’s over the age of 65. If clumsy Carrie is smart she’ll be making a hit single about that soon and tour every group home in America. Add Life Alert to the list of sponsors she should make a killing. I need to see the set of woman hating stairs that Carrie slipped and fell down. Obviously they were designed by the patriarchy as she required surgery and more than a few stitches.
Carrie Underwood is opening up for the first time about her frightening fall. Shortly after cohosting the CMAs in November, the American Idol winner, 35, fell from the front stairs of her Nashville home — sending her to the hospital with a broken wrist that necessitated surgery, and cuts to her face that required more than 40 stitches.
“I was taking the dogs out to go pee one last time, and I just — I tripped,” she said. “There was one step, and I didn’t let go of the leashes! Priorities! So that’s why my left hand’s fine. But I went to catch myself and I just missed a step.” Underwood broke her right wrist and injured her face around her mouth, with the scars slightly visible during the interview.
Carrie is only 35-years-old so the only excuse anyone that age has to fall down stairs so bad that it breaks your wrist is from either being piss drunk or wearing a new pair of Uggs on unforeseen ice. I’m going to assume since Carrie has money she doesn’t live in an area of Nashville where the temperature drops too far below 65 degrees. This leaves late night binge drinking Jack Daniels as the only explanation. Almost every country song ever is inspired by borderline alcoholism and whiskey abuse. She may have gotten too cocky attempting to walk the family cocker spaniel in Honky Tonk town after finding sorrow and her new hit single at the bottom of the bottle. Thank God she didn’t let the leash go as the only thing worse than the embarrassment of face planting after missing a step is being injured, inebriated, and also in search of your doggo and puppers in the dark.
Photo Credit: Instagram/Splash News
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