Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Pictures Sextastic in Black

During one of my many epic fails to get to second base in high school, I went out with a girl from the computer programming club who I was assured by an unreliable source was secretly naughty, especially so for a girl with a retainer so late into her teen years. We got to fooling around at a really crappy high school party and I got her her shirt up to reveal a black bra, which she informed me meant that she was feeling 'mysterious'. For the next fifteen minutes, I struggled to get that mysterious bra off of her body to no avail. She said she couldn't help me because that would be cheating. Damn you, computer programming club girls!

In her latest and greatest catalog pictorial for Victoria's Secret, Candice Swanepoel goes all black, not for mysteriousness, but for exultation of her fine female form. It truly is a heavenly body, a rainbow of the sextastic even in black. I have a feeling Candice would help me unclasp in a moment of passion. She could probably do it with some hot snap of her fingers too.

I'm never going to learn how to unhook a bra, but I'm never going to stop trying to learn. Enjoy.