Candice Swanepoel Ignites The Flames of Righteous Passion (VIDEO)

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I used to worry about my most adored sextastic celebrities becoming pregnant and somehow taken off the visual display market. Now I realize the error of my ways, how I let my juvenile tendencies get the better of me, and appreciate the miracle of childbirth. Followed only by the bigger miracle that would be me making babies with Candice Swanepoel myself.

Alack and alas, perhaps my fate is never to impregnate an uber-hot Victoria's Secret model. That doesn't mean I can't fashion tribute videos and intermittently cry and have erections. TMI? Just a guess. Candice, you've been one of my super top wonderment performers for so long now, I almost feel like we're BFFs. How do I transition that to FWBs? I will literally do anything short of hurting puppies or babies. Enjoy.