Lex Jurgen - October 29, 2014
After an exhaustive number of attempts, the omnicidal maniacs at this sham bottled water company have finally stumbled upon precisely the winning formula for simple mastery of the human race. Tits. I don't even know who this chick is and I want to do whatever the hell she asks. From watering her house plants to disappearing that bitch at work who keeps stealing her erasers, I'm down. Don't think I'd stop short of going Taylor on the nuclear bomb ignition switch if she told me fission made her horny.
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