Brooklyn Decker Sextastic In The Woods Return

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bill-swift - April 21, 2017

Brooklyn Decker sighting. I repeat, Brooklyn Decker sighting. Where have you been all my life or the last couple or three years of it, my dearest statuesque blonde? Now you see why I worry so much when our sextastic celebrities and all around passion inducing tall models get married and start making babies. There's always this chance they will go into seclusion, reclusion, or retirement for a period of time. Let alone -- forever. Yikes.

Brooklyn Decker once cranked out fine female faptastic form photos like nobody's business. Then it suddenly stopped. I stood a better chance of survival if my heart had stopped versus those luscious lean and lovely photos of the swimsuit and hotness model fading into the ether. I'm not sure if this is an official return or we'll see more of Brooklyn in the near future, but this pimping clothing line advertisement is certainly a tease. Talk about memories of super fine mammaries. Brooklyn, seriously, think about others. More specifically, think about me. I'm not calling you selfish, but to prove otherwise, I'm going to need to see your bare funbags. I don't make the rules, I merely enforce them rigidly. Enjoy.


Photo Credit: Shayna Fontana