Britney Spears All Legs At The 4th Hollywood Beauty Awards

It has been awhile since I saw a woman whose face so perfectly exhibited the dead inside look. The last time was when I was looking through the photographs from my high school graduation. My mother’s eyes said it all: I gave up my youth for this? Well, don’t worry, Ma. I’m working real hard at giving you a legacy to keep hidden from your friends. Actually, I’m not working that hard, but it is at more than a leisurely pace.

How many squats does a girl need to do in order to get the gams that Britney is putting on display? It feels odd envying a woman’s body part, but I actually do. My chicken legs are not even capable of doing a pistol squat, and it looks like Britney is Desert Eagle squats. Do you have any idea how emasculating it feels to avoid following a woman at the squat rack because you know you’ll have to take off a couple plates?

Well, it’s not very emasculating for me anymore since I’ve made peace with my lot in life, but for another man it could be devastating. To anyone out there who knows that struggle, just know that you are not alone.

Photo Credit: Splash News