Billionaire Barbie Pimps Her New Reality, Or Is It the Same Old Reality

"I'm turning 30 this year, and it has made me think it might be time to say goodbye to Paris the party girl and hello to Paris the grown-up. And maybe hello Paris the wife and mom"

-- Opening voiceover from 'The World According to Paris'

Egad! Billionaire Barbie has been short-skirting and leggy-flirting around the major TV talk shows this week, promoting her new Oxygen Channel (which, up until today, I admit, I thought was the name of an Australian emo band) TV show, The World According to Paris, which features the heiress doing all sorts of things you could care less about, because really unless she's got the meerkat night eyes working the nekkid-end of an amateur sex tape again, you're probably not tuning in. Still, I give the all grow'd up blonde party girl credit for wanting to document her daily existence for posterity, and her posterior, before it starts to droop and club promoters stop paying her to shake it at their openings.

I actually really liked The Simple Life. I'm not a hater. But if somebody impregnates this woman, well, you're in for a rough lifelong commitment (and, no, I don't mean just with herpes). Enjoy.