Michael Garcia - August 24, 2016
You know when you accidentally shoot your friend and blame it on being spooked by a Bigfoot? No. Well, then you aren't an Okey douchenozzle named Omar Pineda. It seems that this lying liar was out hunting with a friend when he accidentally shot him. Well, that's an accident, right? No problem. It becomes a crime when you lie to the cops about what happened. Omar told the cops that he was startled by a barking noise that he thought was a Bigfoot. It, of course, turned out to be B.S. His girlfriend and father were also arrested for trying to hide the evidence. The problem is that his alibi makes no sense.
First of all, there are no Bigfeet in Oklahoma. Sasquatches live in dense forests where they can walk through heavy foliage while being photographed. Oklahoma's wide expanses are less than ideal conditions. You could see a Bigfoot from three miles away on those plains. The other problem is that Bigfeet don't bark. Dogs bark. I mean for F's sake, how stupid is that guy? Everyone knows that Bigfeet make a rarring Chewbacca-like noise. If you are going to blame your drunken mistakes on mythological creatures you've got to pick the right one. Like a basilisk.
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