Beware of Sinister Monkish Chanting as ‘Thief’ Channels the Primal; Whatever the Hell That Means (VIDEO)

Robes are always a bad sign, Garrett growls mantastically above. This is the truth, right here. After all, when sexually frustrated housewives are still wearing theirs when the plumber calls at four in the afternoon, that's a terrible low budget porn movie in the making. They can keep their jokes about large plungers and other assorted plumbing paraphernalia, because we just don't have any effs to give any more.

Then there are the similar robe-based images, of sleazy arcane rituals in someone's basement. Y'know, like the ones Thief is showcasing in this latest trailer. There's a little more story detail going on here, as we ponder just who these guys are, why they are channeling the Primal and just what this will mean for the world (spoiler: nothing good).

This reboot of the cult classic stealth series is taking us to some dark places. Dark and shadowy ones. Ones from which we can silently emerge like the ninja-y badasses we are, stab a couple of guards in the gonads and continue on our mission undetected. Because that's just how things are done around here, as you'll see --many, many times over-- when you hit play.