Sam Robeson - May 31, 2018
AIDS under a microscope Bella Thorne has redefined what it means to be a filthy Insta fleabag crack whore, and by God, it's working on me. I wouldn't touch Bella for the same reasons that I don't touch movie theater floors, but her strung out botched skank persona has won me over. She answers burning questions like "Who shops at Rainbow stores?" and "Is Crisco a viable face wash?" while also effortlessly mastering all entertainment mediums. Case in point - the new music video for her jam "Bitch I'm Bella Thorne."
Not only is listening to Thorne's voice like flying on the gossamer wings of a butterfly infected with butterfly scabies, but she supposedly directed this music video. I think the seamless integration of Snapchat-ish filters into the footage is a clever ode to her brand of celebritydom, and to be honest, it's kind of a statement that she's not wearing makeup in (some scenes) in her own video when her natural skin coloration can be recreated with a bowl of Crunch Berries. Kind of subverting paparazzi expectations of beauty. Or, or, she's a stupid bitch. JK. I love you forever Bella. Check out the video if you want to die in seven days.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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