Sam Robeson - December 3, 2017
Ragged Anne Doll Bella Thorne always manages to one-up her crazy shenanigans - creating Internet buzz and generating comments like "ew" and "I thought she was dead" - and this turn on a giant mechanical penis is no different. The twenty-year-old hypothetical actress took to Snapchat to share a video of her strung out self gyrating on a what could double as Kim Kardashian's dildo while a potential suitor sends the words of encouragement "You ain't no two pump chump" that all twenty-year-old girls should hear. Get you a man who films you straddling a mechanical penis while yelling at you.
This video marks the first time I've felt any sort of sympathy for Thorne. Any. And only the tiniest bit. By the end of the clip I feel like I'm watching the final scene in Requiem For A Dream. Thorne's enthusiasm fades and all we're left with is a whore getting prodded by a man to be more of a whore than she already is. Which is frankly very difficult in Thorne's case. Where's her pimp when she needs him? Throw in the fact that Thorne's definitely going to be date raped by her videographer friend three seconds after the video ends, and Suddenly Ariel Winter's life is like that of Kate Middleton's. This whole video is next level trashy and bleak, like seeing someone buy a pet snake from a flea market, or I guess just like watching a coked-up fading celebrity riding a mechanical penis for attention. But definitely go ahead and turn your kid into a child star. I'm sure it will go better. This is just a fluke.
Photo Credit: YouTube
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