Sam Robeson - August 5, 2017
Bella Hadid has made a name for herself in the modeling world for only giving one distinct, expressionless look during her gigs. The same look given by the limp Westworld robots when they get defiled in the exam rooms. I picture Hadid scrolling through the various emoji faces on her phone and short-circuiting from a lack of recognition. Before she finally scans over the one she can identify with. Poop pile face. Yolanda must be working with Bella on her "How do you feel today?" chart commonplace among children with bad parents, because in this new face-planting clip, we get a range of emotions unprecedented for the twenty-year-old ho bag.
My conviction that Hadid is an early prototype Japanese sex robot discarded for being just the worst is wavering after seeing her fall on her ass while leaving Cipriani in New York City. The supermodel sensation trips up on her heels (which are ironically emblazoned with the text "For Walking") before falling to her knees in front of a bunch of men. Insert penis. I mean joke.
Hadid's reactions correspond to the situation with a believability that seems downright humanoid. She laughs before embarrassingly covering her face and walking away. Other pictures from that night of Hadid arriving at Marquee nightclub depict the corners of her mouth upturned in what she identifies on her chart as a smile. If you're going to be a widely-despised celebrity destined to be remembered as a pockmark on the mid-2010's, you might as well have fun with it.
Photo Credit: Splash News, YouTube
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