Sam Robeson - June 27, 2018
Japanese sex robot to the stars Bella Hadid has been programmed by a team of specialists to make you horny, and yet even with all the tuneups (and nips and tucks) she still comes across as, oh IDK, a random bland whorey Instagram model with a D-list celeb mom? Or something like that. Hadid graces the cover of the most recent issue of Vogue Mexico, and much like her sex robot brethren, she gets the job done, but is, of no fault of her own, completely lifeless in the process. What magic fairy will turn this poor sex robot into a real girl someday?
I don't usually buy the hype surrounding the untouchable fabled supermodels of the 90's, but after watching the likes of Kate Moss, Chrissy Turlington, Claudia Shiffer, blah blah, you know the drill, in action, it's undeniable that they had something that Instagram skanks lack. That je ne sais queef. Similar to Kim Kardashian's potential crossover into law and politics, social media fame bolsters people's confidence and earns them unwarranted opportunities from star fucking kiss asses. And thus, a sandy hand bra-sporting Bella on the cover of Vogue is born. And this is no disrespect to random sluts. I love random sluts. I just think they need reminding of their job title. Which, I guess is what the comment section of Instagram is for. Gonna be a busy afternoon.
Photo Credit: Vogue / Instagram / Backgrid USA
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