Behold The Wonder Of Bikini Baristas

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bill-swift - January 28, 2016

Washington State is known for its love of coffee. It's where basic bitch watering hole Starbucks came from, after all. But that place is saturated with coffee shops. You have to do something different to stand out from the crowd. Something like, say, dress your baristas in bikinis. In a trend that is widely spreading in the state, bikini clad hot women make coffee for the good people of Washington. Often, these are drive up coffee places where you can ogle some boobage and get your coffee fix all without leaving your car. If that isn't the American dream, I don't know what is. They also have coffee places with buff dudes in nothing but banana hammocks for the ladies, (or the dudes, no judgement). That shows you it's not sexist, it's just good business sense. Now the politicians in Washington are trying to shut them down. But the people have spoken and they want their coffee served to them by a girl with pasties on her ta-tas. 

Why don't they open one of those where I live in New York City? I'll tell you why, it's because of all the rules enacted in the 90's about dressing inappropriately in establishments. It's what put the peep show out of business and it's what keeps the strippers with their bottoms on. Let's not regulate hotness. 

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