Behold Canadian Penis Satan

Vancouver is an interesting place. It's about as cool as Canada comes to cool. That's why I wasn't surprised that, of all the places in which an anatomically correct statue of Satan could appear in the Great White North, it would be Vancouver. The statue was erected (tee hee), in secret one night on a pedestal that once held up a statue of that other Satanic dick, Christopher Columbus. The statue is nine feet tall and represents the horny devil in his classic red fork-tailed form. What put a bunch of people in a tizzy was that he also sported a giant red phallus. Erect. The city promptly took it down but a petition was started to return the statue for the enjoyment of Vancouverians (Vancouverites?). The petition reads,

"By removing the statue of Penis Satan, you are taking from us our freedom of expression, restricting our sexuality, and stigmatizing our religious beliefs. Please return him immediately."

No word yet on what is going to happen to Penis Satan though a local weirdo that runs an "odditorium" has asked for it. No one took responsibility for putting Penis Satan up in the first place. Perhaps it's just one of those mysteries that will never be solved.