Behati Prinsloo Bikini Picture Goodness for Victoria’s Secret

Behati Prinsloo, thy name is sextastic. I'd like to find an outlet for my jealousy for that undeserving bastard who went and stole my Namibian dream girl and made her unholy. Not that I can't think of twenty-nine ways to reconsecrate her outrageously hot bikini body into something pure that I might once again defile in my own specific manner. Still, it burns me just a bit to think she and I aren't going away to a Swiss Alps luxury cabin this winter to lock ourselves in throes of passion until the Ricola guy comes by to ask us to keep it down.

Featured in the new Victoria's Secret bikini catalog, Behati shows exactly why her modeling career is going to last a good long time, even if she does end up making Maroon 5 babies against my better judgement. Just something about her that screams, buy my bikinis, ladies (and oddly fetish minded men) and you too will look like me. It's a gift. I'd like to help her tie a ribbon around it for Christmas. No hands required. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria's Secret