Because Kicking Ass As A Tiny 8-Bit Tom Cruise Is The Best Way To Spend Your Day

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chris-littlechild - September 23, 2016

  Now, we all know what Tom Cruise is like. He may be about three feet tall, but this mad, mad little A-list goblin has an amazing way about him. A talent for making himself seem much more terrifying than his leprechaun stature may suggest.  

Did you see him kicking ass throughout the Mission Impossible series? Did you see him recklessly jump the hell on that couch and scream like a crazy bastard on that chat show? Clearly, this is not a teeny-tiny guy to mess with. Hell to the no. You don’t want to be the movie villain who kidnaps his nearest and dearest. No sir.

Did you know it was National Punch Day on Tuesday? Because I sure didn’t get that memo. As is always the case with these stupid made up hashtag days, I don’t even know which ‘nation’ we’re talking about here. Dumbasserytopia, perhaps. Still, if this must be a thing, then Cruise and his latest character, Jack Reacher, had the perfect way to celebrate.

To promote the spangly new movie Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, Paramount Pictures dropped a snarky tie-in game. Jack Reacher: Never Stop Punching is, Morning Ticker reports, ‘an 8-bit side scroller where players pose as ex major of the United States Army Jack Reacher, whose mission is to protect the country from miscreants in the name of justice. Reacher is an unstoppable force who has nothing to lose and everything to punch.’

Sounds like an all-round good time to me. You can download yourself a copy of the game right here, and you really, really should.

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