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Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com, Tuvez.com, Egotastic.com, and WWTDD.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife and two cats.

Behold The Fondue Burger

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Look, I know that I give the Japanese a hard time for their sexual proclivities but I want to make it clear that I have nothing but the highest respect for their history and culture. I am particularity a big fan of their food. Man, I love me some raw fish on rice and tempura. That’s why I may have to take a special flight to Tokyo to try this latest offering from Burger King Japan. It’s the new beef and chicken fondue burgers. It starts out as a regular burger but then the genius starts. It comes with a thing of cheese fondue. I don’t know if you’ve ever had fondue but it is absolutely delicious. But usually when you go to a fondue restaurant they just bring you a plate of bread and fruit which is fine. But this thing combines two amazing things, burgers and cheese dipping sauce.

I’m hoping that if the Burger King fondue burger comes to America it will stand up to the fear Americans have of high falutingness. Guys in Kansas probably think fondue is some kind of gay massage. So, Burger King will have to call it dipping sauce which is far less sexy. In the meantime, I can make some fondue with that fondue set I got as a wedding present that I’ve never used and dip my burger and fries in it.

Ela Rose Covered Topless And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Ela Rose Does A 138 Water Photo Shoot

Ela Rose wears a finger bra and it is amazing. (Hollywood Tuna)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wears see-through clothes for Harper’s Bazaar. (Drunken Stepfather)

Why, yes I would like to see Toni Garrn topless in GQ. (Huffington Post)

Coco‘s boobs never cease to satisfy. (TMZ)

Mayra Suarez in a bikini is muy caliente, ese. (Popoholic)

Kate Hudson is single again, boys. (The Superficial)

A bunch of hot Victoria’s Secret models lip sync to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”. (COED)

Chelsea Leyland Bikinis on Miami Beach

DJ and professional sexy person Chelsea Leyland was spotted on Miami Beach in a teeny tiny bikini. The top could barely contain Chelsea’s copious bosoms. In other words, she was busting out in every direction. Chelsea has got herself quite a nice set of turntables, if you know what I mean, (I’m talking about her boobies in case it was unclear). But as if the good Lord wasn’t kind enough with giving her those funbags, He decided in His infinite wisdom to also bestow upon her a pretty magnificent thumper. Seriously, you don’t look at that booty you behold it. I sure would like to beholding it myself but that’s how fools get sent to jail. Look, but don’t touch.

I am not a fan of the electronic music but I would gladly schlep out to some club in the middle of the night to see her bounce up and down in the DJ booth.

Photo Credit: Splash / FameFlyNet

Kelly Bensimon in a White Hot Bikini Poolside in Miami

Real Housewife and genuine hotty Kelly Bensimon was looking seriously sexy in a white bikini in Miami. Kelly is in her forties but you wouldn’t know it from these pictures. She is the very definition of “keeping it tight”, which is no easy feat. She’s got an exemplary pair of ta-tas. If I was a woman and was in the market to get breast implants I would just plop these pictures in front of the doctor and say, “Make my sweater hams look like that”. But if I had to pick one feature about Kelly that I like most it would have to be her booty. It is firm and fully packed. She must do pilates or something because you could bounce quarters off those buns. Not that I’m advocating bouncing coins off of her. That would be a waste of money and might be painful on that gorgeous butt.

Back when I was forced to watch that Real Housewives show she was on I could at least take solace in ogling her thingies. Those were the days.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Who Is Trying To Kill The Furries?

Thousands of furries and the plushy weirdos who love them were evacuated from a Hyatt in Rosemont after an “intentional” chlorine gas attack. The fuzzy folk were there for the Midwest FurFest convention, one of the country’s largest furries conventions. There is no word on who did it but 19 people were hospitalized after the gas was detected around noon yesterday. For those of you who don’t know, furries are people who like to dress up in anthropomorphic animal costumes and pretend they are foxmen or whatever. Many, but not all, of these folks also like to…um…make love in these suits. It’s called “yiffing”. Undoubtedly, these events put a damper on any creepy animal based orgies were going to happen at that Hyatt.

The question is who is responsible for the attacks? Was it a jealous beaver angry that their beloved uniman left them for a puppygirl? It’s hard to say. Many people are turning their frightening google eyes towards the Bronies. Do they have the motive? Maybe it’s because they aren’t getting as much attention as they used to. I’ll follow this story until we know for sure who is trying to kill the furries.

Charlotte McKinney’s Underboob And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Charlotte McKinney shows off her copious underboobage. (The Superficial)

MTV’s Alex Kim wants you to have her vagina. (TMZ)

Olivia Wilde has some wicked camel toe in this bikini pic. (Drunken Stepfather)

Teresa Moore‘s nips poke through her bikini top. (Hollywood Tuna)

Emma Watson‘s boobs make my wand expecto patronum. (Popoholic)

Bar Rafaeli having a a bikini cat fight. That is all. (COED)

This is Liraz Dror and she has some big beautiful…eyes. And Boobs. (Celebslam)

Alessandra Ambrosio Doing Yoga In Santa Monica

Egotastic favorite Alessandra Ambrosio was spotted doing some yoga stretches in the park in Santa Monica. She was sporting some tight workout clothes that showed off those legendary curves. Oh yes, there is some serious downward facing camel toe in these pics. Her ta-tas also looked incredible in her sports bra and tank top. I appreciate the deep stretching and bending over of yoga but I do miss the boobies bouncing action of aerobics. I would totally go to a yoga class if they had people like Alessandra in them. That’s more of an incentive for me than gaining enlightenment or whatever. To me, Nirvana is a dangling pair of swinging bosoms.

Alessandra is hot no matter what she’s wearing. Last week she had on a two million dollar bra at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and today she’s in yoga pants and it’s just as sexy. She’s quite simply one of the hottest humans ever to bend over in a Southern California park.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet / GSI