JackWebsite

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

Paris Hilton In Bondage Gear And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Paris Hilton wears a bondage thing and it is hot, yo. (Drunken Stepfather)

Nina Agdal should just be in underwear all the time. (Hollywood Tuna)

Hillary Duff shows off her stuff in see-through shirt at a movie premiere. (Huffington Post)

Britney Spears is surrounded by chicks in lingerie. (The Superficial)

In honor of Rosh Hashanah here are some of the hottest Hebrews. (COED)

Charlotte McKinney motorboats a guy on Tosh.0 and it is wonderful. (Busted Coverage)

Vanessa Hudgens is seriously cleavtacular. (Popoholic)

Che Guevara Perfume?

Celebrity endorsed perfume is nothing new. Everyone from Paris Hilton to Liz Taylor have had perfumes that smell like a florid whorehouse. But it is rarer for a scent to be named for a socialist guerrilla. A Cuban firm has released a cologne called Ernesto, which is inspired by the controversial Argentine revolutionary. The smell is described as "A woodsy and refreshing citric scent with notes of talcum powder". I don't think that's what Che smelled like. I imagine he smelled like BO and Marxism. I mean, he was up in those mountains for months with rare baths. My family is Cuban and were familiar with some of the revolutionary figures. My aunt went to law school with Fidel and said his dorm room was disgusting.

The same company also created a cologne called Hugo that is inspired by the late Venezuelan leader and cartoon character Hugo Chavez. That one is fruitier...there is a surprise. It's no surprise that Che is being used to sell products. I've been to Cuba and they've slapped Che Guevara on everything from t-shirts to jewelry. It's ironic that a rabid communist would be used in a capitalist enterprise as hocking a perfume. I suppose that people can't control what happens to their memory after their deaths. The Cuban government encourages this kind of hero worship of Guevara. After all, it's part of the complex mythological complex they've built up to replace religion. I'm kind of curious about this cologne. Maybe I'll have my cousin send me some.

Daphne Joy Flashes Major Cleavage at a Club in Las Vegas

The spectacularly boobtacular Daphne Joy filled us all with...er...joy when she left her funbags half hanging out of her dress at a club in Las Vegas. She was wearing a gold dress that could barely contain her ginormous ta-tas. Seriously, talk about contents under pressure. Oh, the sweet cleav, my friends. It was a sight to behold and how I would like to be holding them. See what I did there? Daphne has a teeny tiny waist which only makes her incredibly large yum yums look even bigger. Also the dress was super tight. Like, I don't know how she got in it and stuffed her chi-chis in them tight.

I guess it's one of those mysterious woman things like why they always go to the bathroom together or how they can take their bras off without removing their shirts. That's some wizard crap right there.

Lady Gaga Booty in a Thong Outfit Performing at the Ziggo Dome

The wonderfully weird and sexy Lady Gaga didn't disappoint in a leather bustier outfit at a concert at the Ziggo Dome in Amsterdam. Gaga wore a shiny leather bodysuit with several holes cut out of it and fishnet stockings. But the real news is the thong she was sporting. Gaga has one of the great booties in the entertainment business. She's in great shape so it is nice and toned but it's also shapely and round. This is due in no small part to her Italian heritage. What I like about Lady Gaga is the fact that she is often scantily clad. That is when she isn't dressed like an ambisexual alien or wearing a dress made of meat or whatever. It's part of her schtick to shock and that often involves nudity. It's not shocking to me or to you, my friends, but it is very sexy.

I've been meaning to catch one of her shows to see her partially nude in person. I'm sure it's quite an experience. Maybe I'll dress up as a fat version of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust.

Selena Gomez’s Sexy Cleav And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Check out Selena Gomez's unbelievable cleaviness. (Drunken Stepfather)

Alyssa Barbara rolls around in her underwear on a couch (Hollywood Tuna)

A celebration of Miranda Kerr's butt is my kind of party. (The Chive)

Jasmine Tookes looks sexy as F in various bikinis. (Popoholic)

Megan Irwin doesn't need to cover up to change. (WWTDD)

Former Miss Teen South Carolina Caite Upton is almost as sexy as the other Kate Upton. (COED)

Meet Denisa Dvorakova and her amazing funbags in underwear. (Celebslam)

The Satanic Children’s Big Book Of Activities

When I was a kid I loved doing color and activity books. Usually, I would prefer books based on sci-fi movies like Star Wars and Star Trek, etc. They are a fun and creative way to funnel your energies. But, because adults are pains in the ass, they sometimes force their ideologies into your coloring. I often was forced to do Bible puzzles and color in Jesus and whatnot by my parents. These kinds of religious activity books are allowed to be distributed in schools in Orange County, Florida. Church groups fall over themselves to hand out little comics and coloring books talking about Jebus to the kiddies. But, because we live in America, all forms of thought are welcome to also bring their ideologies to the kids. Hence the Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities.

The Satanic Temple is behind the coloring and activity book that teaches the young'ins about the ways of the cloven hoofed Lord of Darkness. It's only fair. Why shouldn't the Left-Hand Path be represented if kids can hear about Jesus? The book has puzzles, crosswords, and coloring pages with a Satanic bent. A Satanic Temple spokesman says,

"If a public school board is going to allow religious pamphlets and full Bibles to be distributed to students -- as is the case in Orange County, Florida -- we think the responsible thing to do is to ensure that these students are given access to a variety of differing religious opinions, as opposed to standing idly by while one religious voice dominates the discourse and delivers propaganda to youth. I am quite certain that all of the children in these Florida schools are already aware of the Christian religion and it’s Bible, and this might be the first exposure these children have to the actual practice of Satanism. We think many students will be very curious to see what we offer."

Get it for your kids here.

Cara Delevingne Is Downright Sultry In Allure Magazine

Everyone's favorite girl-on-girl temptress and professional hot person Cara Delevingne is looking hot as F in this photoshoot for Allure Magazine's October issue. Cara is an incredibly sexy woman, hence why she is like cat nip for curious girls like Michelle Rodriguez. She looks amazing in these pics, even the weird arty ones. But the real news is the two pics in which she is totally nekkid. It's just some chains or whatever and her in the buff. She's covered up the best bits but you still get the idea. Cara is thin, but not scary model thin. She's still got curves in all the right places. I just think she's really pretty. People give her crap about her eyebrows but I think they are kinda sexy. Ain't nothin' wrong with a girl with full brows...unless they meet in the middle like Bert from Sesame Street.

I wish I had gone into high fashion photography instead of writing. Then you can be like, "OK, Cara get completely naked and then hold this lock," and they have to do what you say. Regrets, I have a few.