Jack Website

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com, Tuvez.com, Egotastic.com, and WWTDD.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife and two cats.

Claudia Romani Celebrates Her Birthday In A Thong

Italian hottie Claudia Romani is one of our favorites here at Egotastic and it’s easy to see why. She celebrated her birthday the way she celebrates every day: by being scantily clad. She wore a tiny white thong bikini that showed off her goodies. Her boobage is the first thing we notice because, you know, you can see it from space. Her melones are molto delicioso. I think I just mixed Spanish with Italian but that’s how excited this woman makes me. Then she turns around and bends over and mama mia, what a thumper! One of the many things I like about Claudia is how curvy she is. She’s definitely got a nice round butt and what my grandmother would call “baby making hips” but she’s still thin.

Claudia may be the perfect woman, no joke. I would put her body in a Pepsi challenge and she’d win against pretty much everyone.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Angela Simmons Booty In Tight Bodysuit

Shoe designer and serious hot person Angela Simmons was spotted around town wearing a skin tight bodysuit. Now when I say it was skin tight I mean that the contents are really being held under pressure. The result is a pretty good view of her attributes. Her perfectly pert boobs look amazing and the plunging neckline gives us some killer cleav. But it is perhaps in the booty quadrant that things look the best. Angela has definitely got some junk in her trunk but she’s still got a nice thin waist. As the great philosopher Sir-Mix-A-Lot once said, “Her waist is small and her curves are kickin’/So I’m thinkin’ about stickin’”. Indeed. There is also just the hint of some camel toe action happening as well.

Angela should really consider buying that same outfit in several different colors and just make it her thing. She would just be known as the girl who wears incredibly tight bodysuits. There are worse things to be known for.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Wonderfully Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Revenge of the Ninja”

revenge of the ninja
Watch Video

I continue my search through the crapola on Netflix Instant for the turd jewels of awesomely bad films with Revenge of the Ninja. In the early 1980′s, Westerners didn’t know about the secretive ninja assassins of medieval Japan. Then came a series of films featuring the shadow warriors, mostly kickin’ ass in modern day America. If there was one actor that was the Lawrence Olivier of 1980′s ninja films it was Sho Kosugi. He was a gifted martial artist trained in various deadly arts including aikido, karate, and ninjitsu. Sho wasn’t a great actor in the traditional sense. Hell, the guy could barely speak English, so his line delivery wasn’t exactly great. Who cares? He was sooooo awesome in these films. Ninja 3: The Domination, Pray for Death, and Enter the Ninja were all masterpieces of martial arts awesomeness. But no film is greater than the 1983 classic Revenge of the Ninja.

The plot of the film is both simple and really complicated. Sho plays a man whose wife and children, save one, is killed by a rival ninja clan right before his immigration to America. He and his White American partner plan to sell overpriced Japanese dolls. After his family’s death, Sho gives up the ninja way. Of course, the White partner is the bad ninja who is smuggling heroin in the dolls, like you do. The bad guy’s trademark is that he wears a goofy silver mask under his black hood. It gets complex when the mob somehow becomes involved and some chick that’s a double agent that the evil ninja has hypnotized or some crap spies on Sho. It doesn’t matter. It all leads up to an amazing 10 minute ninja battle on a rooftop. The acting is horrrrible, particularly from the main actress and Sho’s real life son Shane Kosugi. The effects are akin to when you and your buddies made movies where you used ketchup for blood. Don’t go into it thinking you are going to get a better understanding of the history of the ninja or a Kurosawa-like auteur piece. It’s crap, but awesome crap. Remember, only a ninja can kill a ninja.

Girls at the Gym in Tight Shorts (Oh, My) And Other Fine Things To Ogle

 Girls-in-Short-workout-shorts

Girls in super tight gym shorts are why I workout, 39 Pictures! (The Chive)

“Bad Girl” Natalie Nunn knows how to work that booty. (TMZ)

Kathy Ferreiro has a mighty booty, but she’s no Kim K yet. (WWTDD)

Blake Lively is leggy as heck in Allure Magazine. (Huffington Post)

Miley Cyrus wears nothing but pasties because Miley Cyrus. (Drunken Stepfather)

Beatrice Chirita bikinis like a champ. (Hollywood Tuna)

Scarlett Johnansson shows off her Avengers at a movie premiere. (Popoholic)

Stefanie Knight Loses Her Bikini Top On A Photoshoot In Malibu

 
Click To See Uncensored

Bikini babe Stafanie Knight went sans top for a photoshoot for storied purveyors of expensive water and hot chicks 138 Water. She starts off with a top that can barely contain her massive boobage. Her yabbos are just too big for a mere piece of cloth. That’s when she decides to take it off and reveal nature’s goodness. Sweet Jesus, is there ever some amazing racktastic in these pics. As if all of that amazing boobie fun wasn’t enough, you’ve also got some tight shots of her perfect booty. Her cheeks are a thing of beauty. They should be bronzed and hung up in an art museum. Or better yet, they could come over to my house and I could play with it for a while. Either way.

What I do know is that all of this ogling her boobs and bum are making me thirsty. Maybe I’ll have a 138…hey…their advertising works. Good job, ad men.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Elsa Pataky Sexy Cleavage Show For The Premiere Of “Avengers: Age Of Ultron”

Spanish model and Thor’s wife Elsa Pataky was looking mighty cleavy at the premiere of The Avengers: Age of Ultron. She was channeling her inner Marilyn Monroe in a sexy low cut white dress. It has a seriously plunging neckline which showed off her goodies. You can definitely see why Thor…er…Chris Hemsworth was swept off his muscled feet. Elsa has got some incredible knockers. I mean, if they fwapped you across the face it would be more powerful than Thor’s hammer Mjolnir and twice as hot. It helps that she also wasn’t wearing a bra to the party. Who needs them? They are just hindrances. I think ladies, especially sexy ones like Elsa, should go back to the 60′s custom of burning their bras in protest.

Too bad she isn’t in the new Avengers movie. I would definitely pay to see Elsa dressed in tight spandex. Well, maybe for the sequel.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews

Amy Schumer’s “Milk, Milk, Lemonade” Is Everything

amy-schumer-milk-milk-lemonade-video-still-2015-billboard-650
Watch Video

It seems that every other pop song you hear nowadays is about booties. Not that I’m complaining. As a full blooded Latino male I am all about a nice booty. But it has become a bit much. For a long time the only song about butts was Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s Baby Got Back. But now it’s literally, (not figuratively), almost every song. Especially if it’s sung by a woman. I mean, I get it, we need to be less obsessed with skinny bodies. I agree. I am all about a woman with some meat on her bones. I wouldn’t know what to do with a very skinny woman. I mean, I WOULD know, but you get what I mean. So, leave it to the one and only Amy Schumer to do the perfect send up of all these bootylicious songs with her tune “Milk, Milk, Lemonade”.

I think you can probably see where it’s going. Yes, fudge. Oh, and Amber Rose and Method Men show up.