Every day I get up, make some coffee, and eagerly await news of whatever revealing outfit Kim Kardashian wore the night before. She rarely disappoints. In today’s ensemble, Kim is sporting a TIGHT pink latex dress with a built in shelf to show off those legendary funbags. The bra part of the dress looks more like plastic and, as we all know, plastic doesn’t adhere to the body. So, her thingies are more placed on top of the bra than actually being held by them. The result is cleav the likes of which are rarely seen on the Earth. The rest of the dress hugged Kim’s famous curves and reminded us all of what a lucky SOB Kanye West is. She was there promoting her new perfume Fleur Fatale. I imagine you need a nice fragrance on your body after wearing a latex dress for a long sweaty night.
What I do know is that I look forward to seeing what surprises Kim has in store for tonight. Will it be a see-through top? A leather bondage outfit? Or will she just be naked? We’ll have to wait and see.
Hottie duo Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio were on hand to reveal this year’s Victoria’s Secret fantasy bras in Las Vegas. Adriana was looking sexy in a form fitting black dress that hugged the contours of that famous frame. But it was Alessandra’s revealing red dress that really got people’s attention. It had a plunging neckline that gave you a nice view of her mighty cleav. A slit on the skirt also allowed a nice look at those gorgeous legs of hers. Each one of the bras and matching panties is worth 2 million dollars. The two of them will sport these redonkulously expensive over the shoulder boulder holders for Victoria’s Secret catalog and runway shows. I’m not exactly sure what the appeal of a 2 million dollar bra is to the average horndog who ogles the catalog is or for that matter a regular Victoria’s Secret patron looking for a underwear.
I guess the point is to show off how much money the company can spend on diamond studded bras. I can’t imagine that those things are comfortable or offer very good support. Sapphires are scratchy.
You know when you go to Starbucks to get your coffee fix and you accidentally come across a man battling a demon? No, me neither. Maybe my local Starbucks is just lame and doesn’t regularly host exorcisms. The person filming the video enters the store and sees a man trying to expel a demonic entity that was possessing a patron. Usually, exorcisms are conducted in a bedroom or church. But I can see that you want to enjoy the casual hangout factor of a big chain coffee shop. You probably get tired doing war against the forces of hell and you just need a venti half-caf mochacino. I’m surprised the baristas allowed this to go on. I suppose some college kid making a shitty living making coffee doesn’t want to get in the middle of a demon expulsion. Remember what happened to fr. Karras in The Exorcist. You don’t yourself want to get possessed.
Reddit is arguing over whether or not this is real or fake. I’m guessing fake. Everyone knows you conduct exorcisms at the Coffee Bean.
Amber Heard has a bikini Marilyn Monroe thing going that’s got me going. (Drunken Stepfather)
It’s the ultimate showdown: Khloe or Kim Kardashian‘s booty. (TMZ)
Angelina Jolie looks amazing in a low cut lace dress. (Huffington Post)
Hailey Clauson gets the uncle Terry treatment. (Hollywood Tuna)
Miley Cyrus in tight tights is a good thing. (Popoholic)
This video from Wang Wong Rollin is both hot and weird. (Dlisted)
Eugenia Kuzmina in body stocking? Yes, please! (COED)
Professional hot person Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was looking particularly hot in a sensual night gown thing for Victoria’s Secret. The bottom was a flowy skirt that showed off those amazing legs. They are long and lean and I wish they were wrapped around me right now. The skirt also had a slit that allowed you to see a bit of her panties and all the wonders that they hold. The top was flesh colored and it makes you think that there isn’t anything there but there is. Still, her pretty perkies looked really sweet. Rosie is firm and fully packed with a face that can’t be beat. She’s currently in my top five hotties that I’m ogling. Plus I like her name. She sounds like the heroine of a romance novel. She can play the countess and I’ll be the naughty stable boy.
These are the things I think about when I’m alone with my thoughts.
Beyonce’s little sister Solange Knowles got married in New Orleans and the theme of the wedding appeared to be nipple slips. The lovely Solange wore a white pant suit kind of thing with a huge slit in the front. I wouldn’t call what you could see of her funbags cleavage. It was more like inner sideboob with just a hint of nipple. Solange is pretty hot. I’ve thought so since I was forced to watch Bring It On: All or Nothing in which she starred as sassy cheerleader. Beyonce was also looking really sexy in a white dress that showed off those legendary ta-tas. No nip slips on her part though. A shame, really. I always thought only the bride was supposed to wear white at a wedding? I guess if you are Beyonce you can do whatever the hell you want.
I’m a little hurt that I wasn’t invited. We’re both from Houston and I used to see her dad all the time downtown. That obviously warrants an invite, right?
I live in Brooklyn, NY which means that I am surrounded by hipsters. They are everywhere. They say that in New York, rats outnumber the people 5 to 1. Well, the hipsters outnumber the non-douches 8 to 1. That’s why this particular item gets under my skin. Soon the the invitations for ugly Christmas sweater parties will start to come in. This is among the most common hipster themed parties. Then you have to go out and find an ugly enough Christmas sweater at the thrift store that doesn’t cost too much. Then you have to put on the damn thing and get on the subway and then everyone knows that you are going to an ugly sweater party and are therefor a douche. Luckily, with this Groupon, I can save myself a trip to the thrift store.
They come in Oscar the Grouch, Optimus Prime, or Ninja Turtle varieties. I think I’ll get Optimus Prime.