Jack TomasWebsite

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

Dita Von Teese Covered Topless Performance At Revolution in Florida

Everyone's favorite burlesque star Dita Von Teese showed off her goodies at a performance at the Revolution club in Florida. The brunette beauty hit the stage wearing spangly bottoms and pasties on her nips. I say that she was "covered topless" but you could pretty much see everything. A couple of stickers do not make you clothed. Dita danced around, dumped water on herself in a giant champagne glass, and generally made the audience feel something stirring in their bathing suit areas. Dita's work harkens back to a simpler time when exotic dancing was classier than it is today. It was all about teasing and flirting and not just dry humping for twenty bucks a song. Dita is painfully gorgeous. I wonder if she's coming to do a show in New York anytime soon? It's not stripping it's performance art, right?

I wonder if she applies the pasties on herself or if it is some lucky person's job to stick those on her pert nips? If so, what did that person do right in their last life to merit that reward?

Heidi Klum Goes Topless In Mexico

 

Heidi Klum decided to let the girls out for some air on a beach in Mexico. She was there vacationing with her young paramour Vito Schnabel, when she opted to lose the top of her bikini. One doesn't want tan lines, does one? The problem with nude beaches is that they are usually populated by people you don't want to see naked. Luckily, for the people on this beach they got an eyeful of one of the most famous models of the last twenty years. The Teutonic beauty still looks amazing. This woman is forty years old and has four kids and still rocks it like a supermodel. But it's not just her naked ripe melons that make these pictures a wonder to look at. Her bikini bottoms are also really small. You can see a great deal of that famous Klum butt.

That Vito is one lucky dude. He should thank all the gods, Buddhas, Jesuses, and Thors that he bagged such a knockout.

Lexie Marlow Barely There Bikini Shoot In California

Lexi Marlow showed off her natural assets at a bikini photo shoot in California. The blond bombshell wore a pretty small and form fitting black bikini. Of course, half the time she only had the bottoms on. For several of the pics she is just barely covering her enormous funbags with her arms. There is side boob, top boob, and bottom boob in these pics. The only thing missing is the nips, which is OK. You want a little mystery. But it isn't only Lexi's ample chest and firm butt that make her so hot. She has mastered that sexiest of female facial expressions: the pout. It comes off particularly sexy with her firm full lips. I like ladies with plump mouths. My grandfather always told me to never trust a woman with thin lips.

All of this wonderment took place in on the beaches of sunny California. I've recently realized the worst part about living in New York is that you don't see many girls in bikinis. You see crazy guys dressed like Spiderman and Zorro plenty, but no bikinis. Maybe I should move west?

Nikki Lund and Nikki Leigh Enjoy A Workout Together in California

Designer Nikki Lund and Playboy playmate Nikki Leigh got together for an afternoon of sweating and grunting. The two Nikkis worked out together in form fitting yoga pants and sports bras. There is something about a girl in a nice pair of hip hugging Lululemons that makes everything alright with the world. It's pretty much the only reason to go to the gym. The gals did some deep squats and then bent over to work out their cleavage while lifting little pink free weights. You can tell that the Nikkis like to workout because they are both in redonkulously good shape. I wonder how this friendship formed in the first place? Was it simply a case of, "Hey, my name is Nikki too! Do you want to get together and stretch in tight workout clothes?" That's how I'm going to choose to believe it happened.

I wonder if I could hire them to give me some private lessons. I might pass out from the exertion but it would be worth it.

Candice Accola Showing Off Her Bikini Body In Maui

CW star Candice Accola relaxed in a skin-tight bikini on the beaches of Maui. Candice's breastological region was on display as was her perfectly formed booty. I have always heard that the views on Maui are breathtaking. Candice just wrapped shooting her sexy Vampire Diaries show and blew off a little steam playing some Nerf football. I used to throw around the old spongy Nerf ball at the beach but it was usually with my obese cousin Tony and not a hottie like Candice. One can imagine her diving for the ball in her bikini, bouncing all the way. It's something we just don't see enough of these days, girls playing sports on the beach. They should hand out balls to all the lovelies when they arrive at the beach to encourage game playing, jumping, running, and bouncing. I for one am all for it. You know, for their health.

Maybe it's because I grew up watching Pam Anderson run in slow motion on a beach in Baywatch. Those were the days.

Anais Pouliot Covered Topless in Victoria’s Secret

French Canadian hottie Anais Pouliot is in all her slightly covered topless glory in this month's Victoria's Secret. Anais is just barely concealing her chesticles from view in these pictures. She is also sporting a flower crown. It's all very nymphlike, if nymphs wore frilly lingerie. I like to believe that if nymphs had money they might venture to the local mall to purchase a nice garter belt of bustier. Unfortunately, they don't actually exist. Still, the effect of Anais' photos is both shy and coquettish and super hot. I think it's probably due to her French Canadian heritage. Canadians tend to be fairly reserved unless they are at a hockey game. But the French are all about the sexy sex. I was once in Paris and I saw more breasts out in the wild than I've ever encountered before. This Quebec must be a magical place.

I'm going to have to get a hold of this April Victoria's Secret catalog. You know, for research. It is both my job and my duty.

Kendall Jenner Booty Cheeks In Shorts at the Coachella Festival

Kendall Jenner shows off her booty in short cut-offs at the Coachella music festival. Kendall is attending the outdoor music fest along with a lot of other celebrities. What this outfit shows is that the best part of these outdoor music festivals isn't the music, it's the scantily clad outfits that the ladies wear. This is a truth that goes back to the days of Woodstock. Kendall is a particularly hot girl with a variation on the famous Kardashian/Jenner booty. She puts the cut in cutt-offs with these shorts. They show just the right bit of butt cheek peaking out of the bottom. Much more and it would be indecent. If it was longer it would just be a pair of boring old jean shorts. This is the genius of Kendall Jenner. For a young girl she understands what sexy is and what it is not. That's a rare thing in today's youth. My hope is that young girls will take a page from her fashion playbook and practice proper butt cheek implementation.

It kind of makes me wish that I was at Coachella so I could behold this sight in person. Maybe next year.