JackWebsite

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

Weird Crap The Sell On Coupon Sites: “Decorative Margarita Glass Bug Zapper”

What's the worst part of summer barbecues? The mosquitos, amiright? These blood sucking pests show up and ruin any party. It doesn't matter how many citronella candels you put out, the little bastards keep coming. The answer might be a bug zapper. Not only is it an effective bug killer it also becomes a piece of entertainment for your guests as they watch the insects be electrocuted. The only problem with bug zappers is that they don't say "party". Well, now there is the Decorative Margarita Glass Bug Zapper. It's a bug zapper that looks like a margarita! If you are a Jimmy Buffet parrothead, live in Florida, or are generally a tacky drunk then this product is for you. I never really thought, "This bug zapper is great but it would be even better if it looked like a frozen drink". But then again, I'm not klassy with a K.

Kelly Brook Is All Booty And Cleavage in LA

English model and sexy beast Kelly Brook looked effing amazing in her tight workout clothes in Los Angeles. Kelly was on her way to the gym when the photog spotted her ginormous ta-tas bouncing down the street. You know you've got a crazy huge rack when normal clothes can no longer contain them. She's about to tear through that shirt Incredible Hulk style. The other thing you notice about this outfit is how absurdly awe inspiring her booty looks in her tight workout pants. Kelly is my kind of gal. I like a woman with shapely thighs and butt. Maybe it's the Latin man in me, but I wouldn't know what to do with one of these girls with no junk in the trunk. As the great philosopher Sir Mix-A-Lot once said, "I like big butts. I cannot lie".

If working for this site has taught me anything over the years is that I really need to find whatever gym all these hot models and actresses got to and get a membership. I can halfheartedly do the elliptical machine if it means I can see hot women in workout clothes.

Ludivine Sagna And Her Boobs Bikini On Miami Beach

Model and soccer player wife Ludivine Sagna looked redonkulously sexy in a small bikini on Miami Beach. Ludivine has pretty much a perfect body. There is not an ounce of fat or ugly on her. But her most prominent feature are her delectable funbags. Holy mother of boobs she has a nice rack! They are barely contained inside the confines of her bikini top. Much like a tiger or the wind or whatever her boobies cannot be restrained. She's got some serious cleav action going on. The bottom also reveals her perfectly crafted booty. It's a work of art, ya'll.

Ludivine is married in real life to soccer player Bacary Sagna. If watching the World Cup taught me anything it's that "footballers" have pretty stacked wives and girlfriends. I get that these guys are a big deal in other parts of the world and can therefor get the hottest women. It's just in America where no one gives much of a crap. I doubt our native soccer players could land a girl like Ludivine.

Today In Japanese Perversion: Old Male School Girl

Ew.

The Japanese are the greatest cosplayers on Earth. That's because unlike a lot of the dorks here in the U.S. that do it, every day people in Japan regularly dress in costumes. One of the most popular is Seifuku, which is the sailor-type school girl uniform favored by young prepubescent girls and Sailor Moon. It's pretty hot when a sexy of age lady wears it...but what about a funky-looking old dude? Hideaki Kobayashi is a scruffy dude that looks like the love child of Mr. Miyagi and a deadhead. He likes to go around dressed like a school girl to challenge gender norms or something. Or not. When asked why he does it he says,

"That's a difficult question. It's not really something I've thought too deeply about. Hrm. I guess it's because sailor suits look good on me?"

He identifies as a man, so he's not a transgendered person. He just gets his jollies dressing like a 12 year old girl. I don't know what the Japanese equivalent of the sex offender task force is but they might want to have a talk with him.

Selena Gomez Leggy And Cleavy In Italy

The lovely Selena Gomez was looking hot as F in a black dress at a gala dinner for the Ischia Global Festival in Italy. One of the things about Selena that I really respect is the fact that she rarely wears a bra. Such was the case on the night of the gala. The low cut dress showed off that famous Gomez cleavage and just a hint of sideboob as well. Selena's girls have been looking...er...larger recently. Maybe it's just from vitamins and exercise? Either way, her funbags look amazing. The dress also has a slit in the front that goes almost all the way up to her hoo-ha giving us a nice eyeful of her legs. Selena has a pretty phenomenal set of stems. They are perfectly toned and fit. Luckily, she likes to show those off as well.

What I'm saying is that Selena knows how much we appreciate looking at her in various states of undress and she's willing to oblige us. She's a real mensch, only, you know, a chick.

Nina Agdal Bikinis on Miami Beach

Danish professional hot person Nina Agdal took some much needed r&r by laying around in an absurdly small bikini in Miami Beach. The top is like two tiny triangles of fabric that barely cover her nips. Her mighty fjords are hanging mostly out allowing us a delightful view of her ta-tas. There is sideboob and cleavage galore. Nina's got a pretty nice rack. They aren't monstrous King Kong melon boobs but they aren't tiny little flea bites either. The bottom of the bikini shows off the ridiculous cut of her hips as it, again, barely covers up the naughty bits. We write about Nina a lot on Egotastic not only because she is hot but because she knows how to wear a bikini. I guess that's why they pay her the big bucks to model them. I wonder at what point in her life she said, "I'm going to lay around in bikinis professionally?"

The answer is probably when she was just a wee Danish hottie. You recognize the talent of prodigies like her and Mozart when they are very young.

Hollywood Destroys Your Childhood In New TMNT Trailer

Why Must You Kill My Dreams?

The Hollywood craptacular complex continues to mine your childhood for things to destroy in the latest trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake. My biggest gripe is with the design of the turtles themselves. They look like giant 7 foot tall green turds. I'm not saying that the Ninja Turtles of my childhood were anatomically the same as a regular turtle. They can after all stand on their hind legs and practice martial arts. But there is something creepy about these new turtles. Plus, Megan Fox as April O'Neil? She's supposed to be a journalist. I doubt that Megan can even write.I'm going to go see this new movie, of course. Like, all other things that Hollywood does to ruin my childhood i gladly give my money to the very perpetrators of this villainy. Who is the bigger idiot? Me or them?