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Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

The Muppets Sing The Beastie Boys

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When I was in high school there were two things I was obsessed with two things: The Muppets and The Beastie Boys. I was a strange teenager, OK. The Muppets have been a life long passion of mine, so much so that I spend a lot of my time doing puppetry. The Beastie Boys are still one of my favorite groups. When MCA died a couple of years ago I was broken up like I knew him. So, when some genius mashed up The Beastie Boys' classic song So Wat'cha Want with The Muppets, it made me very happy. It seems like a no brainer. Like, why did no one think of it before?

Kim Kardashian Booty In A Super Tight Burgundy Dress in NYC

Hall of fame hottie Kim Kardashian showed off her legendary booty in an extremely tight burgundy dress in New York City. Is there a better derriere on planet Earth than Kim Kardashian's caboose? If there is I'd like to see it. Kim has mastered the art of wearing tight clothes to better accentuate her amazing rack and booty. Not everyone can look this good sporting tight clothes, my friends. The dress also allowed us a peek at her stomach through a see-through window. But the thing that pops out in the front is, of course, those incredible boobies. Much like her booty it's hard to find many funbags that can compete with Kim's girls. The whole Kardashian clan was blessed by the good Lord with totally unbelievable yum yums, but only Kim has the magic combination of booty and boobs.

That Kanye West is a lucky man. I don't see why he's so angry all the time. If I had Kim's booty to lay my face on at the end of the day I'd never be unhappy again.

Cara Santana Shows Off Her Abs

The lovely Cara Santana showed off her amazing abs in a sports bra in LA. She was leaving the gym wearing a pair of workout pants that were so tight that they look like they were painted on. They did a good job of displaying her shapely booty. As a top she chose to go with just a sports bra. The result was a glimpse at her incredibly toned stomach. Who can blame her for showing it off, it's friggin' perfect. If I had abs like that I'd walk around topless all the time. The sports bra also framed her perfectly pert ta-tas in a great way. I first became aware of Cara when I was forced to watch one of the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movies by my mom. While I did not enjoy the film about talking rat dogs, I did like seeing Cara. I remember thinking, "Wow, that girl is super hot to be in this movie".

It almost made watching that movie worth it. Almost.

Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home”

Nuclear Wessels

It is a scientific fact that every even numbered Star Trek movie is good and every odd numbered one sucks. At least, that's what people say. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is certainly better than the two movies that bookend it. Especially, part V. That movie blows tribble wiener. Some might say that Voyage Home disproves the even/odd theory because it's kind of silly. OK, it's really silly. But that's part of the fun. Star Trek always had a humorous undertone that comes out in this film better than all the others. Because, whales.

The film starts on Vulcan, where the crew of the Enterprise are still recovering from the events of Search for Spock. The Enterprise has been destroyed so they have to fly a Klingon bird of prey. The gang will very likely be thrown in jail on their return for stealing the Enterprise to rescue Mr. Spock. On their way back to Earth, a weird probe shows up and starts destroying the oceans and threatens to destroy the planet. All offensive maneuvers fail. It seems that the probe is looking for whales, in particular humpback whales. The only problem is that humpback whales were hunted to extinction during our century. So, naturally, Kirk decides that they have to go back in time to find some whales. They travel back by whipping themselves around the sun. Don't question the science, it will just give you a headache. The crew ends up in present day, (1986), San Francisco. Kirk and Spock locate two humpback whales at an aquarium where they are looked after by a marine biologist, that of course Kirk hits on. They have many wacky adventures in the present including Chekov almost dying. They manage to rescue the whales from whalers after they are released to the wild. They then go back to the future and dump the whales in the ocean. When the probe hears the whales it leaves. Apparently, it just came to say what's up to a whale. Because they saved the Earth the crew is let off and given a new Enterprise. Whales!

Look, the script makes no sense. Not just the time travel thing but why does the probe show up to talk to whales? It's silly. But it's a fun movie. That's about all I can say. Whales.

Britney Spears Leggy In Short Shorts

Hall of fame hottie Britney Spears was spotted in a pair of short shorts while on a Starbucks run in LA. A lot of digital ink has been spent talking about Britney's boobage and with good reason. Her funbags are a thing of beauty. You can tell she's having trouble keeping them in her shirt because she keeps pulling on her top. But she's also got a dynamite pair of legs. I guess it comes from all of those years dancing on stage to her pop songs. Her legs are long, even though she isn't very tall. I've always been a fan of Britney Spears. Not so much her music as, you know, her. Who can forget the Hit Me Baby One More Time video where she played a catholic school girl? Yes, please and thank you very much.

I'm glad that Britney was able to emerge from the fog of her cray cray breakdown a few years ago. The world needs less crazy people and more hot singers like Britney.

Sveva Alviti Bikinis On Miami Beach

Italian model and singularly hot person Sveva Alviti showed off her calzones on in a microscopic black bikini on Miami Beach. Sveva has the classic model's body. Slender but perky in all the right places. Take her boobalicious ta-tas for example. They aren't huge but they are a nice size and very perky. You can tell in the pic where she's covered topless. Also, her booty is outstanding in her thong bottom. Again, it's perky. I particularly like the pictures where she has been swimming. There is something about a woman's body when she's fresh from the ocean that is unbelievably sexy. It also helps if you look like Sveva. I'll freely admit that I was not familiar with Sveva before writing this piece. But after doing some research and staring at these pics I can honestly say I'm now a fan.

What I'd like to see is a photog taking pictures on the Riviera. You know they go topless there, right? What a glorious day that would be.

A Sneek Peek At The “Saved By The Bell” Lifetime Movie

It's all right?

For any kid who grew up in the 90's Saved By The Bell was one of the hallmarks of their childhoods. I know that I would tune into see the hijinks of the gang at Bayside High. But it turns out that things weren't so rosy behind the scenes. Apparently, everyone fought and screwed each other for years. If this scene from the unauthorized Saved By The Bell Lifetime movie is correct then Mario Lopez liked to make the other two douches look bad by doing push-ups. Some might say that they don't want to know the truth. That our childhoods have been tortured enough and we don't need to know how much Skreech hated Lisa. I once saw Dustin Diamond do stand up and it was really sad. All he did was drunkenly talk about how much he hated everyone on the show.It was honestly one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.

Still, I'm going to watch this movie when it comes out. It looks friggin' horrible.