JackWebsite

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

Noriega Sues Activision Over “Call Of Duty: Black Ops II”

Manuel Noriega has sued Activision for its portrayal of him in their game Call of Duty: Black Ops II. Yes, THAT Manuel Noriega. The brutal murdering dictator who ruled Panama with an iron fist. The same Noriega that was deposed by the U.S. military in 1989 and has been imprisoned ever since. It seems that he thinks that the game shows him as "the culprit of numerous fictional heinous crimes". He thinks the game has tarnished his reputation. I think being a corrupt killer and kleptocrat tarnished his reputation. Activision doesn't seem to be taking the suit very seriously. After all, what judge is going to disagree with the way he was portrayed? Who cares what some old imprisoned dictator thinks?

I think Activision should use this as an inspiration for their next Call of Duty game. Despot Killer could be a shooter in which you have to take out a different Latin American despot. Castro, Noriega, Ortega, Pinochet, etc. could all be taken out with bazookas and machine guns. Think about it.

Lena Headey Bikinis At The Beach In Ischia

Cersei Lannister...er...I mean Lena Headey took some time off from scheming and banging her TV brother to bikini at the beach of the Regina Hotel in Ischia. Lena chose a tiny black bikini that shows off the crown jewels. There is some great cleavage shots of her glorious ta-tas as well as her amazing booty. She's got a pretty tight stomach and a nice cut at her hips. Lena is the definition of keeping it tight. She's one of the hottest forty year old actresses in Hollywood. Lena has a pretty redonkulous body which is sadly too often covered in medieval gowns on Game of Thrones. With all the nudity on that show, it's never her that gets nekkid. It's a damn shame.

That's why I liked her as Sarah Conner in Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles. She was often scantily clad on that show. Plus she got to shoot Terminators.

Taylor Swift Steps Out In a Miniskirt

Songstress and sexy person Taylor Swift was spotted in New York wearing a miniskirt. When I say miniskirt I mean it's mini. It barely goes to her mid thigh. Most importantly it allows us a view of Taylor's glorious legs. I've said it before and I will say it again, Taylor Swift has the best legs in America. They are the perfect combination of toned and curvy. They are also long. I'm reminded of all those old movies where they would say things like, "She's got legs for days" or "She has legs up to here". The best part is that Taylor knows she has unbelievable legs and likes to show them off. My mom always told me to put my best qualities out there and Taylor certainly follows my mom's advice.

I've been, not stalking, but hoping to run into Taylor since she moved to NYC. I just happen to often find myself in her neighborhood and I am always hoping for an encounter. Not that I have anything productive to say to her. I'd probably just stutter something nonsensical and point at her legs. I'm not good under pressure.

Today In Japanese Perversion: The 3D Printed Vagina Selfie

One of the coolest technological things that have come around in the last few years is the 3D printer. You can make almost anything with of magic plastic printer. They've made legs for handicapped pets and even guns. One of the least awesome technological side effects is the selfie. How friggin' annoying is the selfie? But what if the selfie was used to make a fake vagina with a 3D printer. Well, that's exactly what one Japanese girl got in trouble for doing. Rokudenashiko, which means "good-for-nothing-girl", took a selfie of her hoo-ha and started mailing people the template who donated to her crowd-sourced effort. She was arrested and detained in Tokyo for violating Japan's indecency laws. I didn't know Japan even had indecency laws with all that tentacle rape going on. But apparently a human woman creating a humpable fake vagina is going to far.

I have to admit that I don't get the Japanese sense of impropriety. Why is it not OK to make a fake vagina but it is OK to make cartoons in which young girls are raped by aliens? Maybe something is lost in translation?

Lea Michele Bikinis Poolside In Santa Barbara

Glee star and hot person Lea Michele took some time off from singing Journey songs on the show to display her amazing bikini body. Lea wore a small white bikini that showed off all of the goodies. Her ample ta-tas were barely covered by the top which gave us a nice view of her cleavage and just a hint of sideboob. Lea is in really amazing shape and you can tell by the redonkulous cut of her hips as they head down to her hoo-ha. This is an unappreciated bit of the female anatomy which is particularly appealing if it is as toned and muscular as Lea's is. It's a shame that on Glee they put her in these frumpy outfits that don't show off her amazing body. I guess that's what happens when you set a show in Ohio and then New York. It's hard to justify people running around in bikinis.

That's why any show with hot people needs to be set somewhere hot or at least mild like California or Miami. That is one of Jack's rules of TV production: whenever possible, put 'em in a bikini.

Natasha Oakley In A Black Bikini On Miami Beach

Model and fellow blogger Natasha Oakley was looking hot as F in a tiny black bikini in Miami Beach. Natasha's ample funbags were on display in a top that left little to the imagination. Natasha has got a pretty spectacular rack and, humanitarian that she is, she likes to share it with the world. The cleavage alone is enough to get your pressure up but there is also some lovely sideboob action. But that's just half the story. There is also her bottom which allows us an almost complete view of her amazing booty. It's pert, toned, and perfect. I know that the word "perfect" gets tossed around a lot but in this case I mean it. Her booty looks like it was designed in a lab somewhere by mad butt scientists working on creating the ultimate derriere. They succeeded.

Natasha doesn't look like most bloggers I know. Mostly they look...well...like me. I guess really hot people have better things to do than write articles online. You know, like be hot.

Stupid Crap On Coupon Sites: “DC Comics & Character Unisex Union Suits”

Remember when you were little and you would wear those jammies with the feet attached? Those were fun. I had a Spiderman and a Superman outfit when I was four that I wore passed when it fit me properly. But I have to say that as an adult I have never wanted to bring back those memories as an adult. I don't imagine that other people want to wear them either or so I thought until I saw this item on Groupon. Basically they are footie PJs for adults. They come in a variety of DC characters and other popular pop culture icons. Batman, Robin, Superman, Pokemon, and various cartoon characters are all available. I guess that I just don't get it because I'm not some weirdo furry. I imagine that a lot of folks get turned on by the idea of putting on Batman pajamas and going at it. Maybe I'm just dirty but I can't help but think that this is sexual.

Nay, I reject the idea that it isn't. Get it here for only $13.99, ya freak.