Jack Website

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com, Tuvez.com, Egotastic.com, and WWTDD.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife and two cats.

Paris Hilton Wears Lingerie In “High Off My Love” Music (VIDEO)

Hall of fame hottie Paris Hilton was looking sexy as hell in lingerie in her new music video “High Off My Love”. She was sporting a blue panties and bra combo that is getting my pressure up. I’ve been a big fan of Paris Hilton in her skivies since a certain video of her surfaced back in the day. All these years later she’s still looking incredible scantily clad. Her historic boobage is is a thing of beauty. Paris has a perfectly perky set of funbags. They are the kind of ta-tas you want to take out to a steak dinner because of their inherent charm. But it is her booty that makes me truly joyous. Paris’ lady humps are as splendid today as they were years ago. How many women can say that their asses look the same as they did fifteen years ago?

Not bloody many. I’m going to check out this video now and slow down the good parts.

Photo Credit: Paris Hilton “High Off My Love”

Dita Von Teese Goth Hotness And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Dita Von Teese is my favorite pin-up queen. (Dlisted)

Love and Hip Hop star Karlie Redd shows off her lingerie bod. (TMZ)

Kourtney Kardashian lounging in a black and white bikini. (Huffington Post)

Kayslee Collins completely naked. Like, COMPLETELY. (Drunken Stepfather)

Xenia Deli in a bikini? Don’t mind if I do. (Popoholic)

Genevieve Morton‘s lovely yum yums in a bikini wrapper. (The Superficial)

I love the combo of dark hair and light eyes. (The Chive)

Nintendo Hires Bowser As New VP

In the pantheon of Nintendo’s storied past there are few villains as loved and hated as Bowser. Ever since the first Mario Brothers game way back in the 80′s, we’ve enjoyed the antics of the fire-breathing turtle-dinosaur. He was even played by the great Dennis Hopper in the catastrophically bad Mario Bros. movie. But he is an agent of chaos that does nothing but cause trouble. That’s why it is a little baffling why Nintendo would hire Bowser as their VP overseeing U.S. sales. He’s going by the name of Doug Bowser and claims he is an executive with decades of experience having previously worked at EA. But I’m not buying it. I know for a fact that Bowser can take different shapes. He’s a master of disguise which is really surprising since he’s a giant turtle. So, maybe this guy is just an executive with an unfortunate game.

Or maybe he’s a monster that is going to start throwing bullet bills at people in the Nintendo Store on 5th ave in New York.

Jessica Alba Oiled Up For Shape Magazine

Legendary hottie Jessica Alba was looking tanned and toned in a bikini spread for Shape Magazine. It’s no wonder that Shape wanted to do a spread with Jessica because her shape is bangin’. The first thing that you notice in these pics is, of course, the famous Jessica Alba boobies. I’ve been a fan of them since I first saw them in the skin tight bodysuit she wore in that terrible Fantastic Four movie she was in years ago. She almost spills out in several pics which give us not only some spectacular cleav but also some delectable sideboob. Jessica’s legs are also a thing of beauty. I wouldn’t mind caressing those bad boys late into the night. Oh, to be a drop of pool water on those thighs.

I’m going to buy several copies of this magazine and wallpaper my closet with it. That way I can always step into my closet to reflect on the beauty of Jessica’s yabbos.

Photo Credit: Shape Magazine

Rita Ora Nearly Spills Out Of Her Top While Out In Cannes

The ever sexy Rita Ora was showing off her cans…at Cannes. See what I did there? No, but seriously, her mammoth boobage was spilling out of her dress like a ta-ta waterfall. It’s not hard to see why. Rita has some spectacular lady melons. They are nice and round and so large that they create their own gravitational pull that makes other smaller boobs orbit around them. As if that wasn’t enough, her dress was also cut really high. The result was that you could see her legs all the way up to her creamy thighs. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have those bad boys wrapped around me. But alas, all I can do is look at these pictures and dream.

I had a movie in the Cannes Film Festival once. It was a short about a Mexican wrestler doll that comes to life after being splashed by hot sauce. I really should have gone to France and then I would have gotten to see hotties like Rita in the flesh.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash

2016 Presidential Race Starts With Hilary Clinton Porn Parody

It’s over a year away but the 2016 presidential race is already starting. Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Independent, or you just don’t care one thing is for sure, it’s all we’re going to friggin’ hear about for the next year and a half. It’s relentless. But there is a new tradition that started back in 2008 when Sarah Palin was running for the Republican nomination and that is the porn parody. It was a HUGE hit. But why should the Republicans be the only ones that get spoofed by having porn actors dressed as them doing it? Luckily, there is the new Hilary Clinton porn parody starring legend Nina Hartley. She explains how she approached the character by saying,

“I’m not a trained actress, but I’ve been making adult films for 31 years. I’ve gotten to an age where I’m playing authority figures by default. She’s a powerful figure married to another powerful figure so she’s ripe for caricature…I play her very in charge, a tad bossy, without veering to emasculation, but she is able to articulate what she wants. I do have sex fantasies about her. I imagine she’s bisexual and that she’s deeply passionate.”

I think it’s great to have our politicians be spoofed whether it be through satire like SNL or people bumping uglies. It keeps them honest.

Amber Heard’s Boobie Show And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Terry Richardson takes some sexy shots of Amber Heard. (WWTDD)

Abigail Ratchford talks about her upcoming Playboy spread while showing mighty cleav. (TMZ)

Khloe Kardashian shows off her assets in a skin tight bodysuit. (Huffington Post)

Jessica Alba lounging in a blue bikini for Shape Magazine. (Drunken Stepfather)

Bella Thorne invites us to enjoy her cleavage. (Popoholic)

Anna Kournikova makes yoga look sexy. (Busted Coverage)

Sexy girls laying in bed. Amazing. (The Chive)