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Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com, Tuvez.com, Egotastic.com, and WWTDD.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife and two cats.

Naomi Campbell Sexy Lingerie Shoot for Agent Provocateur

Ah, Naomi Campbell. I have been a big fan of this lovely lady and her tig ‘ol bitties since I was in junior high and believe me that was a loooong time ago. But she still looks amazing. She is the very definition of keeping it tight. In these pics, she’s sporting several provocative lingerie ensembles. Naomi has got some ridiculously incredible legs. They are so long and lean. I imagine having those bad boys wrapped around you in heavenly. Naomi’s booty is outstanding as well. I would like to wear it as a hat. Her thumper is at the same time tight and curvy. I very much likey.

I remember watching Naomi writhe around nekkid in the George Michael Freedom 90 video. If you haven’t seen that video in a while I suggest you YouTube it for some classic hot lady party.

Photo Credit: Agent Provocateur

Irina Shayk Knows How To Wear Bikinis And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Irina Shayk can fill out a bikini like no other. (Hollywood Tuna)

Kylie Jenner wore a crop top to play Santa at a kid’s hospital. (TMZ)

Jennifer Lopez shows off her famous curves in Self Magazine. (Huffington Post)

Nicki Minaj‘s calendar features…wait for it…her booty. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jehane “Gigi” Paris has some big ‘ol funbags. (Popoholic)

Britney Spears is looking pretty hot in Women’s Health. (Dlisted)

Demi Lovato is like a hot intergalactic punk alien in Allure Magazine. (COED)

Suelyn Medeiros Celebrates Her New Book Release With Some Cleavage On The Side

Sexy lady Suelyn Medeiros was boobtastically cleavtastic at the book release party for her new masterpiece My Secrets Revealed. I assume it’s some sort of tell-all autobiography. What spoke volumes was her pink dress that was so low cut that it is split almost to her belly button. The result shows off her immense funbags. These things are magnificent. Nay, her boobies are legendary. They are the kind of chichis you tell your grandkids about. She appears to be mostly naked on the cover of the book. I hope there are more naked pictures inside. I might actually buy this bad boy if there are lots of pictures of her ta-tas.

I wonder what kind of sexy tales this book will tell? I imagine whatever stories are in there are much more exciting than anything I’ve ever done. My sexual escapades could be told in a slim flipbook.

Daphne Joy Seen In A White Lace See-Through Dress On Rodeo Drive

Professional hot person Daphne Joy was spotted on Rodeo Drive in LA in a dress that is more like the doilies on your grandma’s couch than an actual dress. You can see much more skin than you can fabric in this getup. The crop top shows off her gorgeous bare mid-riff in all its toned sexy goodness. Daphne has quite a rack and you can kind of see all of her ta-tas in the peek-a-boo dress. But let’s not forget Daphne’s curvy hips and booty. She’s got the kind of figure that gets my pressure up. Just look at that thumper, my friends. It’s lovely and smackable. Not that I would actually smack her butt. That’s how people get arrested.

How come I never see hot chicks in see-through dresses when I am on Rodeo Drive? I only see rich old first wives with too much plastic surgery buying overpriced shit to hang on to their faded youth.

Photo Credit: Garry ‘Prophecy’ Sun / SunOfHollywood.com

 

Behold The Naked Bacon Cooking Armor

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You get up in the morning and you want to cook up some bacon. The only problems is that you don’t have any pants or underwear on. Now, you could put something on over your privates to protect it from piping hot bacon grease. A third degree burn on your dong is not something you want to happen. But what if you want to be mostly naked and pantless? You just like the feel of the wind on your butt hair. Well, you are in luck. Behold the Naked Bacon Cooking Armor. It’s basically like a cup covered in foam that keeps the bacon grease from burning your cockles. J&D Foods, the company that made the device, said that the armor,

“Constructed from a hard plastic shell covered with foam then enclosed in vinyl. It truly is the gold standard of genital grease burn protection.”

Some people might well say that this seems like an awful lot of work for an action that is completely preventable by simply putting on pants. But as J&D said,

“Cooking and eating bacon naked has been said to be the equivalent of winning the lottery, scoring a touchdown in the Super Bowl and neck-punching Justin Bieber all at once.”

Well, I can’t argue with that.

Ellie Goulding’s Sideboob And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Ellie Goulding‘s sideboob is amazingly amazing. (Drunken Stepfather)

Hottie Playboy model Carla Howe might release a sex tape with Wiz Khalifa. (TMZ)

Jennifer Aniston is topless in Allure Magazine, y’all. (Huffington Post)

Kahili Blundell has got some copious ta-tas. Copious. (Hollywood Tuna)

Alexis Ren in a bikini? Don’t mind if I do. (Popoholic)

Miss World Rolene Strauss is pretty friggin’ hot. (COED)

Newsflash: Serena Williams‘ booty is out of control. (Celebslam)

Kayla Swift 138 Bikini Wet T-Shirt Shoot

Kayla Swift used her prodigious jugs to sell really expensive water in this photoshoot for 138 Water. This young lady has been blessed by the good Lord with a magnificent pair of ta-tas. She was wearing a white t-shirt that was damp with the priceless H2O. The coldness of the day made her nipples stand at attention. She also has quite a fantastic booty. I’d like to wear it as a hat. I really like this 138 Water campaign. I’m not entirely sure what hot chicks and boobs has to do with proper hydration but it works. The reason it does is because boobs make anything better. That is a scientific fact.

I want to frolic on the beach with her in her wet t-shirt. Maybe riding on horses. Yeah, like in the Black Stallion.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet