Jack Website

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com, Tuvez.com, Egotastic.com, and WWTDD.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife and two cats.

Nintendo Hires Bowser As New VP

In the pantheon of Nintendo’s storied past there are few villains as loved and hated as Bowser. Ever since the first Mario Brothers game way back in the 80′s, we’ve enjoyed the antics of the fire-breathing turtle-dinosaur. He was even played by the great Dennis Hopper in the catastrophically bad Mario Bros. movie. But he is an agent of chaos that does nothing but cause trouble. That’s why it is a little baffling why Nintendo would hire Bowser as their VP overseeing U.S. sales. He’s going by the name of Doug Bowser and claims he is an executive with decades of experience having previously worked at EA. But I’m not buying it. I know for a fact that Bowser can take different shapes. He’s a master of disguise which is really surprising since he’s a giant turtle. So, maybe this guy is just an executive with an unfortunate game.

Or maybe he’s a monster that is going to start throwing bullet bills at people in the Nintendo Store on 5th ave in New York.

Jessica Alba Oiled Up For Shape Magazine

Legendary hottie Jessica Alba was looking tanned and toned in a bikini spread for Shape Magazine. It’s no wonder that Shape wanted to do a spread with Jessica because her shape is bangin’. The first thing that you notice in these pics is, of course, the famous Jessica Alba boobies. I’ve been a fan of them since I first saw them in the skin tight bodysuit she wore in that terrible Fantastic Four movie she was in years ago. She almost spills out in several pics which give us not only some spectacular cleav but also some delectable sideboob. Jessica’s legs are also a thing of beauty. I wouldn’t mind caressing those bad boys late into the night. Oh, to be a drop of pool water on those thighs.

I’m going to buy several copies of this magazine and wallpaper my closet with it. That way I can always step into my closet to reflect on the beauty of Jessica’s yabbos.

Photo Credit: Shape Magazine

Rita Ora Nearly Spills Out Of Her Top While Out In Cannes

The ever sexy Rita Ora was showing off her cans…at Cannes. See what I did there? No, but seriously, her mammoth boobage was spilling out of her dress like a ta-ta waterfall. It’s not hard to see why. Rita has some spectacular lady melons. They are nice and round and so large that they create their own gravitational pull that makes other smaller boobs orbit around them. As if that wasn’t enough, her dress was also cut really high. The result was that you could see her legs all the way up to her creamy thighs. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have those bad boys wrapped around me. But alas, all I can do is look at these pictures and dream.

I had a movie in the Cannes Film Festival once. It was a short about a Mexican wrestler doll that comes to life after being splashed by hot sauce. I really should have gone to France and then I would have gotten to see hotties like Rita in the flesh.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash

2016 Presidential Race Starts With Hilary Clinton Porn Parody

It’s over a year away but the 2016 presidential race is already starting. Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Independent, or you just don’t care one thing is for sure, it’s all we’re going to friggin’ hear about for the next year and a half. It’s relentless. But there is a new tradition that started back in 2008 when Sarah Palin was running for the Republican nomination and that is the porn parody. It was a HUGE hit. But why should the Republicans be the only ones that get spoofed by having porn actors dressed as them doing it? Luckily, there is the new Hilary Clinton porn parody starring legend Nina Hartley. She explains how she approached the character by saying,

“I’m not a trained actress, but I’ve been making adult films for 31 years. I’ve gotten to an age where I’m playing authority figures by default. She’s a powerful figure married to another powerful figure so she’s ripe for caricature…I play her very in charge, a tad bossy, without veering to emasculation, but she is able to articulate what she wants. I do have sex fantasies about her. I imagine she’s bisexual and that she’s deeply passionate.”

I think it’s great to have our politicians be spoofed whether it be through satire like SNL or people bumping uglies. It keeps them honest.

Amber Heard’s Boobie Show And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Terry Richardson takes some sexy shots of Amber Heard. (WWTDD)

Abigail Ratchford talks about her upcoming Playboy spread while showing mighty cleav. (TMZ)

Khloe Kardashian shows off her assets in a skin tight bodysuit. (Huffington Post)

Jessica Alba lounging in a blue bikini for Shape Magazine. (Drunken Stepfather)

Bella Thorne invites us to enjoy her cleavage. (Popoholic)

Anna Kournikova makes yoga look sexy. (Busted Coverage)

Sexy girls laying in bed. Amazing. (The Chive)

Kayslee Collins Lounging Braless

In this photo shoot Kayslee Collins shows a kind of relaxed boobosity. She is photographed wearing carious jackets that are open to reveal that she is wearing neither a shirt nor a bra. You know, like you do. The resulting cleav is breathtaking. Kayslee has an amazing rack. They are perfectly shaped. When her genetic code was written the perfectly symmetrical and well-proportioned ta-ta gene was activated. I like them too because they look like they are natural. I like a pair of boobs that don’t feel like a bag of sand when you squeeze them. But that’s just me. Oh, to have been a camera assistant on this shoot and gotten a peek at those delicious yum yums.

But no one asked me. I have experience with lighting and production. Why doesn’t anyone ask me to help out on high fashion half-naked shoots with top models?

Photo Credit: Tara Nichols for The Lady Boy Project

Charlotte McKinney Chesty Cleavage For A Rolling Stones Concert

The always smoking hot Charlotte McKinney was spotted at a Rolling Stones concert looking as boobtacular as ever. She was sporting a leather jasket and a shirt that was both low cut and kinda see-through. The resulting cleav was one for the ages. After all, Charlotte McKinney has arguably the best boobage in the business. There are VERY few who are even in the same category of boobishness as her. If I were a poet instead of an online “journalist” I would write a mighty tome to her luscious lady melons. But alas, the words escape me. If I ever saw Charlotte in person I would probably react like a cartoon wolf and have my eyes bug out and my tongue unroll like a carpet.

What I’m saying is that as far as the boobtacular arts go, Charlotte is friggin’ Picasso.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews