JackWebsite

Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2- The Secret of the Ooze

Go Ninja Go Ninja Go!

I was in the 7th grade when the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie came out. That was precisely the right age to truly fall in love with the four wisecracking turtles and their martial arts exploits. I was also a huge fan of the cartoon series that popped up after it. So, you can imagine that I was very excited when they announced a sequel. Even at the age of 12 I knew that it would be hard to make a movie as amazing as the first one. I was right. The resulting film is nowhere near as good as the first one, though it does have the single greatest song of all time...Vanilla Ice's Ninja Rap.

Secret of the Ooze picks up right where the other movie left off. The Turtles believe that the Shredder and the Foot Clan have been defeated and all is well. But guess what? Shredder somehow survived being crushed in a trash compactor. Intrepid reporter April O'Neil does an investigation into a company that has been dumping toxic waste around the city. Splinter suspects that this waste is the ooze that turned them into giant mutants. The Foot steals the ooze and creates Tokaa and Rahzar, two mutated animals of their own. Their new buddy, a pizza delivery guy, infiltrates the Foot to find the ooze and whatnot. The Turtles then have to defeat the mutants while trying to save Donatello who gets kidnapped. They discover that fire extinguishers can reverse the process and they revert the animals back into small beasts. Shredder then consumes the ooze and becomes Super Shredder. Fortunately, he weighs too much and he falls through the dock and drowns. Pizza Time!

Did I mention there is a dance battle sequence to the Vanilla Ice song? Well, there is. Look, this is a craptacular movie. I know you may doubt it but watch it again as an adult. Still, the animatronics and puppets made by the Hensons is amazing and it's a fun movie even if it is REALLY dumb.

Miranda Kerr’s Mighty Cleav And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Miranda Kerr's cleavage lit up all of New York City. (The Superficial)

Tara Reid is actually looking pretty hot again. (TMZ)

Roselyn Sanchez wears a see-through outfit to the Latin Grammies. (Huffington Post)

Christina Milian's nip goes peek-a-boo. (Drunken Stepfather)

Paz Vega's cleavage is muy caliente! (Hollywood Tuna)

Lisalla Montenegro wins Instagram with this bikini pic. (Popoholic)

Greer Grammer is miss Golden Globes and I'd like to see her Golden Globes. (COED)

Alessandra Ambrosio, Jackie Guerrido, Rocsi Diaz And Others En Fuego At The Latin Grammies

I don't mind telling you that I love the Latin Grammies. Not so much for all of the Spanish-speaking music world patting itself on the back but because it brings out all the hottest Latinas. As a Latino myself it is great to have a chance to ogle a wide variety of my people for a change. Perennial hottie Alessandra Ambrosio was on hand looking as boobtacular as ever. She was wearing an outfit with a plunging neckline so deep that it almost reached her hoo-haa. Oh, Lord was there cleav. Jackie Guerrido was there as well looking her usual sexy self. That woman has got some legs that are muy caliente, mi amigos. I wouldn't mind one bit if those puppies were lying next to me on a cold night. Rosci Diaz had a dress on that was low cut so you could see her chi chis and high at the bottom so you could gander at her magnificent legs. Ay ya yay!

All in all it was a magical night. There were hotties too numerous to mention. It's like los Reyes Magos came early this year to bring the gift of boobs.

Bella Thorne And Jennifer Aniston Are White Hot Hotties at Horrible Bosses 2 Premiere

Sexy duo Jennifer Aniston and Bella Thorne were looking particularly boobtastic at the premiere of Horrible Bosses 2. Bella wore a pant suit thing with a super plunging neckline and, whoops, she forgot to wear a bra. The result is some cleav for the ages, my friends. Bella has some nice pert and perkies that I very much enjoy looking at. The rear was also missing from the top so you could marvel at her perfect back, (an underrated part of the female anatomy). Jennifer was also cleavtacular in her low cut dress. I've been a big fan of Jennifer Aniston's knockers ever since the early 90's when she was on Friends. Let's face it, those hooters and that famous hair cut launched her career. She's also friggin' sexy as hell in the last Horrible Bosses movie.

Not that I condone that type of sexual harassment behavior. But if I were Charlie Day I totally would have drilled that dentist.

Stretch Mark Barbie

Barbie is at the same time the most popular toy in the world and one of the most controversial. For decades feminists and physicians have criticized Barbie for creating an unrealistic body image in young girls. After all, Barbie's proportions are literally physically impossible. But it isn't only her measurements that aren't realistic. Many of the women we show on the site are damn near physically perfect. Narry a dimple of cellulite, a stretch mark, or a pimple on their flawless bodies. But, let's face it, your girlfriend and wife isn't like that. Very few human women are without the benefit of plastic surgery. That's what makes this new Barbie doll created by Nickolay Lamm. Her proportions are based on the average 19 year old woman. She also comes with stretch marks on her stomach and thighs. There are also sticker of pimples, tattoos, and scars to customize your Barbie.

His whole point is making a doll that looks like an actual woman. It's pretty cool but I doubt it would catch on with most girls. No 7 year old I know wants to dream that one day she will grow up to have stretch marks on her tummy.

Lucy Ford In See-Through Lingerie And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Lucy Ford in transparent underwear and covered topless? Yes, please! (Drunken Stepfather)

Kim Kardashian steals Kylie's bikini and looks equally as hot. (TMZ)

Former Playmate Tiffany Fallon can barely cover her funbags. (Hollywood Tuna)

When did Shailene Woodley turn into this leggy bombshell in GQ? (Popoholic)

Major Lady Gaga sideboob alert! (The Superficial)

Barbara Palvin is nekkid in Marie Claire Italy. (COED)

Do you want to see 23 year old Carrie Fisher's sideboob in that metal bikini? Of course you do! (Moviepilot)

Cassie Cardelle In A Sextastic Swimsuit For 138 Water

Model and actress Cassie Cardelle was looking all kinds of sexy in a one-piece pink bathing suit while shilling for everyone's favorite pricey agua, 138 Water. Cassie is seriously hot. Just look at those legs. One can imagine having those legs wrapped around one's waist can't one? I know this one can. She's also got herself some serious funbags under that suit. I hope to see more of them in the very near future. What's also great about these pics is the hint of camel toe that's created by the tightness of the suit. Some people prefer a bikini to a one-piece swimsuit exclusively. I'm not that particular. Sure, a bikini is a wonderful thing but sometimes it's what you DON'T see that makes something sexy. Just think back to the 90's and Pam Anderson running on the beach in that red one-piece on Baywatch. Are you going to tell me that wasn't the hottest thing ever?

No, of course not! So, let's all take some time to appreciate the one-piece swimsuit today by ogling Cassie's thingies in these pictures.