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Jack Tomas is a writer, filmmaker, and editor working in New York. He's originally from Houston, TX where he earned a BA in Theater and Communication from The University of St. Thomas. Later, he received an MA in Media Studies at The New School. Jack has worked several years as a professional filmmaker and his films have appeared in several film festivals including the Cannes Film Festival, The LA Comedy Shorts Festival, and The New York Independent Film Festival. He has also worked as a professional blogger since 2009 writing for Guanabee.com , Tuvez.com , Egotastic.com , and Directorslive.com . He lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn with his wife Marybec and two cats.

Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Rocky IV”

If He Dies, He Dies...

The first Rocky film is arguably the greatest sports film ever made. They say the best sports movie, and moments in sports in general, are when they become about more than the game. Rocky was certainly that. It was the story of a guy who just wants to go the distance with the champ, just to show he's good enough to be a contender. In the end, (38 year old spoiler alert), Rocky loses the fight. That didn't sit well with a lot of people. So, in Rocky II he wins the rematch with Apollo Creed. Then that did well so they made a third movie with Mr. T because...well...Mr. T. When it inevitably came time to make part IV, Sylvester Stallone tapped into the Reagan era zeitgeist to make a movie in which Rocky Balboa, a mamaluk from Philly, wins the Cold War.

At the beginning of Rocky IV, the Italian Stallion is the heavyweight champ of the world and is jacked beyond belief. In the vein of Cold War cooperation, the filthy commies of the U.S.S.R bring over their champ Ivan Drago, played brilliantly by Dolph Lungren. Along with his minder, played by Brigitte Lielsen, he represents the latest in technological training methods where as Rocky just punches meat in a fridge. During an exhibition match Ivan kills Rocky's former foe and now friend Apollo Creed. "If he dies...he dies" Ivan chillingly tells Rocky. But what Ivan really wants is the heavyweight belt and he has to go through Rocky to get it. But REALLY it's about godless communism vs. American democracy. Rocky trains in the snow while Ivan is hooked up to a lot of machines. "I will crush you", Ivan tells Rocky. But, of course, Rocky beats him and brings down the Soviet Union. Yo.

Rocky IV is an absurd film but fun. I was a kid during the 80's and Rocky IV was part of a series of jingoistic films that showed Americans as jacked up heroes battling evil commies. Stallone is a pretty good writer but a lousy director. The acting is overwrought and the action feels forced. Still, if you want to feel proud to be an American then look no further than Rocky IV.

Laura Cremaschi Bikinis in Miami Beach

Italian model and showgirl Laura Cremachi showed off her cannolis in a colorful bikini in Miami Beach. Laura has got a truly breathtaking set of funbags, or as the Italians say divertimento sacchetti. There is some pretty awesome sideboob and cleav action going on in these pics. You can clearly see why Italian politicians risk their careers for a chance to squeeze those chest pillows. But what I think is even more revealing in these pics is her booty. Mamma mia, what a caboose this girl has got! The bikini is almost a g-string, so you can see the wonder of her derriere almost in its entirety. The cloth also barely covers up her no-no spot and you can pretty much see the outline of everything. Laura just knows how to wear a bikini. It takes more than just going to the store and buying one and being naturally hot to pull off that look.

No, one must master the bikini arts. Laura knows exactly how to bikini. She's a black belt, or black g-string, in bikini.

Cara Santana Gets Her Workout In a Sports Bra and Tights

Actress and hot person Cara Santana was spotted leaving the gym in a sports bra and incredibly tight tights. Cara is in pretty amazing shape and her bare midriff is a thing of beauty. She has a serious six pack situation going on. Of all the bare midriffs we cover here on Egotastic, I think her's is my favorite. She's also sporting just a sports bra as a top. It looks like it might have been a bit brisk in that gym because she is nipping big time. Cara has got an excellent set of ta-tas on her. It's tough for a woman to get her boobs to look striking in a sports bra. Usually they get monoboob, but not Cara. That's a testament to how great her jugs are.

The tights are also very revealing. She's got some pretty serious camel toe action going on. Like, there is an entire caravan full of camel toe in her pants. The tights also accentuate her shapely booty. God bless women's sports gear.

Sveva Alviti Goes Topless In Miami Beach

 

Italian model and molto bella Sveva Alviti decided to let the girls out for some air in one of the topless beaches in Miami. She started off wearing a tiny white bikini, which in and of itself would have been seriously hot. Then she decided to take her top off because she's European and they are more sophisticated then us when it comes to letting your boobies fly free. Sveva's ta-tas are the very definition of perky and pert. They are perfect for her frame as she would look weird with mammoth yum yums. We've been talking a lot about Sveva lately as she is on a crusade to not wear her top around the world. She's an ambassador of sorts for the boobtacular arts. After all, is it not a woman's right to not have tan lines? As a feminist myself I celebrate her right to take her top off whenever she wants to.

All I know is that Sveva is one of the hottest models out there right now and I look forward to her future topless trips to the beach.

Maitland Ward In Malibu In A Skimpy Swimsuit

The lovely Maitland Ward was looking hot as F in a barely there swimsuit in Malibu. This thing is only technically an item of clothing. It's more of a long piece of cloth that's barely covering her naughty parts. Maitland has a spectacular pair of funbags that are shown off to great effect, you know, since they are mostly out. There is some serious cleav, enough to make a man want to excuse himself to the bathroom. The bottom is also quite revealing. It covers up her hoo-haa but that's about all. In the back her tight booty is accentuated. I always had a thing for Maitland Ward. People used to be all about Topanga on Boy Meets World but I always said that Maitland was way hotter. I know that that is a controversial statement but I stand by it.

So, the question is: what do you call a swimsuit that has less fabric than a bikini? You call it sexy. See what I did there?

The Trailer For Lifetime “Saved By The Bell” Movie Is Everything

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As we eagerly anticipate the coming of the Saved By The Bell unauthorized movie on Lifetime, we dream about how awesome it will be. And by awesome I mean god awful. Last week I showed you guys a scene from the film in which tensions run high at a photo shoot and Screech can't do push ups. In this trailer we see that many of the elements we love about the show will be there: the 90's fashion, Zack's big grey brick phone, the sexual tension between Lisa and Screech. I haven't been this excited about a crappy made for TV movie since Sharknado 2. OK, so that was only a couple of weeks ago but still. This film has everything. Comedy, romance, drama, and AC Slater's pecs. There really are no words for how excited I am.

Watch and tremble in terror.

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Weekend In Hawaii

Professional hot person Alessandra Ambrosio showed off her goodies in a bikini filled romp in Hawaii this weekend. Ah, to have the life of an international model. From what I can tell you spend most of your time in exotic locales wearing a bikini, (not that I'm complaining about that). No one wears a bikini better than Alessandra. Her jugs fill out any bikini top with their glorious boobtacularness. You can see some pretty amazing cleavage in the pictures where she is body surfing. It probably helps that her funbags also work as a flotation device. The bottoms are so small that you can see the cut of her hips heading down to her lady bits. This is an often ignored part of the female anatomy. That's because most girls aren't as chiseled as Alessandra. If only they were the world would be a better place.

Alessandra is one of our favorite girls here at Egotastic. That's because she is very often scantily clad and is super hot. She is doing the good work of being sexy every day.