We Go Apesh!t that Judy Greer Will Hide Her Face in ‘Dawn of the Planet of the Apes’

Judy Greer is one of those actresses that flies under the radar, but guys with sharp eyes always make sure to zero in on her when she’s on screen in order to file images away to be used for far more nefarious purposes later. So that’s why I was stoked hear courtesy of Vulture that she was cast as the female lead in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Matt Reeves follow-up to Rupert Wyatt’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes. (Hey, guys…isn’t dawn basically the exact same thing as rise? Just sayin’).

But unfortunately, she won’t actually be in the movie. She’ll be mo-capping the character of Cornelia, a primate and potential love interest for Caesar. The film, which already boasts an impressive cast of Jason Clarke and Gary Oldman, will be pulling an Avatar with Greer and hiding her under digital fur and monkey fists.

I’m getting a little tired of all these beautiful actresses thinking that donning prosthetics or digitally manipulating their appearance is okay. It’s not okay. It’s not. Okay? As you’ll see in our gallery, Judy Greer is just one of many Hollywood actresses to break into my spank bank and steal back all the memories I’ve stored of them by altering their appearance for a film.

‘Buckwild’ Star Learns that Not Showing Up to Your Court Date is One Way to Stay in the News

Ah, Salwa Amin, ‘star’ of MTV’s social experiment in civilization-ending, Buckwild, has been arrested yet again for her connection to a drug raid last month. According to TMZ, Amin was brought back in cuffs again thanks to a ‘bench warrant, which was issued after she allegedly blew off a court date stemming from the first arrest.’ That first arrest we told you about felt like one of those ‘very special episodes’ of a 1991-version of Buckwild, in which Amin and one of her friends were busted in a raid for trying to move some oxycodone and heroin with intent to sell. Unfortunately, unlike the show she ‘stars’ in, this was not made up by a team of story producers.

I’m also going to assume that since she’s being held without bail, her hearing, trial, conviction and subsequent time in the slammer will be a much anticipated MTV ‘reality’ series this fall, Shiv.

There’s Some Crazy Sh!t Going Down in the ‘Wolverine’ International Trailer (VIDEO)

The Wolverine
The Wolf Pack is Back

Whoa. Well those six seconds of images we got yesterday of The Wolverine hardly managed to be anywhere near as crazy as the actual trailer. And I’ve got to say that it’s…different. It barely even looks like an X-Men movie. Some crazy Japanese guy who’s dying offers Logan a chance at death for saving his life back when someone nuked the fridge in Hiroshima during WWII and then all hell breaks loose. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume the guy’s ‘gift’ was really so he could take Logan’s immortality for himself. Just a stab in the dark.

What’s more striking though is the story. After four movies dealing with Wolverine’s curse, what a breath of fresh air that for once he’ll finally have some vulnerability and somewhere for his character to go. I’m excited by what I’m seeing thus far. How about you?

A Lot of Steroids Went into the ‘Pain & Gain’ Red Band Trailer (VIDEO)

Pain & Gain
No pain...No gain

The last time I looked forward to a Michael Bay movie was back when that very first teaser trailer for Transformers came out a year ahead of the film’s release. You know the one: A Transformer appears on in front of the recently landed Mars probe and smashes it. Pretty epic, right? Well then the movie came out. Then the next two came out. And you couldn’t pay me to care about a Michael Bay movie. But now, he’s got a new Red Band trailer for a film he made with Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Mackie and Dwayne Johnson and I have to admit that I’m sorta, kinda, really down to see it.

Daniel Lugo is a regular bodybuilder who works at the Sun Gym along with his friend Adrian Doorbal. Sick of living the poor life Lugo concocts a plan to kidnap Victor Kershaw, a regular at the gym and a rich spoiled business man, and extort him by means of torture. With the help of recently released criminal Paul Doyle, the ‘Sun Gym Gang’ successfully gets Kershaw to sign over all his finances, but when Kershaw survives an attempted murder from the gang, he hires private investigator Ed Du Bois to catch the criminals after the Miami Police Department fails to do so. Based on a true story.

Also starring Ed Harris, Rebel Wilson and Tony Shalhoub, Pain & Gain opens April 26.

I’d Conquer the Iron Throne to Conquer the Women of ‘Game of Thrones’

I’d like to say that the main reason I watch Game of Thrones is because I’m truly invested in the story. But to be honest, it took me two-and-a-half seasons before I realized the show didn’t take place in San Francisco in the 60s. I was a little preoccupied by all the exotic women who kept popping up on screen.

You’ve got swingin’ scissor sistering brothel girls, dragon ladies, witches giving birth to smoke monsters and a dragon lady with a body tighter than the chinks in Brienne of Tarth’s armor. And they all came out with very little on to celebrate the season 3 premiere at one of the many screenings held around the country this week. And we’ve got them all.

The Wolverine Teaser Teaser

The Wolverine
What A Tease

‘Les Miserables’ Gets Its Own Honest Trailer Musical Treatment (VIDEO)

Les Miz

Screen Junkie’s Honest Trailer series has done a good job at nit picking eviscerating everything wrong with movies you thought you enjoyed. Remember when you thought you enjoyed Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises? Well you were wrong. Just watch those episodes and see why. But in this week’s episode, they’ve really out done themselves. Because this week they’ve gone Broadway.

In their breakdown of Les Miserables on the heels of its DVD release this week, almost the entire trailer is actually sung with musical accompaniment; tearing down plot points, casting, and basically ripping it to shreds through the majesty of song. Enjoy!