Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Sara Malakul Lane Topless Nekkid Natural Boudoir Bosomy Hotness

 

You really just need to say Thai-English girl and I'm already onboard for whatever. A quick peek, a year long schooner trip around the globe. Sign me up. When that exotic beauty turns out to be Sara Malakul Lane of Sharktopus fame, well then, I'm erasing everybody else's name on the list and moving myself right to the top. She really is one bodaciously endowed brunette sextastic something.

Looking all kinds of bedroom eyes, and bedroom body, in this topless Nate Walton photoshoot, Sara shows why her destiny in Tinsel Town will be far greater than just kitschy Syfy flicks. Oh, no, this star is rising much much fast, despite, you know, being top heavy in the best way possible. Sara, don't take my catatonic leering the wrong way. It just means I care for you as a person. Enjoy.

Courtney Stodden Yams Up for Foundation Event

It's hard to imagine in my mini-sized brain that anybody actually puts together a red carpet fundraiser event and utters the words, 'We really need to land Courtney Stodden to make this a success'. Nevertheless, there she is, with her XL sized udders righteously barely contained in her revealing dress top at some charitable event that looked far too fancy for my crocs and ripped jeans formal wear. I will give this to Courtney, she creates visuals that will not be overlooked. Such is the power of the boobtastic by its very primal defnition.

Credit is due to Courtney's mom and public rep who books her for these fancy gigs. She wouldn't have made it past the Deacon at my school dances, not with her demon's handiwork hanging out so brazenly. Then again, I would have definitely asked her to dance. Something slow. Like a Hall & Oates ballad. There's being picky and then there's been a horny teen. Never the twain shall meet. Enjoy.

 

Vanessa Hudgens Braless Green Dress Could Save the Planet

Vanessa Hudgens took her hot little minxy self up to San Francisco for some kind of green event. I don't know what exactly, but she wore green and is probably going to save the planet from the bad guys and, most importantly of all, she wasn't wearing any bra in her very stunning grown up gown. I'm a huge fan of Vanessa Hudgens. Seeing her recently set of naughty selfies that I actually just seconds later now deny seeing, I'm an even bigger fan. Vanessa can protest all she likes. She's hot and she loves to get nekkid. Sadly, not at this formal event.

Vanessa Hudgens has the power and hot body skill set to be a real game changer in the world of the sextastic. We've seen this talent since her teen days. She's not the High School Musical girl, she's the girl you're lucky to have as your girlfriend if but for some brief, passionate period of time. I hope she lets loose more often and in more legal circumstances. This braless evening is a solid start. Enjoy.

Tessa Fowler And Her Topless Cakes O’ Goodness for a Mammarial Monday

 

As my mom used to say, sometimes you just need a big ole set of lovely honkers in your face to make you happy. I think she was doing phone sex or something in the other room. Whatever it took to pay the bills, bless her heart. But no truer words have ever been spoken. How can you not lay your peeps upon the bodacious wonderments of Tessa Fowler and her squishy cakes and not feel warm and comforted all over. You don't need those pills to relieve stress. Delve your soul into a round mount of chesty sweet pillows and feel the anxiety leaving your body like so many fans at a Jaguars game. Sorry, that was called for, and yet, uncalled for.

Tessa Fowler reminds us all that it's the icing on the cake that you remember the most. The first taste, the last lick, the sweet creamy buttery goodness. Yes, I'm talking about her ta-ta's. Whoa, I do feel like I'm wrapped in a warm protective blanket. Bless you and your bodacious pair for sharing, Tessa. You are my Nobel Peace Prize winner. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out much more of Tessa's teats on her official fan page.)

Penelope Cruz Cleavetastic Hotness for Esquire

Penelope Cruz is another one of our brunette sultry Latina timeless beauties. She just seems to be getting hotter and hotter with each passing season. I suppose I could blame this on how relatively more desperate I'm becoming, but I'm pretty sure the rest of you agree with me as to Penelope's veteran hot mommy status.

Featured flashing her deep sweet cleave in Esquire magazine, Penelope reminds us all that pretty much every running off to Spain and making love to a beautiful Iberian girl fantasy involves somebody who looks an awful lot like Penelope Cruz. And most likely Penelope's ample bosom and fine female form. If you can't feel her hair waving over you and she yells out the names of the saints in Spanish, you're simply not fantasizing strongly enough. Enjoy.

Sofia Vergara Sextastic Shapes Behind the Scenes of Her Shape Magazine Shoot

Sofia Vergara is the wind beneath my wings. I've actually never truly understood what that lyric means, but if it means you'd like to strip somebody nekkid slowly over the course of hours, pour honey into every nook and cranny on their ridiculously curvy body, then play Hungry Pooh Bear through the rest of the evening, then it fits with Sofia and me.

Sofia Vergara has one amazing spread in the current edition of Shape magazine, and more impressively, was showing off her preening goodies behind the scenes of her shoot. Less airbrush, more Sofia doing what she does best. Being forty and making every man in the world want to shtup her. It sounds so much more subtle in Yiddish. Enjoy.

New Faces, New Bodies, New Funbags in the Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO)

 

I love it when we get some new blood in the Boob Tube Roundup. Not that there aren't some evergreen ladies of the ta-ta's I delight in peeping on the relatively smaller screen in our favorite almost entirely cable TV shows each week. But it's always and forever a treat to be introduced to new hot mostly nekkid bodies on new television shows, some of which are quite good stories by the way. The blessed boobtastic is just the tasty icing on the cake.

This week's Boob Tube Roundup includes Elizabeth McLaughlin and Emayatzy Corinealdi showing off in Amazon's Hand of God, beautiful Klara Issova flashing just a quick but memorable bit of chest puppies in The Transporter, Ruth Wilson taking it in many ways in The Affair, and Eline Porto and some sultry sweet teats in the Sudamericana episodic, A Segunda Vez. Learn your new ladies, people. There will most definitely be a quiz. Enjoy.