Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Arianny Celeste Bodacious Bikini Boobtastic on Miami Beach

Even the L.A. girls are getting into the Miami Beach spirit this summer, including ever-sextastic and hot bodied Arianny Celeste, my first and favorite UFC ring girl with the form of a goddess. Arianny took her smoking hot bikini body for a test run along the sandy shores of South Florida just turning boys into men and men into sniveling beggars. It's both an art and a science.

Arianny obliged us gentleman oglers with some solid booty side posing, thumper up, as well as some cartwheels and flying spins for the more adventurous peepers among our ranks. She really does create an audible buzz everywhere she prances. I think it's the sound of air escaping the lungs of the primordial beasts within. That or static from the Latin music channels in Miami. Arianny, you are so especially hot. Please come swim in my backyard. I'll dig you a pool. Enjoy.

 

Charisma Carpenter Topless Birthday Silent Nekkid Protest on Instagram In All Her Glory

 

The legendarily veteran hot Charisma Carpenter took a stand on her birthday by posting a topless photo of her extraordinarily hot body and posting it to Instagram, a Facebook company, that abides by the same Taliban views on the female body as its parent company, meaning censure and loss of accounts for showing nipples. It's wrong, everybody knows it's wrong, but Facebook earns twenty million dollars a second, so, yeah, they're not feeling the need to change. So be it.

I normally don't show sweet un-starred treats on the homepage of Egotastic! It bothers the people who sell laundry detergent a whole lot, even though they don't think people who appreciate the female anatomy deserve laundry detergent in the first place. In honor of Charisma's character, confidence, and most importantly, those ridiculously hot jugs, here she is presented in her full glory.

(Thank you to so many of you EgoReaders who snagged this photo of Charisma before it was removed.)

Irina Shayk White Panties Peek on the Set of Extra

You don't get much more upskirt than Irina Shayk and her floating wind-assisted skirt on the set of Extra. The ridiculously hot Russian was at Universal Studios promoting the upcoming Hercules movie when Mother Nature gave us a benevolent blast and titled Irina's flimsy summer skirt up to the heavens, revealing her own slice of eternal sunshine in the form of white panties over her precious tender loving area.

Irina Shayk deserves all the notoriety she's receiving. For the past few years, she's brought us so much joy with her sultry hot looks and crazy steamy body parts. I can only wish her the best as she ventures into film, and hopefully many more wardrobe malfunctions to come. So damn hot! Enjoy.

Jessica Lowndes Bikini Booty Hotness, Lady Gaga Flashing Bare Parts, Lea Michele Bikini Sextastic Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

As celebrities are getting a little more frisky with the social media moderators not catching all the nekkid bits, expect a bit more from the celebrity showgirls in terms of getting away with things that would make Zuckerberg throw his strawberry milk into the fire in anger. It's definitely going to happen at some point as competition heats up to get the most eyeballs among selfies. What was once a novelty is now a fierce battle, with we, the gentleman oglers, the only certain winners.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Lady Gaga breaking many rules flashing nip and possibly lady nest in the mirror, Lea Michele sharing her hot bikini body from her vacation, Selena Gomez doing much the same in her bikini, Arianny Celeste going ring girl sextastic in her two piece, Elizabeth Gillies wicked hot, Irina Shayk bikini cleavy showoff, Jessica Lowndes and her friend Ashley Buckelew flashing crazy hot bikini asstastic at Arrowhead, and much much more. You owe it to the Apollo astronauts who pretended to land on that pretend light in the sky we all think is a moon forty-five years ago to check out each and every one of these en fuego social media candids. Enjoy.

Bridget Malcolm Just Signed with Victoria’s Secret, Now She’s Topless in V, Glory Be

 

It was just last Christmas when young Aussie model Bridget Malcolm got her big break as a bikini model for her debut with Victoria's Secret. Now, we get to see her slender, but sextastic frame bared in a Mario Testino shoot for V Magazine. That's some pretty heady stuff. Not to mention body stuff. And Bridget has that going on. Yes, she's a slight framed hottie, but she's young and a fashion model and nothing I can't mitigate while I feed her hearty sandwiches all winter long as she accidentally remains trapped in my high mountain top cabin in the woods.

There's nothing better really than when we get to meet a new sweetheart and bing, bang, boom, there are her bare funbags for impression directly into the forever libido. I'm a happy man today, a spring in my step, and a slight strain of the retinal cones. But in the service of a greater good. Bridget Malcolm, you are that greater good. Enjoy.

Caitlin O’Connor Bikini Body Exhibition at Midnight

Our friend Garry from SunofHollywood.com knows how to pick 'em. And how to shoot them. Case in point, his midnight beach shoot of TV extra hottie Caitlin O'Connor. You might recognize Caitlin as the 'hot girl' on any number of TV shows in the past few years, or just from her Top Hotties honorifics from Maxim Magazine. At this moment, we're recognizing her as the curvaceous blonde being filmed on the beach in Malibu at midnight. Sweet idea.

There's something alluring about the out of context look of a fine female bikini form in the dead of night at the beach. It's incongruous, if that word means it's making my private parts tingle. I think it does. Caitlin, it's damn nice to meet you. I do have blankets and hot chocolate in the back of my van if you'd like to get warm. Just tell your loved ones you're going to Guatemala on a roadie and should be back next Spring. That'll give me a good head start. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne Taking the Wet Swimsuit Nipple Poking Plunge (And Sapphic Plunge As Well?)

You know I'm a man who loves himself some lesbionics. It is after all ironically the greatest gift to men ever. Or this man. So I'm inclined to believe the rampant speculation and unfounded journalism of our friends at WWTDD who are basically calling Selena Gomez and Cara Delevingne joint kayakers to the Isle of Lesbos, if you catch my obvious drift.

I don't know if all of that is true. Clearly the last girl Cara went yachting with was Michelle Rodriguez, and, well, okay it was true in that instance. I do know Selena was looking all kinds of nipply minxy moist and booty-inspiring in her one-piece white swimsuit, in contrast to Cara who went with the model bikini, as both leapt off the side of their yacht into the Mediterranean waters. It sure looks fun. All of it. Every little lesbionic loving part. I'm either jealous or aroused or both. I'm so confused, in a good day. Enjoy.