Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Allie Mason Topless Beach Girl Perfection Pimping the Pricey Water

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In my general experience, an unbuttoned jean jacket isn’t going to cover much on a girl with perfect funbags running along the beach. I’d call this Allie Mason peekaboos on the Pacific something of a wardrobe malfunction, but I was born many yesterdays ago. The fact that is was planned perhaps makes it even that much more delightful of a flash, though given how outstanding Allie’s body is topless in a bikini bottom I’d say it would be epic any old way.

The 138 bottled water odd photographer clan just keeps on rolling along, adding in some sweet topless visuals in an effort to either sell water nobody seems to be able to find, or just to get hot girls naked on the beach. I’m not so sure about the former, I definitely applaud the latter. It’s too bad the hot models never fell for my Invisible Shirts company, where I suggest the girls wear my Invisible Shirts to pitch them to prospective buyers. Oh, how they punched me in the nose. My destiny was not to be smooth. Certainly not as smooth as Allie Mason. Damn, girl. Yep, she deserves a damn, girl. Enjoy
Photo Credit: FameFlynet

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Hailee Steinfeld Cleavy Fashion Bikini Tops for Coming Out Party

Talk about getting all grow’d up. The barely legal formerly Little Hailee Steinfeld is quickly moving away from her cheeky innocent teen girl thespianic persona into one alluring young model type benefitting from her combination of acting skills and good looks. You start mixing in a bit of a flashing streak and we could be on the verge of something truly spectacular here.

Hailee made her first move into the land of allure with this skin baring pictorial for Flaunt magazine. Not exactly enough to get you arrested by the Puritanical police, but enough to get many a man into an early stage of hearts a flutter, especially those who have been waiting for Hailee to break out into something more comfortable. My Spidey senses are tingling. This is going to get even better. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Flaunt Magazine

Glamour Model Becky Dee Is Enjoying Her Poolside Topless Vacation (VIDEO)


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Oh, those Welsh girls do know how to boobtastic party. Including the likes of heavenly brunette Becky Dee who took the time out of her sunny poolside vacation to take some dramatically daring and jiggly faptastic selfies to share on her social media account. Why is Beck do darn giving? Because this world is much better than you think. In funbags, there is hope.

As if the photos weren’t enough, Becky created one of the more masturbatory of masterpieces of short form video with a self-shot look at her bouncing flouncing melons fresh from the pool. I’d rank this up there with the original Godfather on lists of cinematic achievements. Though I’d say I’ve now officially watched Becky’s jiggly work more times than the Coppola classic. A dazzler she is indeed. Bless you, Becky Dee. If sharing means caring then you care more than most. Enjoy.

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Miley Cyrus In Sports Bra And Spandex Flashing Her Toned Single Lady Abs

Miley Cyrus is single and ready to mingle. Or at least hike and show off her toned body in a sports bra and Spandex. That’s the modern day equivalent of going to a cocktail mixer. Probably healthier really is you think about the exercise. Certainly healthier for us gentleman oglers who get a chance to peep her toned bare midriff and see her petite body in physical action.

It was just this week Miley announced she and Arnie’s son were taking a break because that sounds better than breaking up. I can’t imagine being the significant other of either of these two celebrities and celebrity kids is any walk in the park. Let alone a hike in tight Spandex and bra tops. But, I digress, and now return simply to inelegant leering. My specialty and primary form of exercise. Miley, you won’t stay single long. Try to revel in your independence. And perhaps some more nudes would be a good start. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Vivica A. Fox Short Shorter Shortest Dress at DWTS After Party

Apparently Vivica A. Fox went to the store and asked for the shortest dress they had. I like that. It’s a simple request to produce a less than simple stunning result for a big Hollywood party. God gave you legs for more than just walking. Show those stems and try to pretend you don’t see me trying to see your color of undies. It’s just a force of habit. I hope you see it as a compliment.

Vivica decided it was worth a shot stealing the show at the Dancing With the Stars party celebrating the fact that ABC still has a show that people watch and it’s about dancing which nobody ever saw coming. I’ll drink to that. Or at least dancing, which has been giving some of our fairest ladies the finest looking legs for countless generations. Whatever Vivica is doing is working too. I like to think my trips to the fridge are also keeping my quads tip top. Though I’d probably not ask for the shortest outfit in the store. You’re doing great work, Ms. Fox. Keep up the sly. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF/FameFlynet/Splash

Hey, Bill, Whatcha Watching? Oh, Ronda, Olivia, and Emily in Various State of Undress (VIDEO)

I think I meant to share this with you over the weekend but I’m kind of remembering basketball and cocktails and then losing interest in things related to anything other than the couch. I’m pretty sure I would’ve slept until Tuesday if my trusted dog Mr. Bottomfingers doesn’t start biting at my privates when he needs to whizz badly. But, I’m learning to live up to my word. So, for those of you who asked, or those of you who wish to celebrate Earth Day by checking out some ridiculously hot celebrity ladies in motion, here’s what I’ve just been watching (well, was on Sunday), I’m only human.

Well, today it’s Ronda Rousey taking off her top for Buffalo jeans (sorry about the dude), Emily Ratajkowski see-through sextastic touching herself goodness, and Olivia Wilde in desperately hot shape and showing off. Menage-a-quatre at Bill’s house. Ronda, Emily, Olivia, oh my god. My mind just exploded. I think that was my mind. Enjoy.

Bella Hadid See-Through Body Suit for Elle

Don’t forget the Bella! Younger sister of Gigi Hadid, the barely legal Bella Hadid, is making her own waves in the world of faptastic modeling, such as her very latest see-through bit of wonderment for Elle magazine.

As you know, I’m a rather avid collector of a women’s fashion magazines for a guy with a hairy set of bobos (TMI, yes, I’m aware). But I’d call this a rather risque out of the box bit of eyeball popping visuals from a model just hitting the big girl market. It bodes quite well for her future photographic endeavors and speaks to the general Hadid sister penchant for showing off their fine borne and shorn bodies. I won’t say I have a case of the full on lusts just yet, but now that Bella is eighteen, I will intimate a whole bunch of prurient naughty things about sextastic young women in sheer body suits. The bomb. Get it on. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Elle Magazine