Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Rachel Hilbert Plays Pool Topless, Happy Balls in Corner Pocket

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SI swimsuit hot stuff Rachel Hilbert continues to reveal her long and lean and sextastic female form by way of some more than alluring Tyler Kandel black and white photos, this time stretching and preening and ultimately working the pool table quite topless in this short, but epic mini-series of photos of the extreme hottie.

Rachel is one of the growing number of even American models who realize the international scene requires a lack of modesty in terms of showing off the half-monty by way of mammaries. If you’ve got them, flaunt them, it really only does make you look that much more beautiful, speaking on behalf of the millions of men with their eyeballs popping out at the moment. Don’t hide your blessings from the rest of the world. Share them as dads do Lifesavers with their sons after big sports losses. Ta-ta’s won’t rot anybody’s teeth, though they will have a little chew if nuzzled properly. Just so damn hot. Enjoy.

Photo Credit:Tyler Kandel

Julianne Hough Wardrobe Malfunction Leaving DWTS After Party

I see London, I see France, I see Julianne Hough nipples. Yes I do. The blonde hottie who along with her brother are staples of the Dancing With the Stars TV franchise revealed her headlights by way of a wardrobe malfunction with her dress and the current vogue in Hollywood to go braless. Even the good girls are doing it, which is why we are blessed to see good girl Julianne’s sweet nubs peeking out from behind her sheer dress. If this were more a routine part of ballroom dancing, I might just watch.

Once more I am forced to eat my words regarding the craptastic uselessness of reality TV and dancing shows specifically. While the fare is completely not intended for purveyors of the traditional male lifestyle, the byproducts by way of sextastic hotties with delicious bodies continue to be unexpected blessings. In short, I can live with them if you can. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Charlotte McKinney Busty Arm Bra And Shiny Swimsuit Hot Body Wonderments

Charlotte McKinney is really starting to grow on me. This prolific shooting and passion inducing busty blonde just seems to want it really bad. I want it to, Charlotte, so I know how you feel. Though the things we want might be different. Charlotte wants to make a name and body for herself. I want her to be successful then kiss her hiney both literally and figuratively while discussing great novels neither of us have read. We can do it by the pool, while discussing optimal arm bra positions to barely cover her splendid bazoongas.

Featured in the latest edition of Socialite, Charlotte McKinney shows why her ambition matched with these sweet goods is going to take her super far in the world of looking awesome. Yes, looking awesome has it’s own world. Sextastic is but an island in this world that you can swim too, if you’re ridiculously hot enough and or your funbags can be used as a flotation device. And right in the middle of that island is my rustic cabin where the caretaker lives. No, that’s not me, but I’m going to push him over the falls and take his place, once I’m done growing this sinister mustache. Charlotte, you are the bomb. Though somehow I’m the one feeling ready to explode. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Socialite

Irina Shayk And Adriana Lima Hug Dreamily At The Chopard Gold Party

I don’t know much about the Chopra watch brand other than I’m guessing their Gold timepieces cost more than my Hello Kitty knockoff Swatch and I failed to receive my invitation to their swank bit of party night in Cannes. Meanwhile, half of the hot models in the city seemed to get their parchment copy with time, date, and location. Hmm, this could be a conspiracy.

There were a number of hot and lovelies gracing the red carpet of this event including Sara Sampaio, Michelle Rodriguez, and Lindsay Ellingson, but when Irina Shayk and Adriana Lima hugged I nearly spit out my gonads. Wait, what? I mean, it was a very emotional and heartfelt moment that reminded me of the humanity inside all of us, also, the boners. I’m just being honest. Those two girls hugging comes straight out of my many a REM sleep night fantasy where supermodels hug each other then rock-paper-scissor to see who gets the first round of Uncle Bill magic. Maybe a hair pulling instead of rock-paper-scissors. My dreams are flexible. So are these girls. I bet this party was better than horrible. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Julija Steponaviciute Topless Athletics All Taut and Bothered On The Beach

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Not to be confused with my future bride Edita Vilkeviciute, the lovely lass and brunette statuesque Lithuanian babe Julija Steponaviciute is a couple years young and very much the tall hot bodied equal of my future betrothed. I know the names are a challenge, but if you can learn them for your favorite NBA basketball stars, you can learn them for wicked hot lanky fashion models from the Baltic with little to no fear or removing their tops for added passion inducement.

Featured topless for the current edition of Elle Belgium, Julija shows off her taut and tight sporty side, which naturally needs not include a bra or top. I wish more of our athletic diva would take note of such advice. Tops are definitely optional during sporting events. Let Julija be your guide. Girls like her don’t just run along topless on the beach every day now. But if you find a beach where this is the case, I’d just go ahead and pitch your tend and stay awhile. You’ve found heaven on earth. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Elle Belgium

Amanda Seyfried White Panties Peek For Vogue

Oh you saucy minx. Our Nordic petite princess Amanda Seyfried certainly has been largely out of the public eye of late, but she must be coming out again soon in theaters because her compelling and alluring pale form has started to hit the newsstands again, including this feminine little bit of panties flashing in Vogue magazine.

Amanda Seyfried is one of those girls you wish could be your girlfriend for a month because, let’s face it, that first month really is the best and even your dream girl might start to chafe you a bit after a month. Okay, maybe two, because she travels for work. And if she promises to flash her white panties around the house on the hour. There has to be rules. Without rules there is just chaos. And sloppy lovemaking and donuts, for one solid month. Then who knows. We can break up and get back together a couple times because we miss the sex, and the donuts. I’m kind of ready for this, Amanda. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Vogue

Jemima Kirke Photoshoot Instagram Tease

Jemima Kirke from the show Girls also happens to be good friends with show creator Lena Dunham. Hold that against her if you wish. I’m more interested in Jemima the randy girl who likes to take revealing photos, as in this Instagram tease set where Jemima’s lady parts are covered tantalizingly so by objects who I’d like to wish away from this earth.

Jemima is by no means a shy girl so I’m supposing this tease and cover routine is something of a commentary or necessity related to Zuckerberg fearing women’s bodies as a cat does the water. Albeit, if thrown into the water, a cat will actually swim rather than spasm, feint, and drown in his own fears. I think. Jemima has quite the nekkid feature ready body and we have and will see more of in the future. But, for now, we settle on a hot bodied tease. There’s something to be said for foreplay and that thing to be said is, ‘When exactly is this over so the good stuff can start?’. Please don’t utter that aloud to your wife or girlfriend. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Cass Bird