Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Vivica A. Fox Short Shorter Shortest Dress at DWTS After Party

Apparently Vivica A. Fox went to the store and asked for the shortest dress they had. I like that. It’s a simple request to produce a less than simple stunning result for a big Hollywood party. God gave you legs for more than just walking. Show those stems and try to pretend you don’t see me trying to see your color of undies. It’s just a force of habit. I hope you see it as a compliment.

Vivica decided it was worth a shot stealing the show at the Dancing With the Stars party celebrating the fact that ABC still has a show that people watch and it’s about dancing which nobody ever saw coming. I’ll drink to that. Or at least dancing, which has been giving some of our fairest ladies the finest looking legs for countless generations. Whatever Vivica is doing is working too. I like to think my trips to the fridge are also keeping my quads tip top. Though I’d probably not ask for the shortest outfit in the store. You’re doing great work, Ms. Fox. Keep up the sly. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF/FameFlynet/Splash

Hey, Bill, Whatcha Watching? Oh, Ronda, Olivia, and Emily in Various State of Undress (VIDEO)

I think I meant to share this with you over the weekend but I’m kind of remembering basketball and cocktails and then losing interest in things related to anything other than the couch. I’m pretty sure I would’ve slept until Tuesday if my trusted dog Mr. Bottomfingers doesn’t start biting at my privates when he needs to whizz badly. But, I’m learning to live up to my word. So, for those of you who asked, or those of you who wish to celebrate Earth Day by checking out some ridiculously hot celebrity ladies in motion, here’s what I’ve just been watching (well, was on Sunday), I’m only human.

Well, today it’s Ronda Rousey taking off her top for Buffalo jeans (sorry about the dude), Emily Ratajkowski see-through sextastic touching herself goodness, and Olivia Wilde in desperately hot shape and showing off. Menage-a-quatre at Bill’s house. Ronda, Emily, Olivia, oh my god. My mind just exploded. I think that was my mind. Enjoy.

Bella Hadid See-Through Body Suit for Elle

Don’t forget the Bella! Younger sister of Gigi Hadid, the barely legal Bella Hadid, is making her own waves in the world of faptastic modeling, such as her very latest see-through bit of wonderment for Elle magazine.

As you know, I’m a rather avid collector of a women’s fashion magazines for a guy with a hairy set of bobos (TMI, yes, I’m aware). But I’d call this a rather risque out of the box bit of eyeball popping visuals from a model just hitting the big girl market. It bodes quite well for her future photographic endeavors and speaks to the general Hadid sister penchant for showing off their fine borne and shorn bodies. I won’t say I have a case of the full on lusts just yet, but now that Bella is eighteen, I will intimate a whole bunch of prurient naughty things about sextastic young women in sheer body suits. The bomb. Get it on. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Elle Magazine

From Russia With Lust: Helga Lovekaty Topless Hair Pulling For Wicked Bondage Shoot

Click To See Uncensored

In addition to a girl I was dating pre-informing me that if I ever brought out cuffs, she’d kick me in the nuts and call the cops, the best thing to come out of 50 Shades of Grey is all the hot knockoff homage pictorials. It didn’t take much to remind the avid hot girl photographer that bondage and nudity were going to be very big in the first half of 2015, if not for the rest of time and space. Hence, a peekaboo hot look at the BDSM antics of Russian model Helga Lovekaty. The name alone sparks intrigue, the smoking hot body without any clothes sparks much much more.

Shot for Marvin Studios, this ball gag and leather collar bit of fetish time fun isn’t for everyone, but it certainly is for someone. The rapture inducing boobtastic and body amazing of Helga Lovekaty would look ever so perfect in just about any setting. A bit of consensual hair pulling is definitely one of them. I can’t imagine this decreases the number of people experimenting with bondage. Though I would recommend finding a girl as sextastic as Helga before beginning the process. It certainly can’t hurt. I bet it helps. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Mavrin Studios


Mai Ping Guo Curvy In Bikinis, Shaving Cream, And A Seatbelt Bra, Yep, All Those Things

If you happen to dig our tour of the orient by way of the region’s most sextastic celebrities and models and all-around girls you’d build a boat to sail to visit, you will most definitely delight in the visual wonderment of Chinese glamour girl Mai Ping Guo who takes the time to make her photos count. That is the bikini standard on her hot body, and then a few fetish items as a kicker just so you remember her name, and face, and that ridiculously hot body. I’ve pretty much decided who my third Asian bride will be, her first name is Mai, her last name is OMG.

I’ve been performing poorly in recent time on our reverse hottie Asian invasion. It’s not just because my worldly watercraft, the S.S. Egotastic! has been in dry dock trying to remove the sweatstains of my slave crew rowers, I’ve just been globally too narrow in my focus of late. There is so much undiscovered passion inducing female allure on the Eastern continent. It’s time to strap the binocs back on and get to scouting. This is my sworn duty. Enjoy.

Sienna Eschews Clothing in Her Lower East Side Apartment


Click To See Uncensored

The Purple magazine diary of models on the Lower East Side baring their natural wares in their apartments continues to amuse and intrigue me. Those are fancy words for making one crazy horny. As is the case with their latest model exposed, Sienna. When you have but one name, you better look darn good without your clothes on. Well, situation confirmed for Sienna who reminds us once again that the best apartment ever is the one with the sextastic nekkid young woman hanging out in it.

I’ve had many apartments and many roommates, none that quite match up to this blonde natural hottie. If so, perhaps I’d been more gentlemanly about not using all the hot water or putting the seat down. I’m situationally couth. And the sight of a sweet unclothed model is exactly the situation I’m speaking about. This might be the time to remind people that I’m not a role model for your children. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Kristin Gallegos For Purple Diary

Kelly Brook in Spandex. Red Alert. This Is Not A Drill.

I could live inside Kelly Brook’s cleavage and be a very happy homeowner. Renter perhaps. Or evicted renter when she finds me. The point is, that bodacious bosom on Kelly Brook has inspired man a man to fanciful dreams and various lovely bits of imagination. When she dons the Spandex for a hike in Los Angeles, you can be those creative jets get sped up to red line.

Kelly has been working out like a gym freak ever since landing her role on NBC. TV cameras do not treat the lady body kindly and Kelly has managed to maintain her curves while tightening up some of the squeezable spots that I love, but I realize her masters on the small screen don’t abide. Let’s just say she’s been sweating hard this past year to get into even finer shape. I’m prepared to help mop up the sweaty areas once I move in. Kelly, call me, I’m in the book. No, not that book. The one on stranger danger. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews