Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Aline Bernardes Bikini Booty Leads a Tour of the New Brazilian World Cup Stadium

By Bill Swift | June 18, 2013 @ 10:29 am

Asstastic!

Aline Bernardes Bikini Booty in Front of World Cup Opener Stadium in Brazil

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While not everybody in Brazil is seemingly happy about the financial situation regarding the upcoming 2014 World Cup in Brazil, soccer fans and fans of hot Brazilian women with major league booties are reveling in the pending festivities. I'd count myself in both those camps. And to get us started an entire year early, Brazilian bombshell brunette model Aline Bernardes has slipped into something a little more comfortable, a tiny booty-baring bikini, to give a quick sneak peek at the half-built main World Cup stadium.

Now, I know you're not supposed to use your hands in the sport of soccer, but staring at Aline and that bodacious dumper of hers, well, I'm inclined to commit a few flagrant fouls upon myself in or around the nets. I can not wait for Brazil 2014. The Egotastic! Winnebago is already gassed up and ready to go. Enjoy.

SOCCER DOES TEND TO BRING OUT THE BOOBTASTIC HOTTIES

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Kate Upton Cleavetastic for Choppers Summer Campaign

By Bill Swift | June 18, 2013 @ 9:59 am

Kate Upton Boobs in Choppers Summer 2013 Campaign June 2013

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We had a rather rousing, short-lived discussion in the office here yesterday over who has nicer melons, Kate Upton or Kelly Brook. Hey, this is what we talk about here during our downtime. So, it's just like our uptime. I say short-lived discussion because after yesterday, we had the best, clearest view of the amazing Kelly Brook funbags ever seen before, while we remain completely devoid of anything closely posed and topless for Kate Upton. So the verdict remains in doubt. Sadly so. Though hopefully not for long.

Featured once more in the Choppers summer campaign mini-pictorial, the Kate Upton tremendous boobage almost fell out of her bikini top, a bittersweet reminder that as sweet as her flesh puppies are in our lives, there will always be some hint of emptiness in our hearts until we see those sextastic suckers flapping free in the midday sun. Anticipation, it really does kill your slowly. Enjoy.

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India Reynolds Topless Six String and Two Perfect Licks

By Bill Swift | June 18, 2013 @ 9:28 am

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Move over Angus Young, I think I just bumped you from my list of all-time favorite guitar players, quite in favor of the belusted India Reynolds flashing her axe and her twin cans of goodness in this month's Loaded magazine.

Now, I wouldn't normally put topless sextastic women playing instruments as my favorite fantasy land motif, but I must say, seeing the smoking hot brunette, few clothes, and her six-string, well, I'm starting to have some rocker chick fantasies like you would not believe. Or, you probably would actually if you're already here. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum With Some Sideboob in the Meatpacking District (Best Game of Clue Ever)

By Bill Swift | June 18, 2013 @ 9:01 am

Heidi Klum Shows Sideboob in a Black Dress in the Meatpacking District

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Heidi Klum Topless

Heidi Klum Caught Topless On A Beach in Sardinia

Heidi loves to let mother sol touch her bare teats. 27 Photos »

Heidi Klum really has been experiencing something of a hotness renaissance since she dumped her husband and started sleeping with her bodyguard. I'm not suggesting every woman out there do the same, unless, of course, you are one of my bodyguard service clients and you're hot, but it seems to have worked for Heidi.

She's showing skin-revealing at major upscale events the past several months, including just a fancy evening out in the meatpacking district in N.Y., flashing some sweet side views of her tall veteran model body frame.

Of course, we would always like to see much more of Heidi. And here's to hoping she takes another one of her European beach holidays where she gets in the spirit of removing her top for an almost all over tan. But until that time, we shall continue to imagine straps falling off her shoulders. Enjoy.

Amanda Frances Covered Topless Photoshoot for SI India

By Bill Swift | June 18, 2013 @ 8:31 am

Amanda Frances Covered Topless Photos for SI India

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I'd like to say we're all lucky today for a chance to see the hot body of model Amanda Frances barely covered for an SI India photoshoot. But since she's not she-banging actor Chris Pine, I'm going to have to say that he is a little bit more lucky than the rest of us today.

Not that I'm not delighting in an up and down gaze upon this wicked frame of the young model with a body that seems to be built for pleasure and business. And this pictorial really deserves a little credit in the sextastic creativity department.

Still, it might be nice to be the captain of her enterprise one day, or one hour, and go where, yeah, I suppose a few men have gone before. That's it, I'm out of Star Trek puns already. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Cleavetastic in Green

By Bill Swift | June 18, 2013 @ 8:08 am

Carmen Ortega Cleavage in a Flowing Green Dress Photoshoot in Hollywood

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I have a sneaking suspicion that Latina model Carmen Ortega can make any outfit a mere barely covering of her bodacious boobtastic and body. We're used to seeing her in skimpy little outfits and bikinis, but even in this striking full length green dress, she manages to make us believe that she's completely nekkid. At least, I believe it. I can even see it if I close my eyes.

Carmen Ortega has all the tools to be a true force in the sextastic celebrity circuit. But no tools greater than the ability to take off her clothes entirely and tell the photographer to start snapping away. I hope she opts for that choice soon, for as much as we encourage flexing the imagination muscle here, let's be honest, it's so much easier to just go straight from eyeball to, well, other similar shaped anatomical objects. Enjoy.

WE'RE MORE FAMILIAR WITH CARMEN ORTEGA IN A BIKINI

Carmen Ortega Shows Her Curves in a Bikini in Miami

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Kelly Brook Topless Bikini Pictures! Full Frontal Cancun Heaping Goodness!

By Bill Swift | June 17, 2013 @ 3:03 pm

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Kelly Brook Topless in a Bikini on the Beach in Cancun

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And you said all my silly candle lightings and wishing upon falling stars was childish whimsy. Who's laughing now as we gaze upon our heavily belusted and curvaceous Kelly Brook topless and full frontal on the beach in Cancun.

I honestly think I might cry.

Kelly Brook and her funbags o' plenty are just magnificent displays of passion inducing mammaries. As you know, I've already vowed to live out my golden years in the ample cleavage of the sextastic British model. Now I realize I might be getting some sun myself on certain vacation occasions.

Oh, happy days when Kelly Brook reveals her beautiful melons with a fun cheeky smile. I feel like a kid in a candy store, the best candy store ever! Enjoy.