Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Edita Vilkeviciute Open Robe Peeks, Wait, That’s My Future Wife!

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I certainly have mixed feelings when my beautiful tall and long and lovely and naturally hot Lithuanian future wife Edita Vilkeviciute shows off her stellar fine form for the general public. I mean, yes, I’m obviously proud of the fact that I’m only thirty-seven steps removed from taking this woman as my wife until such time as she divorces me for a slough of likely very good reasons. But I’m also a little bit possessive about showing off her faptastic funbags to all the neighbors. You know that wife. You like her, but she’s kind of a handful for her husband.

In this wonderfully wicked Pamela Hanson pictorial, Edita, err, the future Mrs. Egotastic, let’s her robe fall asunder revealing her pert peaches and probably some idea of at least five lines on my agenda for our wedding night. Oh, there will be honey. Edita is one of those transcendent figures that even when posing ostensibly for women causes men to catch their breath if not other reflexive reactions. She’s a stunner. And she’s almost all mine. Hands off. Eyeballs still okay. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Pamela Hanson

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Beyonce Booty, Kylie Jenner Camel Wedgie, and Lindsey Pelas Sideboob Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

I know I often say, this one has it all. But this one, man, this one has it all. The level of quality and quantity and sextastic rating of the social media self-shares by the hottest celebrities continues to rise at geometric rates, though it could be exponential as well since I have no idea what any of that means. I just know the goodness count is rising and all thanks to the desire of the hottest among us to remind us gently, but in a tingle inducing manner about that very fact. Ego is good.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Beyonce and her stellar hourglass booty, Lindsey Pelas flashing a healthy dose of her sweet pelas, Kylie Jenner showing off in a swimsuit, Candice Swanepoel upside down perfection, Courtney Stodden deep cleavage, Lindsay Lohan bikini candid, Miranda Kerr plunging neckline, and much much more. You owe it to the wretched folks who still wait for magazines in the mail to check out each and every one of these candidly hot selfies. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram/SnapChat/Twitter

Victoria Justice No Underwear At The Elle 6th Annual Women In Music Concert Celebration

If you linger long enough you will feast your eyes upon everything, including today the sight of Victoria Justice on the red carpet without any panties on. Wow, that I did not expect to see, though, as always, have been lighting candles and pleading the tree gods for for years. It’s not exactly the angle I was hoping for, but today I’m not looking this crazy hot brunette commando horse in the mouth, Victoria Justice is beautiful. Victoria Justice without any underwear on in a hot little dress on the red carpet, she’s just mesmerizing.

The event was Elle’s Women in Music Concert Celebration. I have no idea what that is, but it’s the 6th annual, so I guess the first five went well. Joining Victoria on the sextastic strut was a busty Bella Thorne, a luscious Ashley Tisdale, and other young ladies baring some skin for the cause. Why I don’t get these invites, I still don’t know. As if that’s going to stop me from showing up, not when Victoria Justice is commando, my dear friends. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews/Splash

Ela Rose Wears A Tiny Bikini In Malibu

Well, hello there Swedish hottie model Ela Rose. I miss every day I don’t see you and your ridiculously hot body poking around the beach in a bikini or less. I may not say it often enough, and my creepy crayon written letters may continue to be confiscated by the authorities, but trust me, Ela, I am always thinking of you.

The blonde haired devilish delight took to the beaches of Malibu in a tiny white bikini to flash her just outrageously hot body and pimp some more of the bottled water I’ve never seen anybody buy or consume ever. That’s a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘me’ problem. This me is quite reveling in the sextastic wonderments of Ela’s perfectly squeezable booty and the funbags of a heavenly body. I’m just kind of mesmerized. I’m feeling the opposite of parched. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Shane Van Der Westhuizen Topless And Tied Up

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Oh, happy day. You may not be familiar with crazy hot bodied South African model Shane Van Der Westhuzien but I assure you, you will not soon forget her. This bodacious blonde has been a favorite of bikini and swimsuit purveyors and photographers for a few years now, but to see her topless and quite bound in this pictorial, well, wow, damn, dang, and just a big old thank you.

Shane is simply one of those curvaceous blondes who remind you why you look forward to each new day. Also probably why you’ll spend the next seventeen evenings dreaming about waking up to find Shane in your abode all kinds of nekkid and suspiciously tied up. Don’t ask too many questions, she might go away. Just get down on your hands and knees and thank your higher power. Also, remind Shane of the rules involved if she ever wishes to be untied. Be stern, but fair, even as your knees are buckling and your mouth drooling. So damn hot! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Yuri Acurs

Cara Delevingne, Kendall Jenner And Adriana Lima Attend A Yacht Party In Cannes

For those of you who write me asking about my progress toward securing my own yacht, thank you for asking. The number of years remaining until my downpayment is assembled remains high, though when measured in centuries it seems much more doable. Once I’ve obtained my water craft, you can bet I’m going to be hosting parties onboard the likes that attract Cara Delevingne, Kendall Jenner, and Adriana Lima to party like it’s 1999, though I’m not sure these girls were even born then.

Yacht parties are all the rage in the South of France during May when models and celebrities and thespianics all gather to check each other out and compete in perhaps the world’s most cloying of cat fights. And much of it takes place at sea. Who will score the top girls for their forecastle? What hottie will get wasted enough to fall into the water requiring assistance? Who will be found in the morning in the lower bunks with some guy not me? These are the questions being asked. I really don’t want to answer until I have a boat of my own and can yell out things like, ‘Herbert, bring some champagne to Ms. Lima, she’s empty.’ Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash/INF

Hethielly Beck See Through Top And Bikini Bottoms

Hottie Hethielly Beck is back and baring her wares for the creepily mysterious bottled water company. I’m not a big fan of the floppy hats and glasses, though I do understand the need for UV protection, but in contrast consider me a mega fan of bikini bottoms and see-through tops that provide a sweet glimpse of Hethielly’s treats.

I’ll say this for the odd folks at 138 Water, everyday somewhere on the beach in Southern California is a half-nekkid smoking hot model posing with their bottles. To what end other than us gentlemen oglers reaping the visual benefits of stimulation and circulation? Like I’ve ever asked myself that question seriously. Hethielly, keep up the good work. Your body needs to be shared with the world, but if that seems like to broad a goal, let’s just start with me. Screw the rest of the world. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet