Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Kaley Cuoco, Iggy Azalea And Willow Shields Bare Midriffs At The Kids’ Choice Awards 2015

I’ll be the first to admit I might just be a tad past the demographic for the Kids’ Choice Awards on Nickelodeon. My idea of sliming a beautiful woman is well past the mature audience range for what the kids are expecting when they watch that show. Nevertheless, the annual event does bring out some serious Hollywood hotties even if they are compelled to dress rather G-rated for the event, that doesn’t mean they can’t flash a little bit of heavenly midriff and legs and such (funbags ever on mostly hidden status).

When ladies such as Kaley Cuoco and Iggy Azalea and Willow Shields and other members of young sextastic Celebrityville start showing up on your red carpet, please invite me over as well. It’s good to see the next generation of outstandingly hot women are well on their way to filling our future vaults. Some stupid awards were given out, but the real prize was taken home once again by the gentleman oglers, who got an eyeful, sans slime. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Jodie Gasson Topless Striptease in Brilliant Yellow

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Jodie Gasson boobtastic just makes me smile. She seems so pleased with her plump pair that I become pleased right along with her. They’re hardly a burden, they’re her garden of goodness, the signpost on the door way to her exhibition of the fine female form, all wrapped, and then beautifully unwrapped in one striking yellow bikini top you just know can’t contain them. Funbags are a blessing, not just for the bearer, but for the world. That sounds like hyperbole, but someday you’ll see that it’s an understatement.

I’ve lusted the full bodied curves of Jodie Gasson since first I laid peeps about her teats of specialness. Those round mounts of visual wonderments attached to the loveliest of lasses who provides good feelings to millions and asks nothing in return save for perhaps a polite, thank you, ma’am. These are the deals that enrich are lives and make us thankful for the gift of vision. As for the gift of touch, you might just need to present that to yourself today. Please do remember to lay down the plastic sheeting. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Jodie Gasson

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Lada Kravchenko Booty Cheek Peeks In See Through Lingerie

Let me see, hot blowing up Russian model in see-through lingerie. Yep, that’ll inspire a man to build a cabin or become a world leader, perhaps drop that final five pounds doing power aerobics class at the gym next to that other guy in those nylon shorts. The power of beautiful women to motivate the less fair gender is nothing short of remarkable. Right now, Lada Kravchenko mostly makes me want to chew on a piece of leather so I don’t bite my tongue.

The young Moscow native turning international photographer favorite shot ever so effortlessly, but sextastic crazy in this Erik Tranberg shoot for Satiety Paper. Every time I see a fine female form thusly and booty hot in lingerie, I’m reminded why lingerie was invented in the first place. I know, women want to feel like women. But there are many a man who also want to feel women. Wait, that came out exactly right. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Erik Tranberg For Satiety Paper

Shit Show Almost Fixed

I apologize for the extended season of errors on the site. The best I can tell you is sacrifices must be made when running a free site these days. We don’t get the gold service package, we get the bronze, more like polished tin. The errors you have been seeing when nobly trying to view super attractive women will be gone soon. I can’t promise something else won’t bust on this lovable jalopy, but try to keep your eyes focused on the prize. Prizes.

I’ll keep the content coming if you can allow for just a bit more patience. Actually, I’ll keep the content coming either way. This is kind of all I ever wanted to do in life. Enjoy.


Kaley Cuoco Flashing Abs and Cleave After Workout

Yep, Kaley Cuoco, we are proud of your body as well. You’ve been working out hard. We’ve been ogling hard. I’d say we’re both in fine working order now as it relates to your tight abs and those yum yums of yours you only slightly tease these days since you got married and signed the big contract. But we both know, you’ve got serious hot skin to show. The sextastic doesn’t care about business necessity or promises to spouses. This body years to be free. I mean yours, not mine. Mine fine in it’s solitary confinement.

I’d be naive not to notice the relationship to how much our favorite celebrities workout and how much skin and booty they show off after workouts when facing the paparazzi. And good for them I say. Without ego there is no Egotastic! We rely on the kindness of attention seeking strangers. Like Kaley Cuoco, and that firm body of hers that could probably use a firm but sensual massage post-workout. I’m warming my hands to 98.6 degrees as we speak. She’ll barely notice I’m there. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Mariah Carey Busty Bouncy Bosom In Bikini

Mariah Carey never leaves home without her twins. No, not the kids. They’re somewhere being taken care of, rest assured, I think, maybe. The bigger point are the twin sweet teats big and proud on the forties and faptastic diva who was flashing her chestal skin in St. Bart’s over the weekend. If you’re going to flash your funbags, why not do it in the Caribbean? That’s kind of my motto.

Mariah’s been through a lot lately. She probably needs some kind of extended rub down involving powerful eucalyptus oils and the sweat of a randy masseuse. I happen to have both of those assets readily available. Mariah may not be the exact same woman she was twenty years ago, but I’m more than willing to help her find the places that are. It’s why I always keep a magnifying glass in my pocket. Next to the condoms I purchased in 2002. Man, that was a hopeful year. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet


Sasha Alexander Topless and Alexandra Park Red Undies in the Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO)

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The Boob Tube Roundup worthy content a tad bit light on cable this week as it is Easter or Spring Break or Passover or perhaps the Wiccan Day of the Pines. But, Shameless, like the true hero it is, came through with a number of wicked hot topless scenes including extensive views of Sasha Alexander topless and making the sexy, Shanola Hampton topless on a pool table, and Emily Bergl have gator clamps electrocute her funbags. What? That’s just not right.

I also had to add an ode to Alexandra Park and her slender hotness body in The Royals this past week. I won’t actually watch any show on E! for fear my bobos will decide to high tail it off my body for good, but Alexandra’s female form in red panties and bra definitely deserved some kind of shout out. Game of Thrones coming soon, my friends! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: “Shameless” Showtime/”The Royals” E!

Check Out the Uncensored Boob Tube Roundup Video »