Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Kendal Lee Schuler Topless Brunette Christmas Present Wonderments from Down Under (Where It’s Summer)

 
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Brunette hot Aussie model Kendal Lee Schuler just posed topless for the photography-party lifestyle magazine Life Without Andy from Down Under. She kind of just made my day. I know so many of you dream of video game consoles or home electronics or Williams-Sonoma kitchen cute equipment (what is wrong with you?) for Christmas. All your Uncle Bill wants for Christmas is his two front teats. Specifically, those delicious funbags on the sextastic likes of Kendal Lee Schuler.

I know I’ve been naughty this year, Santa. It’s kind of my job. But if you could see your way to skipping the lumps of coal this year and stuff Kendal Lee Schuler into my prophylactic stocking, I would be very much obliged. I’m not putting out milk and cookies ever years simply for gratis. Let’s deal. I want Kendal. Name your price, Kris Kringle. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Life Without Andy

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Does Paris Hilton Have Upgraded Funbags?

I don’t know. Bra technology being what it is today, sadly, advanced I suppose, it’s sometimes hard to tell in this pushed up, scrunched up, so-called magic lifting bosom engineering age what is real and what is not real and what is really really not real. That’s so confusing. I mostly just like to watch.

Billionaire Barbie has most definitely been showing off some super bigger cleavage this week in London, venturing out to hotspots in the evening, specifically making brilliant note of her improved bust line. Paris has always been considered the au natural, lithesome model type, but then again, a solid percentage of Tinsel Town darlings have had some augmentation. The streets of downtown Beverly Hills are lined with plastic surgeon’s offices and coffee shops and not everybody drinks coffee. Just saying, there’s more chestal square inches than we’re used to seeing. Not that this is a bad thing. Paris, I’m just happy you’re happy. Enjoy.

Kendall Jenner Covered Topless in Love Magazine, The Full Hot Spread, As It Were

There’s simply no denying that Kendall Jenner has made the modeling industry her bitch. Silver spoon and family connections and not deserving her spot and all other criticisms that don’t really matter aside, Kendall is now one of the biggest gets in the fashion and photography business. I’m not sure she’s done anything particularly herself to cause this beneficial outcome, but she does look mighty tall and lean and hot, so that’s a big something.

Kendall’s Love magazine photos in black and white and hot all over have kind of trickled out in past weeks, but viewing the entire set is something of a spiritual experience. Love or hate the Kardashians, or even Kendall herself for whatever reason, I think you’d have to admit you see her underlying talent for this walking and posing sextastic mannequin line of work. She’s going to be huge. Good for you, Kendall. This is what you wanted and none of us oglers can hardly complain. You look good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Love Magazine

Humpday Huzzah! Sammy Braddy Topless and Dolphin Friendly in the Pool

 
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Oh, I do love a good pool picture party around the beginning of winter to remind me how hotties are best served — warmly. While the vision of racktastic Sammy Braddy in a parka and snow boots is still plenty enough to rev my easily started engines. Just look at Sammy and the way makes both man and inflatable pool toys, well, inflate.

On Wednesdays we give thanks to the wonderful boobtastic and crazy hot women that makes this world spin around at just the precise RPM to keep us modestly grounded, but our thoughts still pie in the sky. Sammy certainly is a stellar slice of that pie. Huzzah!

Photo Credit: Sammy Braddy

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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Hot in Harper’s

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, thy name is elegance. Also hot sextastic drooling catatonic goodness, leaning more toward the latter.

Rosie found her way into Australia’s Harper’s Bazaar magazine because she’s particularly good looking and has a stellar fine body. Those would be your qualifications, along with photographing well, natural.. Which she does. She’s something of a stunner, with some sweet natural funbags that might need a little attention. Granted, the need may be mostly on my side. The point is, I’d be willing to beg something fierce. Never underestimate the female emotion of sympathy. It is their only known weakness. Add tears and you are golden. There is no bottom to my shame well. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Harper Bazaar Magazine

Jadeon Stage Stretch Likes a Sextastic Armstrong for the Shizz Water


Jadeon Stage is a hip hop dancer. Which is sort of like my Cabbage Patch signature move, but slightly more contemporary. She also seems a bit more flexible than myself, but at least 140-degrees on the compass. Jadeon got water tapped to do the latest and most curvaceous 138 Water Shoot. It’s not a water company, it’s a bikini girls photography venture. Which for the record has far more benefits to society.

Jadeon shows off some of her more stretchable poses, proving once again that a supple woman is a good woman. I think Confucius originally said that. Maybe it was David Spade. The point is, damn, just look what she can do with that bodacious body of hers. There ought to be a law, mostly compelling it. There’s a reason God invented beach binoculars. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Ariana Grande High Kicks and Booty Shakes for Christmas

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not exactly sure the voice in this music video is actually coming from Ariana Grande. Maybe by way of several computers and a Mariah Carey vocal translation chip. Nevertheless, the booty-ful body and high kicking supple legs are definitely all Ariana. The minx putting together her best silly but sextastic effort in Santa Tell Me, which I suppose is sort of a real song, for the ogling set this Christmas.

2014 has been a wonderful year for Ariana Grande and the men who love to leer at her. I can’t wait to see what she has in store for the coming year as she continues to evolve out of her teen starlet persona and into showy pop diva for a slightly older audience. If she goes the way of Miley, I shall be most pleased. Most pleased indeed. Bless you, Ariana Grande, and your showy little outfits. Bring on phase two. Enjoy.

Check Out the Ariana Grande Music Video »