Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Mellisa Clarke Topless Goodness In Or Out of Clothes (Though Out of Clothes Is Really Better)

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 1:54 pm

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Mellisa Clarke Topless in Red and Black Lingerie

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Oh, man, you know how much me and fifty million other guys so dig Mellisa Clarke. Every new pictorial that arrives from the alt-brunette glamour hottie is like a tingle up an entirely new nerve chain from the eyeballs down to the other places where the nervous system branches.

Featured in a spectacular red and black lingerie striptease show, Mellisa knows how to do very little, to say so very much with her spectacular body and her alluring girl-next-door-you-wish-really-existed looks. One total package of visual wonderment I can never wait to unwrap. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out a ton more Mellisa Clarke on her official site.)

Melissa Riso Bikini Pictures Excited To Meet You

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 1:11 pm

Melissa Riso Shows off Her Bikini Body in Malibu

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Once in a while we have to give a shoutout to the up and coming celebrities, well the ones who look as hot as Melissa Riso in her bikini during a photoshoot in Malibu yesterday.

Melissa is trying to crack her Hollywood nut as it were, having landed a few magazine covers, commercials, and making her way into some short films. Hard to predict where her star will finally land, but if she were on my casting couch, she'd do quite well. And, no, I don't mean sexual favors in exchange for jobs. Although I also don't not mean that. Hey, how do you think I got this job? Enjoy.

I REMEMBER WHEN NENA RISTIC INTRODUCED HERSELF HERE IN A BIKINI

Nena Ristic Brings Some Serious Hot Body Goodness to Miami Beach

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Melanie Brown Brings Her Spicy Booty to Cannes

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 12:25 pm

Melanie Brown Bikinis on a Yacht in the Cannes

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Scary Spice knows how to pose her bottomside in the general direction of camera lenses. As she did once more again on her yacht off the coast of Cannes. Melanie Brown might not have all the tools in her arsenal of a decade ago, but, make no mistake, she's still playing with some very heavily loaded guns.

Someday when I anchor my floating luxury vessel, the S.S. Sextastic, off the coast of France, it will be littered with the barely covered bodies and booties of some of the finest women in the world. And, then, you know, I'll probably wake up and find myself in my bathtub with my latest Superman comic bleeding ink into the water. I hate when that happens. Enjoy.

MELANIE BROWN'S ASSTASTIC IS NEVER FAR BEHIND HER

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Rihanna Booty, Candice Swanepoel Bikini, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Lingerie Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 12:00 pm

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Body on Instagram

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Racy Lingerie Twitpic

Jennette Mccurdy Tight Green Dress on Instagram

Genevieve Morton Covered Topless Twitpic

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As summer time begins rolling into the Northern Hemisphere, I'd expect even more and more wonderfully skin-revealing self-portraits to arrive from our favorite ego-mad celebrities. It's a seasonal thing, though to be clear, our lust runs all year long. As does the need of our attention loving ladies to feed their need for exhibition. A glorious partnership between The Haves and the Have to Sees.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Draya Michele in a tiny bikini, Candice Swanepoel in a tinier bikini and even less, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley flashing her lingerie, Jennette McCurdy showing off behind the scenes, Rihanna highlighting her hot tight booty in short shorts, and much much more. You owe it to the good men and women cleaning fecal matter out of public pools before Memorial Day to check out each and every one of these self-published photos. Enjoy.

LAST WEEK'S ROUNDUP IN CASE YOU WERE IN A MEXICAN JAIL CELL

Kendall Jenner in a Bikini and Skates on Instagram

Aubrey O'Day Cleavage in a Bikini on Twitter

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Celeste Muriega Topless Bodacious Sudamericana Goodness

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 11:41 am

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Celeste Muriega Sultry Topless Photoshoot

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I appreciate all Egotastic! readers, each and everyone of you lascivious mofos, but I do have a special affinity for our friends from South America who both falsely compliment my still in progress Spanish language skills while simultaneously chastising me for omitting public adulation for their particular native favorite hottie.

Like 'Lucas' down Argentina way who wanted to give me a little kick in the pants for neglecting sweet celebrity model Celeste Muriega. Seeing Celeste quite without many clothes in this rather sultry photoshoot, I can see why Lucas was so dismayed. Dismay no longer, mi amigo, for the glory that is the body sextastic of Celeste Muriega now becomes part of the Egotastic! visual lexicon. Forever. Or until my $35 hard drive goes belly up again. Enjoy.

ARGENTINEAN WOMEN MOST DEFINITELY PLAY THEIR PART ON EGOTASTIC!

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Helen Flanagan Cleavage on Display to Save the Animals

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 10:50 am

Helen Flanagan Cleavage Spills Out of Her Top at Anti-Exotic Skins Photocall in London

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Honestly, I don't even care what cause Helen Flanagan was promoting with her top spilling out of her, well, her top, I pledge my firm support.

The Britty soap star's ample bosom barely contained in a top while she helped support PETA's campaign to end the wearing of animal skins in fashion. Personally, outside of a pair of snakeskin boots that a very poorly thought out relationship led me to buy once, I'm down for saving the slaughter of beasts for my next sandwich only.

Having Helen Flanagan utilize her sweet chesty treats to help support this wildlife campaign, well, it doesn't make all that much sense. But then, who's complaining? Not I. Enjoy.

HELEN FLANAGAN IS NOT A PARTICULARLY SHY GIRL

Helen Flanagan Huge Cleavage in FHM Magazine February 2013

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Jennifer Nicole Lee Working Out Like A MILFtastic Beast

By Bill Swift | May 23, 2013 @ 10:07 am

Jennifer Nicole Lee Shows Off Her Workout Moves in Miami

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As far as I can tell Jennifer Nicole Lee workouts 365 days a year. And all 365 of those days pretty much outdoors in a public setting. And, thank god for that.

The BBW turned MILFtastic fitness guru is back in Miami at the parks, beaches, and traffic roundabouts in skimpy and revealing outfits working on her near perfect body. I say near perfect, because nobody has the perfect body. I mean, I might someday if I ever get back on the Gazelle. But Jennifer's is damn near close, especially for a mom of two who works it like no other. And sweats like no other. And flashes deep cleavage like... well, you get the picture. She makes sure of that. Enjoy.