Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Humpday Huzzah! Holly Peers Faptastic Funbags Ever So Perfect in Zoon

 

I feel like I haven't seen Holly Peers perfect chesty delights in forever. Even an hour away from her nurturing mammaries is too long for any man, let alone a baby, to endure.

Featured in this month's Zoo magazine, Holly shows why she doesn't need much styling or set decoration, let alone wardrobe, to be the belle of the visual ball. She's the kind of neighbor lady you hope doesn't install shades because she assumes nobody would be crazy enough to build a fifty-foot ladder of thatch and gum just to peek into her boudoir. Those are the kind of neighbor ladies that have yet to live next door to me. I'd build an escalator to the moon for the chance to see Holly lotioning her perfect jugs each evening. Then I'd never get off of it. Damn, Holly, you get me every time. Enjoy.

Andrea Calle Bikini Booty Delights on South Beach Tickle My Fancies

Wow, the Latina girls are doing something fierce in the bikini booty department this day in Miami. Add to that list of sextastic exhibition Andrea Calle, the Colombiana hottie reporter whose rear end I'd like to report myself in terms of moving violations. At least I feel particularly moved whilst ogling her fine thong clad thumper sashaying across the sandy beach.

At some point I need to start selling programs down on Miami Beach so visitors can recognize the various hot celebrity bums. You can't tell the thumpers without a program I'll shout from my stand with the $5 sign pasted to the front. I'd like to raise enough money to send myself back to high school. Andrea Calle, you and your sweet seat meat are definitely in my program. Enjoy.

Adriana Lima Sextastic Modeling Something I Can’t Afford, But I Can Look

I get the feeling Adriana Lima isn't brought in to model the off the rack discount ware. So I'm guessing whatever this catalog shoot is, I can't afford any of it. Even if I were a collector of women's clothing. As if. But I do know that Adriana makes everything appealing. Her World Cup commercials were the absolutely drop dread bomb. And in this pictorial, she even makes clothing look acceptable on a wicked hot woman.

Some women were simply dropped from the heavens to bring smiles and boners to this world. Adriana Lima has produced millions of both. If she needs to push some dresses and purses to make her stay on this earthly orb more accommodating, I'm all for it. Though I'd be lying if I didn't say I forever picture her in the buff. A true naughty angel. Enjoy.

Julia Pereira in a Pink Bikini and a Perfect Body at Miami Beach

Well hello there hot toned body hottie Julia Pereira. We haven't seen you prancing about the beach in Miami for what seems like an eternity, though it's probably only been a month or so. From the looks of it you haven't exactly been letting go in your beach time off. You've taken your superior Brazilian model genetics and fine tuned even more so at some modern day gymnasium with their fancy Pilates and yoga tricks. And it shows.

Sometimes I wonder if the lineage of Brazilian bikini hotties will ever someday come to an end. Then I realize that's like wondering if the Great Lakes will dry up or time itself will stop ticking. The line of sextastic succession from that Sudamericana nation continues unabated. Julia Pereira and her alluring bikini adjustments another bright spot in that eternal procession. Enjoy.

Super Hot ‘Roommate’ Cristi Nekkid Peeping in Her Apartment

 

Joe Wehner specializes in voyeuristic shots of desperately hot girls in everyday nekkid type situations. He's working on a new photo book called Roommates which peeks into the boudouir skin filled delights of young models such as Cristi featured herein. If you don't understand how Joe's photographic passions and my own love of all things peeping align, then you haven't been around here long enough. We're like an eHarmony match.

Now back to the heavenly hot model Cristi, the unwitting subject of voyeuristic New York roommate shots. Blessedly, Cristi is that perfect roommate who happens to be exceptionally hot, and also fond of walking around the flat quite nekkid. She's not the girl you go to as roommates and tell her she needs to put some clothes on. Unless you're other jealous girl roommates, then you probably do. Or all make sweet tender love in the bathtub together if this is the photo book swirling around my mind. Pure genius. My roommates have never looked quite like this. Enjoy.

Taylor Swift Looks Perfectly Leggy Summer Leaving the Gym

On the days I do get to the gym, I leave looking like a wounded beast in the field the farmers consider shooting to put out of its misery. It's sort of a look of anguish mixed with flop sweat that surely must scare the local children. I'm sure parents point to me and tell their kids that this monster is coming for them if they don't clean their rooms and eat their vegetables. But I'm good with that. Somehow, Taylor Swift manages to look perfect leaving her gym. I know she's actually working out within as evidenced by her toned legs and slender body and all around fit as a fiddle female form. I'm guessing she's not showering with the regular folk. And she must have some kind of stylist and wardrobe person who accompanies her to her workouts. Or maybe her gym just offers that, Mine no longer even offers hand towels. But I'm guessing she's not at at Bally's.

Taylor Swift, I applaud you, your hot long legs, your summer wardrobe, and your effortless appeal. Let people mock your perfect girl persona. I'll be the guy telling them to shut up and hoping you reward my efforts with a kiss on the cheek and maybe a back massage if you're not doing anything special tonight. Enjoy.

Lea Michele Bikini Nip Slips, Hot Bottoms, And Everything Good in Between

 

Whoa, when Lea Michele lets go, she really lets go. Now I can't let go. The Glee actress has been hitting the hot spots of the European Riviera this past week, including her turn in a bikini off the coast of Italy like many of her Hollywood celebrity peers. Only Lea blessed us with some bare nipple poking out of her green bikini top, a very sweet compliment to her rather fine wet bikini thumper.

Lea Michele gets something of a bad rap in the City of Angels. I think much of it goes with the territory of being a successful woman and getting the 'bitchy' label. My guess is that term of affection is no more or less common around these parts than it is among the hottest girls in any any walk of life. There's a natural tendency to be a little needy when you have so many people offering to service your needs. Oh, that I could service Lea's. We wouldn't even need that silly bikini top in the first place. Lea, someday I'll have my yacht, please wait for me. Keep that asstastic constant. Enjoy.