Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Charlotte McKinney Holds Her Own Nursing Degrees

Do you happen to like hot sextastic nurses holding their own ginormous melons in an attempt to take your temperature from across the room? Yeah, I know you do. Then prepare to fall deep into a semi-cramping but pleasantly painful kind of lust for blonde bombshell model Charlotte McKinney in Galore magazine.

People are naturally comparing Charlotte to Kate Upton because of her Instagram fame, Guess jeans modeling, and something about those XXL funbags of hers that makes every man and Sapphic leaning woman in the house reflexivley make motorboat noises. If Charlotte really were a nurse, I'd find a way to need medical attention daily. Not that I already don't, but with something sexier than rampant athlete's foot. Good Charlotte, Good God! Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags! Stacey Poole Glasses, Boots, and a Whole Lot of Topless Boobtastic

 

There are a few things that just get me rolling in the kink department no matter how cliche. But few, I mean, somewhere on the order of four thousand and a couple. Including girls in boots, girls in stocking, and girls with glasses. I know it's all merely designed to create some kind of million year old primal trigger inside my mating brain. I know it, and I love it. I gladly ride the river of the manipulated horny souls.

Stacey Poole and her mammaries of glorious times knows just how to make a man like me quake in the boots he's not even wearing. Quaking in your sandals just isn't quite the same. But seeing Stacey in those nylons and boots, and those glasses for which I'm quite certain she has no prescription lenses, wow, I just want to roll into a mailable ball and address myself right into her... sorry, I forgot about the children watching. Let's just say -- Thank God It's Funbags!

Lisa Opie Has a Perfect Bikini Booty and a Blonde Hottie Bikini Buddy

You know how much I adore, worship, and otherwise have an unhealthy addiction to the lovely booty perfect bikini body on Miami Beach model fixture Lisa Opie. Now she's just teasing harder by bringing along her blonde friend Kristina Sofia and doubling down on the bikini rump time. You throw in a volleyball and I'm as good as gone into my own world of fantasy beach erotica.

The Miami Beach scenes really might be the world's most competitive bikini body landscape at the moment. You can't just walk out there in any old bikini with any old body. This is fame and fame costs and right here with your tight little thumper is where you start paying. Well, at least where I start ogling and probably never stop. Keep up the fantastic work, Lisa Opie. Enjoy.

Elle Brittain Topless Black and White and Hot All Over for Down Under Glimpses of Glory

 

If you happen to like your models Australian, blonde, busty, and wicked hot, then you'll love the very same quite outdoors and topless in the guise of rising Aussie model Elle Brittain who is featured along with perfect funbags in the new Oyster Magazine in a shoot by Derek Henderson.

I can't tell you the waves of psychic happiness that overtakes my entire being every time we meet another libido altering  young sextastic celebrity model. It's like watching the bounty of Spring that never really ceases. A horn of plenty for hotties that just gives and gives and gives. Sextastic is one element that will never diminish on this planet. It's self-replenishing. Elle Brittain and those wicked hot ta-ta's of her, cause me a need to replenish as well. Just so damn hot in black and white. Enjoy.

Mayra Veronica Muy Caliente Sin Ropa Between the Sheets

We certainly don't get to see enough of the Cubana hottie Mayra Veronica and her sextastically posed sultry Latina hotness.  The alluring bilingual vixen hosts TV shows, puts out dance records, and does a whole bunch of stuff with fashion that does not interest me in the least except for when she models, but her true talents, well, one of them at least, lies in how hot she looks without clothes on laying in bed. Oh, mamacita.

In this Bruno Talledo shoot, Mayra shows us how a smoking hot brunette needs little more than a bed and a single bed sheet to put on an epic show of seduction. Really, the sheet is not needed at all. From stem to stern, Mayra shows off her picture perfect body in a round of making every man who doesn't find this in his bedroom when he gets home super jealous of the few lucky bastards who do. Man, how I'd love to make you all jealous. Mayra, we need more! Enjoy.

Dita Von Teese Nearly Nekkid Burlesque Makes For One Helluva a Hot Body Show

You know my general feelings about the fine art of burlesque and other not nearly striptease shows. A bit outdated. But every time I say that, along comes Dita Von Teese to make sure I eat my words. With her tassels and g-strings and water pouring and giant martini glasses, there's no doubt Dita puts on one amazingly bawdy show even if she does so without breaking any prevailing vice laws, unfortunately so.

You wouldn't stick with a girlfriend who teased you wonderfully each evening only to announce 'thank you for attending the show, Cleveland' then left your apartment right as you were ready for the after-show. But somehow Dita makes this work ever so alluringly, recollections back to an era when not everybody was super obvious in public and saved their fully naughty bits for the boudoir. I suppose there's something to be said for the anti-Miley. Bravo, Dita. Enjoy.

Kelly Brook See-Through Top and Short Skirt; Yes, Bill, There Is a Santa Clause

Three months before the Yuletide and St. Nick has already brought me exactly what I want. Kelly Brook and her bodacious yams of glory on the streets of Los Angeles in a see-through sheer top and bra and a short skirt showing off her wrap-around-me-oh-please-dear-god legs. Damn, this is how the sidewalks in heaven surely must look. Kelly Brook with a big smile and even big funbags and happy time nipples.

Every now and then my faith in humanity is restored. Though that is completely insignificant compared to my faith in the power of crazy hot women with glorious ta-ta's to make me smile all over. Kelly Brook induces more smiles than she could possibly ever know. Thank you, Santa. I still want the Lego Star Wars MIB set, but this is the best teaser gift ever. Enjoy.