Bill Swift Website

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Dakota Fanning Does Noir For VS Magazine, I Nearly Die for Dakota

Here’s something you don’t see everybody but when you do see it, you’re reminded how you secretly wished for it for what seems like forever. Dakota Fanning in an all grow’d up photoshoot, all kinds of noir and made up and dangerous in a motel room looking kind of grow’d up. Oh, happy days and dark nights.

Dakota Fanning isn’t a kid anymore, but she’s maintained something of an artistically clean rep during her transition into Egotastic-hood. She has so much stored sextastic, I wonder if sometime it might just blow. She needs these little minor quakes to prevent the entire shizzbang from blowing. I’d recommend more and more, and naughtier and naughtier of these kinds of shoots for here. She really is a stunner. When more clothes start coming off, well, let’s just say I’d invest heavily in emollients and lubricant manufacturing firms. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: VS Magazine

Mr. Skin Is Giving Away Prizes Just for Checking Out His Topless Anatomy Award Winners! (VIDEO)

 

Anatomy_Awards_Roku

My good friend Mr. Skin is the kind of guy who would bail you out of jail without hesitation. Of course, he’d probably be the reason you were in the slammer in the first place, so there’s that for the balance sheet. But when he told me he wanted everybody on Egotastic to check out the ridiculously hot and topless winners of his 16th Annual Anatomy Awards, I said, mofo, show me the Roku. So he did.

CHECK OUT ALL THE WINNERS FROM THE 16th ANNUAL ANATOMY AWARDS

Check out all the topless smoking hot winners of this year’s Anatomy Awards and enter yourself to win a Roku 3. This prize ain’t for everybody, only the sexy people. Oh, and Egotastic! Readers. We are considered a big get now. We can probably get good tables at Marie Callender’. This is huge. Enjoy.

Check Out the Anatomy Award Winners »

Thank God It’s Upskirts! Naomi Watts, Ariana Grande, and Jennifer Lopez Panties Peeks for the Weekend Getaway


If you’re like me, at some point I’m making the long trek this weekend to my couch. It’s a decent number of feet and even when stepping entirely on the backs of my intern army, it’s still a chore. I need a little something something to inspire my gait. Something like a dozen or so peeks up the skirts of some of Hollywood’s hottest ladies in short skirts, dresses, and otherwise just flashing their undercrackers inadvertently for our ogling eyes.

Take a gander at these sweet blessed upskirt peeks of some extremely alluring leading ladies. You might just find yourself inspired enough to hit the couch as well. Or loo if you require a little extra privacy. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Egotastic! Archives

Alison Brie Cleavy Smoking Hot Swimsuit Pictures, We May Not Survive These Melons of Joy

Alison Brie just kills me. She pulls the life force right out of me, shakes it up like a cocktail, and puts it right back in no particular order or sensibility. It’s hard to explain the feeling precisely, but suffice it to say, it’s a good one.

The girl next door cutie slash often underrated alluring girl you’d wished you’d had an evening alone with in college got into a cleavetastic revealing swimsuit for a pictorial for GQ Mexico, because caballeros need to know how to accessorize as well. Her swimsuits aren’t as undone or unzipped as I might particularly please, but I suppose there’s something to be said for the art of the tease. Mostly that thing is, make it stop and flash us your epic funbags so we might properly break into happy tears. Body language says so much more than spoken utterances. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: GQ Mexico

Joanna Krupa Almost Falls Out of Her Dress Partying for Her Man

I used to think Joanna Krupa told me she was married all the time was just her way of saying, Bill, look at your shoes, they have holes in them. Well, I tell you what. I drilled those holes in my shoes and I’m damn proud of my work. Also, Joanna Krupa really is married to some obviously hunky hunkmeister who in between having his chest hair shorn to save babies in developing nations owns some nightclubs in Miami. One of these locations celebrated their anniversary so Joanna put on her best, or at least, most revealing party dress, and got in on the action to support the cause. Now that’s a wife.

I’m hoping that if I ask super nicely, Joanna will wear this same dress to my Learning Annex graduation next month. I don’t like to brag, but I can not take dictation in shorthand in over seven dead languages. It’s pretty big. Not as big as her deep cleavage and that preening of hers in shiny showy wardrobes, but if I combine the two, I’m fairly certain I can make a Megazord of happy tingles. Party work well done, Joanna. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Margot Robbie, Amanda Peet, Alexandra Daddario All Topless in the Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

 

Click To see Uncensored

It’s time, boys, girls, Bruce Jenner, for a one minute peek at the finest in skin filled fineries filmed or otherwise video recorded as spied by our friends at Mr. Skin.com. I like to think of them as our brothers from another mother, that mostly only show up when there’s free beer at our place. You know how it goes.

This week’s skin-filled minutes includes a peek at Margot Robbie not quite nekkid in the new Will Smith film focus, but hella hot and unclad in the Wolf of Wall Street, Amanda Peet in her return to the the boob revelations in HBO’s Togetherness, and a look at Alexandra Daddario and all the beautifully boobtastic women rounding out the winner’s circle in the 16th Annual Anatomy Awards. There’s more hot flesh there than you can shake a stick at. Just make sure it really is a stick if you’re around parks or places where children congregate. You’re too handsome for prison. Enjoy.

While you’re on Cloud Nine, be sure to check out a Guided Tour of the Mr. Skin.com celebrity flesh filled factory. It’s like visiting Fort Knox, if sweet fubags were gold. That’s not really an ‘if’.

Check Out the Uncensored Mr. Skin Minute Video »

READER FINDS: Miley Cyrus Topless, Nicole Trunfio Sexy Hot, Elsa Pataky Takes A Shower and Much Much More…

 
Click To See Uncensored

It’s time, kids. That once a week we all get together with the parachute and flap it around in various formations because it’s raining outside and our teachers are super lazy. Only this parachute contains a full set of sextastic celebrities in various stage of hotness undress. So much better for kids and adults like. I really should be put in charge of bad weather day activities. I’d really turn things around for the happier.

This week’s Reader Finds includes the delightfully hot Nicole Trunfio barely covering her goodies (thank you to EgoReader ‘Nate’ for his contribution), Emmanuelle Seigner topless and covered in milk for skinematics (sweet find from ‘Franklin’), Linda Fiorentino topless in one mega epic bad movie (Linda hotness reigned hard via ‘Thomas T.’), Marie Jose Crozee in the small screen version of The Hunger (lovely tetas provided by ‘Devon’), Marina Shako topless country cowgirl hotness (outdoorsy funbags delivered by ‘Erica’), more Nicole Trunfio glamour shots, this time topless (topless is hard to beat, thanks ‘Orson’), Elsa Patakay topless perfection in the shower (boobtastic blessings from ‘Romeo’), sextastic Beau Garrett topless see-through au natural naughtiness (love the lean ladies does ‘Fredrick E.’), what appears to be Miley Cyrus topless counting money, seems legit, the money part I mean, and a lovely bit of nip slip from Behati Prinsloo post Oscars (both uncovered by helpful ‘David M.’), Amanda Seyfried crazy hot classic shoot (Nordic princess poses via ‘Scott’), and Emily Browning lingerie topless bondage (these only get better, thanks ‘Stephen R.’). I’d recommend perusing this all during your next yard break. You’ll be the hit of Cell Block D. Enjoy.

Check out All the Uncensored Reader Finds »