Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Taylor Swift Long and Lean and Leggy and Lovely in Manhattan

Everybody is declaring their fashion joy at how Taylor Swift is defining Spring in Manhattan. I have absolutely no idea what that means, other than unlike the native East Coasters, Taylor spent her winter working out and keeping her body lean and her legs long and toned so she was ready to go when the thermometers hit their first shorts weather day in The Big Apple. And she was ready to go.

I've been drooling over Taylor Swift's legs for some time now. While it's easy to mock her personal behavior at times, it's much more difficult to imagine contorting her legs into a pretzel like position and covering with ballpark mustard for an afternoon of condiment heaven. I always take the more challenging path. I'd like to take it with Taylor Swift, in short shorts. Or less. Enjoy.

Rosie Jones Topless Shall Always Be Three Words That Thrill Me Like No Other

 

I feel like I've been in lust with Rosie Jones since before my bobos even descended into their current location, though I'm certain that can't possibly be true. Rosie Jones is still ever so young in her early 20's but her several years now of showing off her fine female form without many clothes feels like she's created a lifetime of memories already. Happy mammary memories.

But, like any great artist, there is no peaking for Rosie Jones. She's back again in outtakes from her recent Nuts photoshoot and looking simpler hotter and more funbag faptastic than ever. I'm not exactly sure how she does it, I only know I wish I could bottle it and keep it by my bedside for occasional sniffs. Oh, the aroma of Rosie Jones sextastic could mean that I never sleep on my stomach again, Completely worth it. Bless you, Rosie Jones. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez Honored by GLAAD, But Other Boobtastics Steal the Show at Gala

Someday, I ought to be receiving my own GLAAD Media Award for my rather specific and repeated endorsement of hot lesbionic action on film and at bus tops and in Sapphic celebrity pool houses. But this year, Jennifer Lopez won the top award which meant she showed up to the big award show gala decked out to impress. And she did. But she wasn't the only lady that caught my eye on the red carpet as Greek Goddess Maria Menounous also showed up looking mighty fine, and Argentinean actress Sandra Vidal and Australian transplant Caitlin Stasey decided to bring out the serious cleave for the event as well.

So while I am obviously disappointed that my scissor kissing endorsements didn't win me a trophy, I can't help but feel a little glad myself at the sextastic sights on the red carpet for the inclusive organizations honorarium evening. And that concludes the worst pun ever. Enjoy.

Claudia Romani Bikini Killer Tush Will Put a Smiley Face on any Balloon’s Face

Oh, hello there, Claudia Romani killer tush. We haven't seen that delicious rump that as soon as America becomes enlightened enough to recognize marriages between man and hot lady humps, I intend to make my fourth future ex-wife.

I'm not sure what Claudia is doing on the beach with the smiley face balloon. Back in the day, I believe this meant she was a recreational happy pills connect, though I'm guessing this is more likely related to some kind of party that I was not invited to for some inexplicable reason. But that sweet thumper in a thong most definitely was. Oh, to massage and oil up the glutes on Claudia. I really have missed those twin beacons of visual and visceral delight. I can't wait to carry them over the threshold some day for one night of pure wedded bliss, you know, before the acrimony sets in and we aren't talking for weeks at a time. Enjoy.

Tallulah Willis, Alessandra Ambrosio, Kendall Jenner, Lindsay Lohan, and Tons More Coachella 2014 Hotties Pretending to Be Hippies

As you know, Coachella used to be an indie music festival out in the desert past Palm Springs a little ways. Now it's a mega corporate sponsored headliner act scene that features the likes of Beyonce and Pink and Gwen Stefani and I don't know, maybe Justin Bieber too at this point. Nevertheless, the more corporate and lame it becomes, the more it becomes a must-visit for pretty much celebrity under 30 (and Steven Tyler) to attend and dress in chic hippy wear and occasionally some nice boobtastic reveals during the warm days.

This year's evening part events and day time music scenes included the show off likes of Tallulah Willis, Lindsay Lohan, Alessandra Ambrosio and many others attending the Flaunt magazine shindig at night, and Selena Gomez, Ireland BaldwinKendall Jenner, Paris Hilton, Kesha, and many many more for the VIP grassy concert area.

It was a plethora of who's who in young Hollywood (and Steven Tyler) all pretending to be bohemians in the desert, or at least bohemians with makeup and hair stylists and designer chic wardrobes. Hey, you can only common yourself up so much. Some more skin would've been nice, but, hey, this is pretending to be Indie, so you can only get away with looking so hot. Enjoy.

Edita Vilkeviciute Nekkid and Full Frontal Bikini Changing in St. Barts

 

I'm beginning to feel a little bit like that William H. Macy character in Boogie Nights who keeps finding his professional adult film star wife 'engaged' in off hours work at every turn. I've just recovered from knowing that my future wife and extremely hot model Edita Vilkeviciute has been hanging out topless on the beach in St. Barts, now I've discovered she was caught changing and all over nekkid on the beach for all the world to see. Well, all the Egotastic! world to see. I feel like our relationship could use a few boundaries.

Obviously, I'm polyamorous, meaning, I have zero self restraint. And I expected to bring this up with Edita when she stops sicking her Teutonic dogs on me every time I get within fifty feet. But the idea that she's just going to flash her perfect bare funbags and lady nest, not to mention that world class bottom, sans any clothing whenever and wherever she likes. Well, I'm going to have to talk to her about who is wearing the pants in this future marriage. Hopefully, it won't be more for any great lengths. Enjoy.

Rita Ora, Nicki Minaj, Jessica Alba, Rihanna and More Hotties from the 2014 MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet

Let's be honest. There's really no reason for the MTV Movie Awards each year. MTV doesn't even run music anymore, let alone have movie coverage outside of paid advertisements. The show hasn't been fun since my fond memories of going with Tila Tequila to the red carpet to raise a ruckus and have Tila shot out her love for celebrity lady nest to all the MTV celebs.

Nevertheless, it's Viacom which means publicity and some fine looking babes pimping various projects and showing up all hot and bothered. Hot at least. The parade of sextastic ladies at this year's event included boobtastic Rita Ora, Rihanna, Jessica Alba, Nicki Minaj, Bella Thorne, Debby Ryan and others little bits of decked out delight. As for the show itself, let's just say checking out these good looking ladies is 99.9% of the entertainment value from the entire evening's events. Enjoy.