If it’s your birthday and you’re wicked hot bodied you kind of owe it to yourself and the world to show off your tight hiney on the beach in Miami. Okay, so maybe Lauren Stoner does this most days of the year already, but only on her birthday will she not have me arrested for a birthday spanking on the bikini bottom. I’m very committed to the old customs.
Lauren is quite the regular bar setter for the hottest bikini bodies in Miami. A regularly present tall slender statuesque blonde with a booty that you could bounce a nickel off of, though I’d recommend at least a silver dollar if you want to be noticed. Happy Birthday, Lauren. I hope my present got to your mailbox in time, I know sometimes the U.S.P.S. slaps a quarantine label on such gifts and has it burned in hazmat safety incinerators. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash
Rose McGowan got a new haircut and a low cut open outfit and headed to Paris for a couple fashion shows and some paparazzi snapshots of her well moisturized bosom. Rose has been showing off that veteran hot body of hers for a while now, including a nice commitment to getting nekkid for the cameras since moving into the forties and faptastic category of our sextastic celebrities.
As much as I continue to ridicule and dislike the concept of the world coming together to showcase singularly silly wardrobes that most can’t possibly afford, let alone wear, these Fashion Weeks are like magnets for the best looking ladies among us. All of whom feel obliged to get decked out in showy fashions of their own. So I give it a pass. Were I king of the world, I mean, when I am king of the world, I’ll still allow these shows to take place, I will just insist that my throne be placed backstage in the dressing room. It’s call compromise, people. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews
Hello hot Russian Italian model sensation Natasha Legeyda. What are you doing here all kinds of topless and mostly nekkid rolling around your living room floor? Yeah? Me too. No, you show me first.
I’m a sucker for foreign blondes with crazy hot bodies, a few righteously placed tattoos, sucking sensually on their fingers. In fact, any part of that works for me, mix it all together and you have Natasha’s stellar pictorial for Yume Magazine. I’m prepared to move overseas to be with this woman. Or maybe we could just meet halfway in an airport Howard Johnson’s and express our feelings for one another over fried clams and cheap booze. Natasha, you stir passions within me I haven’t felt in almost twenty minutes. I hope that means something to you. I also hope we can hang out on that couch and that you don’t feel a need to get dressed. Just such wonderful thoughts. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Cristian Ingrosso For Yume Magazine
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I’m an unabashed Rihanna hot body luster. Though, ironically, there is lots of bashing going on privately, but self-injury is a victimless crime in the name of expressing one’s passions for the lovely ladies. Rihanna simply loves to show off her taut body, and why not. In fact, seeing her bare midriff and her proud chest leaving a Beverly Hills restaurant is about the most clothes she’s worn in a while. Though still alluring.
For some reason about half the world has a problem with Rihanna. The other half, like me, we just leer and smile and wish she were our girlfriend for about one long weekend. Granted, longer than that seems like it might be something of a bother, but that’s true of most male female relationships that go past the first weekend. As for me and Ri-Ri, we’ll flame out by Saturday and be left with only happy memories and feathers covering our exhausted privates. I’m almost certain this one is going to happen. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF/Splash
I was remiss. Ashamed am I. I’m told by several of you I missed Kristen Bell in lingerie in the House of Lies. The minxy petite blonde hottie MILF twice over who won’t quite bare all even in the bare all shows, but who we lust nonetheless, especially when she’s not in cutesy commercials with her husband. My how that is annoying. But whatever the opposite of annoying is is how I’d describe even a hint of Kristen Bell body in something lacy in this Showtime series.
To add skin-filled fuel to the fire, Jenny Slate provided a healthy does of the bare fully round asstastic to the same episode, so kind of like a little icing on the voyeuristic cake if you will. I do so love premium cable. If only there were a channel with just the good stuff because honestly, I’ve already seen most bad movies from the 80′s and 90′s and I’d just like to see Kristen Bell half-nekkid in a bed 24×7. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: House Of Lies
Oh, man, the final two week stretch before Valentine’s Day. Do not bow to the pressure. Look, but do not buy the lingerie. Though Victoria’s Secret has no desire to make this any easier on you. More and more angels like Candice Swanepoel and her girl friends in their bras and panties almost daily now. Pushing you to buy. Stay strong, brother.
I know this is a big time of year for the lingerie maker. If not the biggest. And I know these international models who wear their little bits of silk and lace are ridiculously hot. But stick to flowers. Maybe some dinner. A teddy bear. You buy her clothes and you will have failed. My next venture is going to be an advice book for guys. It’ll be mostly pictures, because let’s face it, that’s our language. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret