Bill SwiftWebsite

Serving as the editor-in-chief of Egotastic! since his release behind a women's prison, Bill Swift has managed to overcome a lack of formal education, or professional skills of any kind, to build a small-sized big empire of online entertainment focused on all things men love -- hot women and a bunch of other guy things when taking momentary breaks from thinking about hot women.

Sam Cooke Boob Battles Mellisa Clarke in a Chesty Testy Competition of Ta’s

 

The time has come to put aside our peace pipes for a moment to celebrate the jousting of two jaunty lasses, lovely ladies engaged in the arena of the racktastic, going nipple to nipple in the feverishly hot contest we like to call The Battle of the Boobtastic. There are no losers, only various degrees of wanton lust and epic desire. Such as all conflict should be.

This week's entries into the mammarial battle zone are the blondishly bodacious Sam Cooke, a veteran of such chest bumps, and Mellisa Clarke, no stranger to sweater puppy street battles of hero own. Two cagy veterans, four deliciously perfect engorged funbags. It's time for you to decide. Between these two girls I could never ever have, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Sam Cooke vs Mellisa Clarke

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Sarah Hyland Now a Blonde Hollywood Minx

After finally removing her weak stalker boyfriend from her life, here's to hoping Modern Family sextastic minx Sarah Hyland evolves into the grown up sextastic woman that I have envisioned many times in my night sleep. A little blonde experiment for some nightclub hopping in Hollywood couldn't hurt. No, it couldn't hurt a bit.

Sarah was fairly easy to spot in her tight jeans and colored locks leaving the Warwick Night Club, trying to avoid the paparazzi without much success. Sarah doesn't go for much elaborate wardrobe, just some basic things to remind you that you wish she were you girlfriend. I've wanted her to hold that title since we saw her munching on Chick-Fil-A. Oh, dream girl. Blonde or brunette, I care not. Let's eat some grubby chicken sandwiches and make sweet love in the special sauce. I dare to believe. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Holly Gibbons White Lingerie Striptease Because It’s Simply Just Beautiful

 

Search the meaning of beauty and you'll find a million different answers. I don't recommend it, because it takes away time from Googling more important things like 'honey covered hineys' and such, but the point is, everybody has their own definition of beauty. For me, I'll take the classics. One fine blonde British girl with perky peaches stripping out of white lacy lingerie. Maybe you chose rainbows or the sounds of children laughing on the playground. To each their own. I do not regret Holly Gibbons and her sweet chest peaches in any way shape or kind. Especially that shape or kind bit.

On Wednesdays we celebrate the hump of the week as we do the precious lady lumps that make everyday worth ogling. We don't need elaborate staging or themes or even anything really other than lights, camera, and all the action of one tantalizing girl with bodacious ta-ta's peeling back her silky nothings. Ah, beauty. Huzzah!

Bella Thorne Getting Grown Up Treatment in Latina Magazine

I'm not sure Bella Thorne is any part Latina. I'm not sure much about her biography is entirely dependable other than she's the hit of the Thorne family that has been trying to break into Hollywood with numerous offspring now. I do know she's a fast rising star, television, movies, modeling, and now moving into more mature publications like Latina magazine where she's all made up and showing off her beauty.

The types of decisions that move teen starlet into adult actress and, naturally, some kind of fake singer for summer concerts, doesn't happen without careful consideration. These are literally million dollar decisions. Bella Thorne could become the next Hollywood ingenue, or end up ten years from now on a Where Are They Now segment. This is a dicey game. That's why I like to play Ferdinand and just sit under the cork tree and watch it all. Except for the bees, it's really the way to delight in this dance the best. Enjoy.

Fernanda Uesler Bikini Body Tight Tall and Tan Pefection

Well, hello there, Brazilian hottie model splashing about Miami beach as if the ocean spray might just be groping you indecently, that lucky bastard. Fernanda Uesler forever looks beach ready and body perfect. The tall lean and tight bodied model reminds me of a mix between a beach volleyball player and the girl who used to run the Sno-Cone stand at the park when I was a little Egotastic and just beginning to understand the wonders of peeking down her top as she leaned in to scoop. I typically ordered far more than I could afford just for that affect.

Fernanda, your strut, your body, your everything is just absolutely beach sextastic. I wouldn't change a thing, other than to perhaps change the sky to my bedroom ceiling, lower the lights, and whisper to you in Portuguese something that translates roughly to, 'and now the butter too is made happy'. Enjoy.

Kurara Horie Strips Topless in Pink and Black Lingerie

 

Well, hello Eastern half of the world that we so dramatically and shameless often overlook in our daily exploration of the famous sextastic. Granted, I can only do so much in my few sober hours of the day, especially since the invention of 24x7 televised sports. But the amount of untapped and unrecognized internationally hot local beauties in the Far East, it's something I think about when scientists say things like we've only categorized five percent of the life forms on this planet. The more you dig, the more you find. That's true of gilled species at 15,000 feet deep and incredibly hot glamour models like Kurara Horie stripping out of lingerie in her bedroom.

Kurara Horie has quickly become one of my personal favorite Japanese gravure models. If I were a teen boy in Japan, she would be all over my walls, that's literal and figurative at the same time. Just so incredibly alluring by way of one knockout sextastic Asian body. The complete package. I'd study Japanese for seven years just so I could learn how to properly ask her if I might bathe her. I'm committed. Just so hard to resist. Enjoy.

Nina Agdal Lingerie and Bikini Modeling Rockets the Sextastic Off the Charts

You know those drawn thermometers they use on charts to represent charitable giving or such and when they reach the target somebody draws in something that looks like a bubbled over explosion out of the top? That's a good representation of how I feel when I see Danish Delight Nina Agdal in skimpy little two piece bra and panties or bikini tops and thongs showing off her ridiculously hot body. Only, you know, that's not mercury exploding. Hide the children.

In this new spread for Leonisa lingerie and swimwear, Nina shows precisely why her modeling paychecks are growing exponentially, not geometrically, though I'm not even quite sure what that means. Let's just say, she can afford more rent than two years ago, which she more than deserves, as all crazy hot women deserve special treatment in this life. If not them, then who? That's the question I really need to get on a bumper sticks. Nina, please, don't ever take a day job other than this. Enjoy.