Aronofsky’s ‘Noah’ Now Comes with an Official Disclaimer, Because Paramount Thinks We’re All Idiots

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bill-swift - March 12, 2014

Common sense would dictate that, if you want to make a $160 million bible movie for Christians, you hire a director who's a true believer and will stick pretty close to the source material.

But is that what Paramount did with Noah? Of course not. They hired Darren Aronofsky and gave the green light to a script that featured six-armed angel warriors, because apparently they were under the impression that they could take whatever the guy turned in and transform it into a blockbuster that would please everybody.

Turns out that was a pretty bad plan. Paramount has now tried out as many as six different edits on focus groups only to discover that Christians hate all of them.

So what now? Will Paramount just admit defeat and go with Aronofsky's cut? Yes and no. They will be using the director's cut of the film, of course, because at this point they really have no choice. However, in a last-ditch effort to avoid offending Christian moviegoers, Paramount has decided to put a disclaimer in front of the film and any promotional efforts from here on out:

The film is inspired by the story of Noah. While artistic license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values, and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Noah can be found in the book of Genesis.

You see, Christians? It's okay to go see this movie. There's a disclaimer!


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