Sam Robeson - January 10, 2019
Those of you who have stuck by Ariel Winter through thick and thin can pat yourselves on the penis, because she just stepped out to some HBO thing looking like a million fucking bucks. Her best ever. She's arrived. Ariel looks like a mash-up of Lucy Hale, Emily Ratajkowski, and the 1% of Lana Del Rey that's hot. And I stan. Hard. I Staniel Day-Lewis.
Recently h8ers have been acting shocked that the twenty-year-old lost a few pounds on her hips for ya, but if you look at her Instagram, you'll know that the girl practically sublets at the gym. She earned this body. Winter arrived at HBO's Golden Blowjobs after party in a skimpy unforgiving lace dress and high heels that make her look taller than the Travelocity gnome for the first time ever. I wasn't invited to this particular Golden Blowjobs after party for some reason, but I like to imagine that Winter's unrivaled hotness made every actress there hate herself even more than she already did.
Unfortunately for Winter to succeed, her Modern Family costar Sarah Hyland has had to become Winter's very own sacrificial Picture of Dorian Gray. As Winter gets hotter, Hyland looks more and more like a dried apple doll.
Photo Credit: Splash News / MEGA