Ariana Grande Shakes Her Various Moneymakers as the Jingle Balls Roll On

I'm not even sure what city the Jingle Ball radio station tour landed in last night, I only know Ariana Grande made me want to live another day for the chance to be her boyfriend. On the down low naturally. I wouldn't want my friends to know I was dating Ariana Grande what with her diva reputation. In turn, she might want to keep hush about dating a guy on the doughnut and beer diet who's 'fancy dinners' take place at The Sizzler.

Hot 99.5, wherever that is, hosted Ariana in another one of her brilliantly catty and showy little stage costumes, preening around the stage and singing about something that was important to the computer that generated her song. I'm not sure why Mother Nature gave this minxy pop star a body built for play, but she clearly did. It would be somewhat disrespectful to deny that blessed Fate. Ariana, call me, I can whip up a inflatable pool worth of Jell-O in about forty-five minutes, thirty minutes maybe if I can contain my tears of joy. Those cat-ears and everything beneath them are absolutely killing me. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News