elliot-wolf - March 23, 2018
Angelina Jolie is up there in age but she’s not so old that she completely turns off every man she meets. Most, but not every man. The first signs of liver spots can actually be pretty seductive to some perverts. Even though she’s made a binding oath to skip out on dating it turns out she rather be labeled a liar than to go another 24 hours without getting her pipes cleaned. Jolie is borrowing a tactic often associated with Weinstein and pulling potential partners to sleep with from a pool of priorly cast talent. Her scope is set on Garrett Hedlund who had appeared in her film Unbroken.
Sources say that Garrett has been texting and flirting with Angelina, who seems to have kept his number in her phone since she cast him in Unbroken in 2014. They started out sending emails to each other, and have upgraded to daily texts. “Angie’s incredibly flattered and enjoying Garrett’s attention. He’s like a younger, hotter Brad and she’s confessed to a couple of girlfriends that she’d be up for a fling with him."
The best part about menopause is that when Garrett gets his turn he won’t have to worry about bringing a hat for his jimmy. But he’ll probably need other forms of protection if he does decide to date Angelina. She’s a warlord hunter and adopts anything that moves without a place to call home. It’s safe to assume she’s more than slightly south of a standard score that would deem her sane. I hope Hedlund doesn't mind being a substitute dad. Because if she took in any more children of Asian descent on her next vacation she would be able to open her own stir-fry or Nike sweatshop.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News / Splash News
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