Anastasia Ashley Bikini Pictures Epic Bootyful From the East Coast (Bring Back My Lady!)

As much as I laud Miami and it being the epicenter of all things bikini and hot in this country, nay, this world at this very moment, I'm not so keen on my California girls removing themselves from within my binocular shot to take part in the Miami exhibitionist movement. I admire talent wherever and whenever it appears, but when the likes of Anastasia Ashley and her twerkin' fine bikini bottom leave my vicinity, well, I'm kind of having anxiety attacks here. I'm breathing into a paper bag even as I scroll through photos of Anastasia in various states of bikini and surfing hotness.

I've got to talk to my friends in fake law enforcement (mall security) about getting one of those ankle monitors on Anastasia so she can't roam like this. Albeit, if she''s going to roam, it could be worse than doing so in a tiny striped bikini that shows off her ridiculously hot thumper. Anastasia, come home! Enjoy.