An Open Letter TO Miley Cyrus’ Tongue

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bill-swift - August 29, 2013

Dear Miley Cyrus' tongue,

I speak not only for Egotastic! but for all of humanity when I say that you really need to stay inside Miley's mouth. It's your home, it's where you belong. Lately, we've been seeing entirely too damn much of you. It wasn't just at the VMAs either. Every time we see Miley, you are hanging out of her mouth like the slobbering wet tongue of a basset hound on a hot day. It makes her look bad and it grosses the rest of us out. It's bad enough that you are part of her pitchy ass singing, do you also want to be responsible for making the nation nauseous? It's too bad, because there was a time when many of us dreamed of having you schlobble our collective knobbles. Alas. So, please, stay in her mouth before someone rips you out from the root.


Everyone on the damn planet.

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