Amy Schumer Full Of Crap, Literally

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Sam Robeson - December 31, 2018


Amy Schumer implies in a new Instagram post that she hasn't pooped for five months. Unfortunately instead of exploding, she took a dump this Sunday, and felt the need to share the good news with her Instagram followers. I'm going to say it again. Celebs. Get. Off. Social. Media. Goddamn people. Schumer is currently baking the antichrist in her ovaries, and has been vocal about the debilitating nausea resulting from her pregnancy. There was even a medical term she dropped for it a while ago. It's called - God must hate women because honestly pregnancy is like something out of a horror movie. Or something like that.

While sharing the trails and tribulations of pregnancy might be construed as brave and empowering, with Schumer it's just desperate and self-serving. The woman just talked about taking a shit that's been brewing for five months. Here's the abturdity:

I have felt like I have food poisoning for 5 months but yesterday My body gave me the gift of pooping. The kind you want to take a picture of and send to your sister. So you do and she asks you to please not do that and for all that I am grateful. Happy Sunday guys. I hope you take a really good poop today!

Oh, did I forget to mention she sent a picture of her dump to her poor sister? In some niche kink communities that would be considered an unwanted sexual advance. Just saying. #MePoo. It's worth noting that while Schumer can't stop sharing gruesome details of her pregnancy, her contemporary Lena Dunham can't stop sharing gruesome details of her hysterectomy. Two sides of the same coin. In fact Dunham herself has gotten in on the poop talk before. Just shows that at the end of the day, all celebs are full of shit.

Photo Credit: Instagram

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