All Stars

READER FINDS: Teri Hatcher Bare Boobtastic, Zippora Seven Topless, Gwyneth Paltrow Topless, and Much Much More…

 

We have reached the pinnacle of our weekly existence, that time we ask ourselves the all important question, hey, what the heck is in the email bag this week? Well, it's important to me. I know I'd miss this tradition if it ever ended. Sort of like picking beets with my Aunt Helen every fall, though I'm pretty sure I don't have an Aunt Helen and those things in the basement were not beets. Nevertheless, I cherish this particularly weekly custom for it brings me closer to you, you to me, and in a way where nobody gets Ebola or has to lie to their significant other. I do so love the weekly Reader Finds.

(Credits and listings to follow shortly, I really do just need a couple beers, promise...)

Thank God It’s Funbags! Minami Kojima Nekkid Wet and Soapy in the Bath and Shower for Dirty Thoughts Galore

 

Ooh, a TGIF Japanese edition. This might just be the end of me. Or you. Or both of us, though in separate places, naturally. Minami Kojima is one fine looking Asian glamour models who must be on the tip of every teen boy's libido in her homeland. I'd have her poster on my wall if it could be easily hidden from my parents during bed check.

I'm not sure why Minami feels the need to soap and scrub her nekkid ridiculously hot body so thoroughly, but I'd like to imagine perhaps she feels a bit soiled with her naughty thoughts of me. I might be wrong, but I don't care. Seeing her lather up her outstanding nekkid female form just makes me want to applaud the person who invented bubbles that pop. Minami, I'm in love. It's the most powerful emotion in the universe. Well, second perhaps to blind ravaging lust. I also have that. This simply can't be stopped. Thank God It's Funbags!

Eva Green and Ruth Wilson Topless Goodness in the Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

 

The good and semi-decent folks at Mr. Skin have sorted through a large number of skin on screen clips this week to thrill, dazzle, and poorly pun you into a happy submission. The Mr. Skin Minute is sort of like a weather forecast where the prognosis is always hot and sticky. That might sound disturbing, but it was actually the general forecast most days I lived in Southern Georgia. I miss the pie. I'm referring to the cobbler now, not the ladies. Though, both now that I think of it.

This week's Mr. Skin Minute includes the rather fetching Eva Green topless in the first season of Penny Dreadful  now out on Blu-Ray, Ruth Wilson getting it on big time in The Affair new on Showtime, and Juliet Rylance flashing her topless debut on The Kinck. It's a power packed skin-filled minute of celebrity thespianic boobtastic. I wouldn't miss it. I didn't. I've seen it thrice. I'd recommend you try and beat my record.

Naturally, I will condemn you to the seventh level of Satan's residence, also known as Gwyneth Paltrow's house, if you do not get yourself an Ego discounted Mr. Skin Membership. All the cool kids have one. Think of it as a penis. You may not think you want one, but when it comes time to shower in P.E., you're going to wish you did.

Bethanie Badertscher and Lauren Elise Topless Autumnal Play Time for Our Latest Playboy.TV Hot Pimping Offer

 

Somebody ripped on me recently for noticeably omitting autumn in my largely craptastic seasonal shoutouts and tributes and very bad puns. He's right. I've fallen short on autumn. Well, no longer. Thanks to the help of Playboy cybergirls Bethanie Badertscher and Lauren Elise playing topless in the changing leaves, we have the chance to celebrate the most underrated of seasons. Football, Halloween, Thanksgiving, me sitting home on Homecoming Dance night. This is all autumn. As are Bethanie and Lauren wearing scarves and raking leaves. I think that's what they're doing, I'm having a hard time completely focusing at the moment.

PLAYBOY TV IS FREE FOR ONE WEEK BECAUSE FREE IS THE BEST EVER PRICE!

I do so lust my Playboy girls. In honor of the change of seasons and the oncoming of brutally cold temperatures and asphyxiation by way of space heaters, our friends at PlayboyPlus are offering their Playboy.TV service free for one week of awesome taking out for a spin. You will fall in love with the world class beauties therein I am quite certain. It's a special kind of love I delight in many a brisk evening while stirring marshmallows into my cocoa, and or drinking lots of warm rum. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Lucie Wilde Nekkid Yoga Will Blow Your Freaking Down Dog

 

Sometimes, all the time, you just need a cute girl with enormous tubes doing nekkid yoga on the balcony to get your blood flowing properly through your most important chakras. I'm sure I don't know what I'm talking about yoga wise. But I do have a bit of experience with the nekkid female form. Not in person so much, but through the visual displays of such well-bosomed hotties as Luci Wilde whose display of the Eastern exercise arts out in the fresh air really has to be seen to be believed. And seen privately not to be locked up.

Luci Wilde and her fully loaded funbags remind us that sometimes glamour models do live up to their made up last names. Also, just how much grandly large ta-ta's can lift your spirits. It really is like a magic trick. And when Luci goes on all fours supine, well, something more than just a rabbit pops out of the hat. Huzzah!

Anna Orlova Topless Because Crazy Hot Models Look Better in Topless

 

Do you happen to like rising star Russian models with ridiculously hot bodies showing off their anatomical skill sets in black and white shoots? If so, and, by the way, yes you do, then you'll lust love this Anna Orlova shoot by Christophe Boussamba featuring the stunning St. Petersburg native flashing her bodily wares in the artistic monochromatic visual bit of wonderment. Seeing Anna's keester and overly delicious frontside, I'm reminded that outstanding women don't just grow on trees. But if they did, I would clear out all my shrubs and plant that tree in an instant.

It's important that everybody find their own source of inspiration on life. Wherever you can find it. Me, I'm a simple man. I'll take Anna Orlova, a perfect pair of funbags, and a body that would get me to move mountains if only she smiled and tossed her hair coyly when she asked. I am man Jell-O before such sextastic. Enjoy.

Lucy Collett Black Body Suit Striptease Floats My Ginger Lusting Boat

 

Okay, I know Lucy Collett isn't a real redhead. But she seems pretty real all the way around elsewise and all of that elsewise is flashing before my eyes quite merrily whilst checking her stripping out of a black body suit for the general love of full, fluffy funbags. Lucy Collett doesn't need to waste time with all the fancy photo setups, stagings, stylings, and themes. How about this for a motif? One cute and busty British redhead with bodacious boobtastic flashing her love guns for your viewing pleasure? Yes, I know, it sounded really good to me too.

On Tuesdays we like to celebrate the unleashed cans of our favorite sextastic celebrities. Lucy Collett isn't for everyone. But she is for me. I say, the Good Lord gave you two hands for a reason. With Lucy, you could probably use four. But I hate to quibble. Enjoy.