All Stars

River the Model Nekkid Hot and Au Natural in the Boudoir for Purple Magazine

 

Whenever performers or entertainers or models go by one name, I'm always forced to think, did they really earn that distinction or are they just claiming it. Kendall Jenner wants to be known simply as Kendall. Sorry, dear, you've got maybe a decade of being a supermodel before you earn the right to own the new age suburban girls name. But, now, there's the case of an L.A. model who goes by River. Just, River. Before I could even get into my judgmental phase on the naming, I ran into her photos shot by Darren Ankenman for Purple Magazine. Wow. Damn. And a few other phrases I can't recite because of the grade schoolers who read this cite from P.S 137 in Brooklyn. Hey, little fellas!

River is such a fine specimen of natural young blonde hottie model beauty, she could call herself Nixon and I'd be fine with it. Heck, I'd get a tattoo saying 'me and Nixon XOXOXO forever'. I am heels over head in lust with this ingenue and her spectacularly nature made female form. Well done, River. I am thinking of at least seventeen different naughty puns involving your name as we speak. I'd love to share them with you as we take pictures in my Red Roof Inn suites and delight in experiencing the teachings of my new book, Tantric Orgasm in Five Minutes or Less. It's Tantric for busy people. River, let's get on this. Enjoy.

Isabella Rossini Naked News Entertainment Report (Yep, She’s Nekkid and On Point)

 

It's time for the Naked News weekly entertainment report. Think of it as Entertainment Tonight if Mary Hart had ever answered my prayers and hosted the show nekkid. Never happened. But you can see Isabella Rossini, the fetching anchor on Naked News stripping down and talking Chelsea Handler and Mission Impossible. Now that's how to get your entertainment news. Sorry, E!, but your time is over.

Check out the Naked News Weekly Entertainment report VIDEO, is it NSFW, so, you know, close the door first. Enjoy.

Jennifer Akerman Topless Artsy Pool Hotness for Galore Magazine

 

Malin's little sister is doing alright alright if you ask my inner McConaughey. Unlike her older sister, Jennifer Akerman has focused mostly on modeling which is a career field often open to hot looking Swedish girls with outrageously alluring bodies.

Featured in the current issue of Galore magazine, Jennifer naturally slips into a pool with her clothes on, takes some off, shows off some faptastic funbags, and just looks all around Nordic passion inducing for the cameras. I'm not sure who spent the art ideating time coming up with the need for clothes in the pool, but at least they had the decency to let Jennifer unleash a bit of her raw nekkid chest puppy power that makes this one of my favorite pictorials of the week. If my Swedish were better, I'd say something naughty that means me hungry beaver, you tree. But it isn't. Enjoy.

Mellisa Clarke Topless Poolside Plums and Peaches Fun Time

 

Mellisa Clarke might just be my perfect woman. Well, I mean, technically she's have to have the capability of transforming into a 50-inch flat screen TV with the NFL premium package on Sundays to be perfect, but I'm working with my Tinder counselor to be more lenient in my acceptance of the flaws of my potential mates.

Melissa's semi-brooding brunette come hither looks and that raw natural animal hot bodied magnetism enhanced every time she removes her top, it's just the stuff of dreams. At least my dreams many times per evening. The thought of her floating topless in my pool, let alone having a pool in the first place, just icing on the delicious cake that is Mellisa Clarke. Whoomp there it is. We really need bring that back. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lawrence Nipple Slip at Mockingjay After Party in Jolly Old England

 

Hello there, Jennifer Lawrence funbags. We haven't seen you since, well, since a time a couple months ago that we're not supposed to talk about in front of polite company. Luckily, we are only mildly polite here at Egotastic! so we can sneak this blessed peek of your braless peaks within an elegantly open white dress.

Jennifer Lawrence, her plunging neckline, and some semblance of her sweet nipples were visible as she cavorted with Lorde in the back of limo in London following the Hunger Games Mockingjay premiere party in London. I can't imagine how my invitation got lost in the mail, perhaps a ship at sea went down. Nevertheless, I'm glad we get to share in what has to be the highlight of the party. Jennifer Lawrence, ever so sextastic, the bubbly farting dream girl next door. And these are her ta-ta's. Just outstanding. Enjoy.

Ruth Wilson And Her Topless Affair Boobtastic Lead the Pack in the Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO)

 

The smaller shows tend to shine this time of year in the Boob Tube Roundup. A foray into the faptastic morass of shows you may not even know exist, but you should, and you should be watching. I'm pretty sure checking out sextastic topless thespianics on the small screen was the 11th Commandment that got left behind perhaps even intentionally because somebody lacked vision about the rise of premium cable.

This week's Roundup includes Ancilla Tilia quite blonde and hot and big girl topless in Popoz, a Dutch comedy on their Comedy Central, Ruth Wilson with another week of her unfaithful topless faithfulness on The Affair on Showtime, and Meaghan Rath having crazy making of the sexy time with Nick Jonas, I know, on Kingdom on DirecTV. Some fresh flesh as it were. Do grant yourself the gift of viewing. Enjoy.

Topless Porn Stars Hit New Jersey, I Mean, Even Harder Than Usual

 

It was time for the Exxxotica Expo in Edison, New Jersey over the weekend where everybody who is not too shy to go express their fondness for porn in a public setting got to meet their favorite adult film stars. I'm not such a liar as to state I don't have my own favorites, but I would say I might tend to shy away from the gathering of like minded fappers. Just the chance to run into my Uncle Ernie who lives near Newark would give me pause.

Nevertheless, the show delivered big time with the lovely ladies of adult entertainment flashing their wares in their promo booths to get thousands of men all fired up and ready to go home and watch their particular content. You wouldn't think porn is the kind of subject that needs lots of promotional events. It sort of sells itself. Nevertheless, just knowing so many giving women were in the same place at the same time gives me hope for humanity. Also, kind of a boner. Check out the gallery and see if you can spot your personal favorite. Enjoy.