Look, it’s the season of giving and all that. So when EgoReader ‘Dennis’ tells me if I don’t share photos of his favorite glamourous model Tommie Jo
, he’s going to have a shizz fit, well, who am I not to play virtual Santa for Dennis. I assume he’s been naughty, that’s a given for all Egotastic! readers, but unlike St. Nick, I don’t see naughty and nice as mutually exclusive qualities. That’s very linear thinking. No offense, Big Guy.
Tommie Jo certainly has a female form you won’t soon forget, at least not until you try to best Uncle Rod’s spiked egg nog drinking family record, then you’ll forget everything but your desire to find a lavatory because a gallon of milk if a gallon of milk. Speaking of, the densely rich cream Tommie Jo pours down her top like a truly gourmand is the finest seasons greetings I can think of.
I’ve seen the shoppers out there in the evening hours. It’s brutal. Stay safe, shop online and keep this gallery open while you do. Trust me, stress will pour out of your body along with anything else that might be your private concern. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Tommie Jo
Oh, Sweet Mellisa, how I’ve missed you so. A day, a week, could it be even a month without goth brunette hottie Mellisa Clarke is like an eternity absent and devoid of her simply spectacular sextastic simple charms. Au natural and very little in the way of production is how Mellisa rolls. Myself as well, though nobody’s going to hit the brakes hard to check out my topless lingerie spreads, I mean, not until I have my summer body ready.
On Tuesdays we celebrate the ta-ta’s that make life worth living and eyeballs worth having and the happy tingles Mother Nature ensured when she connected our retinal cones almost directly to our family jewels. Well, played Ms. Nature. And well done once more, Mellisa Clarke. Your body inspires me to be a better man, or, in the least, a man who has given up the hobby of lawn darts in order to spend more time drooling over your photos. It really is far safer and more satisfactory a sport. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Mellisa Clarke
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Hello hot Romanian model flashing her funbags for Vogue Brazil. The world simply can’t get enough magical looking brunettes with perfectly au natural boobtastic showing off for the love of lady fashion in international magazines. That’s what I tell myself each month as I retrieve my stack of foreign fashion periodicals from my doorstep risking the wrath of the neighborhood skate punks who mock my choice in subscriptions.
Little do those twerps know the beauty of Diana Moldovan who lay betwixt the scented pages of this magazine showing off her chestal goodies. But I know. And I share with you, because sharing means caring, and when it’s gorgeous topless women, it’s more than just caring, it’s outright love. Get comfortable with that. We’re just that close. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Vogue Brazil
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One of the most common questions I receive, really second most to ‘when do you think you’ll have my money back to me?’ is ‘does your future wife Edita Vilkeviciute still have absolutely perfect funbags and a statuesque lean Lithuanian sextastic female form? I usually try to mumble and mutter around the answer to the first question, but as to the second, well, a definitive yes!
As you know, Edita and I have been taking steps toward holy matrimony for several years now, impeded only by my chivalrous desire to give her all the time and space she needs to take the final plunge. Or the first step. One of the two. Either way, this is a romance for the ages. And if you take a peek at Edita topless in black and white in this pictorial for SSAW Magazine, you might just realize why I wait daily at the altar for her to make her appearance. The wedding night along is worth a multi-year stoic stance at the front of the aisle in a rented tuxedo. The honeymoon and the two to four months of unabashed ecstasy before she wakes from her coma and demands a divorce will be equally priceless. Oh, future Mrs. Egoatastic, how you do make the tulips blossom with your very touch. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Scandinavia SSAW Magazine
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Be still my fast beating and Latina hottie telenovela veteran star lusting heart. Okay, I was going to pick another organ, but for the sake of the children, I went with heart.
Andrea Garcia has been churning out the bitch slapping temptress roles in soap operas down Mexico way for many years now, but you wouldn’t believe she was thirty-nine sextastic years old perhaps reviewing and examining as a scientist her pictorial in this month’s Playboy Mexico. Just so damn en fuego. The brunette wicked wanton women who routinely grace the visual pages of Mexico’s melodramas are simply some of the finest women in the world. And they just seem to get more alluring with time. Like Andrea Garcia. I mean, really really like her. Disfruta.
Photo credit: Playboy Mexico
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Oh, yes, December. The time for lists I absolutely abhor and lists I absolutely love. In the latter category, most definitely, the Top 10 Celebrity Nude Scenes of the Year from our good and indecent friends at Mr. Skin.
I invite you to check out the Top 3 Mr. Skin Nude Scenes of the Year (or below):
And for those of you who can’t get enough, like me the people I respect, check out the All Top 10 Nude Scenes of 2014 at Mr. Skin. This is an experience that guarantees happy thoughts going into your holiday shopping weekend.
Photo Credit: Mr. Skin
You start mixing in words like Miss Bum Bum, topless, and a magazine south of the border simply known as Sexy, and you have my full and undivided attention. Not a single teacher K-12 was ever able to accomplish that feat. Though to be fair, none of them were world class asstastic models who stripped naked on the beach for photo shoots. Not that I know of at least, perhaps Ms. Harwell, she was a looker.
Indianara Carvalho knows exactly what to do with her new found booty fame. Show off her thumper and her other delicious parts so that even more of the manfolk and Sapphic leaning lovers of the Sudamericana ladies grow extremely fond of her. She’s certainly at the top of my list when asking for places to bunk during the 2016 Olympics down Rio way. Indianara, I’m quiet as a mouse, even while you have you way with me, I’ll just muffle quietly on the bandana you stuff in my mouth. I’m a good house guest that way. Thank God It’s Funbags!
Photo Credit: GSI