Somebody’s got to sell this mysteriously unnerving water slash hot model girl photo production outlet. Why not the near brunette twinsies power of Kaylee J Lavigne and Saab Marty, just a couple of young models who delight in surfing, or at least rubbing their big bad Funions up against a surfboard while one lucky bastard snaps away.
This photoshoot is labeled as Baywatch tribute, though I’d hate to think you could tribute such classic high brow content with two albeit sweet bodied girls falling out of their red beach patrol swimsuits. For instance, where’s the inspiring music? Where are the fake water rescues filmed in somebody’s pool? Nope. This isn’t a tribute or an homage. This work stands entirely on its own. And it’s pretty darned ogle worthy in it’s own right. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
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I’m pretty sure 50 Shades of Grey saw a 99% drop-off in box office after the first ginormous week. I guess the ladies who went to see it burnt themselves out a bit and the men are still hiding somewhere on a small island behind trees. But there’s no doubt there will be sequels along the lines of the book trilogy because that silly BDSM movie still made a mini-fortune. Such is the power of the three letter word that starts with an ‘s’ and ends with a ‘x’ and is not a music instrument though it can make blessed sounds.
This seemed like the right time to revisit our earlier sort of low resolution bits of handcuffed funbaggery stills from the rather racy film with a sharper look at Dakota Johnson in quite the breakout role. Go big or go home. At least, go nekkid and be spanked or go home. All the credit in the world to this second generation Hollywood star for taking on this role and the critiques that obviously come with. Blessings to your courage and slender topless bound body all in the same. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: “50 Shades Of Grey” Focus Features
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My good friend Mr. Skin is the kind of guy who would bail you out of jail without hesitation. Of course, he’d probably be the reason you were in the slammer in the first place, so there’s that for the balance sheet. But when he told me he wanted everybody on Egotastic to check out the ridiculously hot and topless winners of his 16th Annual Anatomy Awards, I said, mofo, show me the Roku. So he did.
CHECK OUT ALL THE WINNERS FROM THE 16th ANNUAL ANATOMY AWARDS
Check out all the topless smoking hot winners of this year’s Anatomy Awards and enter yourself to win a Roku 3. This prize ain’t for everybody, only the sexy people. Oh, and Egotastic! Readers. We are considered a big get now. We can probably get good tables at Marie Callender’. This is huge. Enjoy.
Check Out the Anatomy Award Winners »
It’s time, boys, girls, Bruce Jenner, for a one minute peek at the finest in skin filled fineries filmed or otherwise video recorded as spied by our friends at Mr. Skin.com
. I like to think of them as our brothers from another mother, that mostly only show up when there’s free beer at our place. You know how it goes.
This week’s skin-filled minutes includes a peek at Margot Robbie not quite nekkid in the new Will Smith film focus, but hella hot and unclad in the Wolf of Wall Street, Amanda Peet in her return to the the boob revelations in HBO’s Togetherness, and a look at Alexandra Daddario and all the beautifully boobtastic women rounding out the winner’s circle in the 16th Annual Anatomy Awards. There’s more hot flesh there than you can shake a stick at. Just make sure it really is a stick if you’re around parks or places where children congregate. You’re too handsome for prison. Enjoy.
While you’re on Cloud Nine, be sure to check out a Guided Tour of the Mr. Skin.com celebrity flesh filled factory. It’s like visiting Fort Knox, if sweet fubags were gold. That’s not really an ‘if’.
Check Out the Uncensored Mr. Skin Minute Video »
It’s time, kids. That once a week we all get together with the parachute and flap it around in various formations because it’s raining outside and our teachers are super lazy. Only this parachute contains a full set of sextastic celebrities in various stage of hotness undress. So much better for kids and adults like. I really should be put in charge of bad weather day activities. I’d really turn things around for the happier.
This week’s Reader Finds includes the delightfully hot Nicole Trunfio barely covering her goodies (thank you to EgoReader ‘Nate’ for his contribution), Emmanuelle Seigner topless and covered in milk for skinematics (sweet find from ‘Franklin’), Linda Fiorentino topless in one mega epic bad movie (Linda hotness reigned hard via ‘Thomas T.’), Marie Jose Crozee in the small screen version of The Hunger (lovely tetas provided by ‘Devon’), Marina Shako topless country cowgirl hotness (outdoorsy funbags delivered by ‘Erica’), more Nicole Trunfio glamour shots, this time topless (topless is hard to beat, thanks ‘Orson’), Elsa Patakay topless perfection in the shower (boobtastic blessings from ‘Romeo’), sextastic Beau Garrett topless see-through au natural naughtiness (love the lean ladies does ‘Fredrick E.’), what appears to be Miley Cyrus topless counting money, seems legit, the money part I mean, and a lovely bit of nip slip from Behati Prinsloo post Oscars (both uncovered by helpful ‘David M.’), Amanda Seyfried crazy hot classic shoot (Nordic princess poses via ‘Scott’), and Emily Browning lingerie topless bondage (these only get better, thanks ‘Stephen R.’). I’d recommend perusing this all during your next yard break. You’ll be the hit of Cell Block D. Enjoy.
Check out All the Uncensored Reader Finds »
How much do I lust crazy hot blonde German fashion models pouring water over their barely clad bodies? I can’t count that high. Not with my shoes on. Suffice it to say Julia Almendra is absolutely stunning with a capital ‘Me Want!’ in this LookBook set of photos highlighting her diaphanous hotness.
Someday, I imagine I’ll be ambling along a beach side path and come across a smoking hot blonde model with epic melons just shimmering perfect in the sunlight. It’s probably the last you’ll ever hear of me. Either she’ll accept my proposal and we’ll set sail on a raft that very afternoon or I’ve died and gone to heaven. Julia, you are absolutely killing me, kindly, softly, but most definitely sternly, you Germanic vision of passion. I want to look away, but I simply can’t. Such is her power and/or my weakness. Well done, Julia. That body, damn. Bye. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Henrik Purienne Photographs The LookBook For Jens Pirate Booty
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We follow many heiresses and next gen celebrity offspring on this little blog of ours. Let’s face it, rich famous good looking people tend to make good looking progeny. Damn you, genetics. But Lydia Hearst, heir to the Hearst publishing fortune, really is one of our unsung heroes. The alt-model shows up about once every year or two in a new set of topless pictures in fashion and style magazines. Sort of at random, but never without satisfaction of the visual variety.
In her latest revelations in Treats magazine, the New York based bit of brunette lovely, peels back her top to reveal her absolutely perfect pair of pouty puppies. I alliterate when I get excited, excuse me. Look past all the art and style and feast your peeps upon a beautiful woman who also happens to be worth a cool $100 million. That shouldn’t matter, but it does to me as I need a woman to keep me in the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed. Granted, that can likely be achieved through about $500 worth of Groupons, but I wouldn’t mind a trip to the Mall of America at some point in my life. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Treats! Magazine
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