If you’re going to produce something called the Francesca Cipriani calendar, you darn well better have Italian hottie TV starlet Francesa Cipriani in the calendar. And if you have her topless, why then, you have something the business world likes to call, healthy sales.
The sweet blonde Big Brother contestant and TV show hostess from The Boot made sure that her finest foot was forward, not to mention her delicious funbags in this tribute to the many months of the year. I think there are twelve this year. Though were they all marked by hot photos of Francesca, I’d vote for a few extra months this annum. The months of Faptastic and Sextastic could easily follow after April. I wonder how you say, I want to make many many babies with you, in Italian. All I know how to say is I have traveler’s diarrhea and I need to find the nearest bathroom. I’ve learned that phrase in all the world’s major languages. Somehow I don’t see that impressing Francesca. Enjoy.
Photo Credit:Eva 3000 Magazine
So often people say to me, hey, Bill, you owe me twenty bucks. Then I wonder why I even bothered with with fake mustache and glasses to begin with. Perhaps the second most common comment I get is, hey, how about more wicked hot Hungarian sextastic celebs? Why not.
You may know Linda Zimany from perhaps her most famous incident as that hot Playboy model who a drunk Jude Law tried to make out with in a Budapest bar. Not that I blame him for being sloppy drunk or desperately trying to get lucky with Linda Zimany. Therefore but the grace of God go I. Which only makes sense if that means, why God can’t I live Jude Law’s life?
Nevertheless, now it’s time to know Linda from her heavenly Bunny magazine shoot for her homeland courtesy of our good friends at PlayboyPlus, purveyors of all things globally hot and nekkid. In her lone shoot for the glamour magazine, Linda shows why she just might look ridiculously alluring to the male of the species, with or without distilled beverages. I would not throw Linda out of bed for eating crackers, or even three of my ten toes. Hot blonde zombie works for me. Enjoy.
Playboy Plus is celebrating March with the return of the $1 Sign Up special from Playboy Plus. It does not get any better than this. One dollar, one-hundred thousand gloriously hot nekkid women. Do the math, Lord knows I can’t.
Photo Credit: PlayboyPlus
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Based on my observations over time, I’d have to say that most every oceanside cliff in this world is either currently, or just about to be, occupied by a hot topless model. Not necessarily so of steppes of wheat or mountains of snow. But something about those cliffs overlooking the ocean that seem to call the finest female forms to action.
Aussie model turned London resident turned another amazing seaside topless subject Shannon Lawson flexed and stretched and preened her wicked hot topless form for the benefit of Neptune and gentleman ogler’s everywhere. When hot bodies and desperate leering come together, it’s some kind of magical symbiosis that ought sound the trumpets of heaven. Though that might be a giveaway that we’re peeking. Bless you, Shannon and your long distant gaze. We can keep a secret. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Cameron Mackie For Yume Magazine
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Okay, this week’s Boob Tube Roundup is short and sweet, just the way I like my coffee. Err, I mean, my ladies. The point is, there wasn’t much in the way of sextastic this past week on the little screen primarily due to scheduled breaks and upcoming premieres of new seasons of some of the bigger shows. But, I did spy with my ogling eye a couple cuts worth peeking in on.
Olivia Luccardi offered up some spectacular dark room but quite visible bare beautiful boobtastic in the opening episode of the third season of House of Cards which just came out on Netflix. Joining Olivia was Lisa Edelstein flashing about as much veteran smooshed sideboob as legally allowed on basic cable. Oh, that we could ever get out of the 19th century here. But, thankfully, we have many options these days to satiate our need for skin speed. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: “Girlfriends’ Guide To Divorce” Bravo/”House Of Cards” Netflix
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Somebody’s got to sell this mysteriously unnerving water slash hot model girl photo production outlet. Why not the near brunette twinsies power of Kaylee J Lavigne and Saab Marty, just a couple of young models who delight in surfing, or at least rubbing their big bad Funions up against a surfboard while one lucky bastard snaps away.
This photoshoot is labeled as Baywatch tribute, though I’d hate to think you could tribute such classic high brow content with two albeit sweet bodied girls falling out of their red beach patrol swimsuits. For instance, where’s the inspiring music? Where are the fake water rescues filmed in somebody’s pool? Nope. This isn’t a tribute or an homage. This work stands entirely on its own. And it’s pretty darned ogle worthy in it’s own right. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
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I’m pretty sure 50 Shades of Grey saw a 99% drop-off in box office after the first ginormous week. I guess the ladies who went to see it burnt themselves out a bit and the men are still hiding somewhere on a small island behind trees. But there’s no doubt there will be sequels along the lines of the book trilogy because that silly BDSM movie still made a mini-fortune. Such is the power of the three letter word that starts with an ‘s’ and ends with a ‘x’ and is not a music instrument though it can make blessed sounds.
This seemed like the right time to revisit our earlier sort of low resolution bits of handcuffed funbaggery stills from the rather racy film with a sharper look at Dakota Johnson in quite the breakout role. Go big or go home. At least, go nekkid and be spanked or go home. All the credit in the world to this second generation Hollywood star for taking on this role and the critiques that obviously come with. Blessings to your courage and slender topless bound body all in the same. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: “50 Shades Of Grey” Focus Features
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My good friend Mr. Skin is the kind of guy who would bail you out of jail without hesitation. Of course, he’d probably be the reason you were in the slammer in the first place, so there’s that for the balance sheet. But when he told me he wanted everybody on Egotastic to check out the ridiculously hot and topless winners of his 16th Annual Anatomy Awards, I said, mofo, show me the Roku. So he did.
CHECK OUT ALL THE WINNERS FROM THE 16th ANNUAL ANATOMY AWARDS
Check out all the topless smoking hot winners of this year’s Anatomy Awards and enter yourself to win a Roku 3. This prize ain’t for everybody, only the sexy people. Oh, and Egotastic! Readers. We are considered a big get now. We can probably get good tables at Marie Callender’. This is huge. Enjoy.
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