All Stars

Penelope Cruz, Paz Vega, Spanish Topless Hotties In El Especial Mr. Skin Playlist (VIDEO)

 

If you've known me for a week, let alone since the dawn of time, you know I love two things: my family and hot Iberian women. Even between those, there is one I can live without. Sorry, mom. But let's be realistic. Penelope Cruz and Paz Vega and their sextastic peers, that beats your Thanksgiving turkey.

Egotastic Readers, 3-Days Free of Mr. Skin for the Price of None, That's a Bargain

Our friends at Mr. Skin are celebrating lovely Latin ladies and their fondness for Egotastic! Readers by offering you this must watch Spanish hotties video playlist along with a 3-Day Free Trial Membership to Mr. Skin. I dig the good folks at Mr. Skin. They have a deep understanding of all the things we love. They've got celebrity flesh up the wazoo.

Check out the Latinas. Check out Mr. Skin. Find yourself 19% more happy than you were before. That's an approximation, it could go as high as shit-eating grin status. Enjoy.

Humpday Huzzah! Abbey Barnsley Topless Poolside Plump Plum Exhibition

 

Sometimes you just need a little roundball in your life. Or perfectly round funbags of glamour models such as Abbey Barnsley who might appeal to you if you happen to dig blonde British girls with noteworthy curves who slink and preen poolside. So, maybe some of you, if not all. Abbey doesn't necessarily fit into the au natural stepped out of the shower nature girl, but she fits rather neatly into numerous happy times dreams I have regarding myself, a hot stacked blonde, and a date for the finest restaurant in town we never quite make. Which works out well for me on two fronts, since I can't possibly afford the finest restaurant in town. I have to go into my change cup just to get the double double at In & Out.

On Wednesday's, we celebrate the gift of the hot middle of the week and that blessed terrain on fine female form from whence so many dreams are inspired. Really, who would want to grow up to be a man in  a world without ta-ta's? I just shuddered down to my soul, briefly, but profoundly. Nay, I'll take the planet where the likes of Abbey Barnsley flashes her blessed mammaries simply because it makes the world smile. Huzzah!

Mariana Goulart Topless Nekkid Oiled Down Brazilian Goodness (That’s a Mouthful, Or Two)

 

Sometimes you just need a little Goulart in your life. I've said that before many times about Izabel Goulart, the hottie Victoria's Secret model. I don't know if outrageously unctuous hot Mariana Goulart is related to Izabel or if that's just a last name given to girls with crazy hot bodies in Brazil when they turn eighteen. That would be some kind of ceremony I'd like to attend. The Annual Goularts.

Featured in H Para Hombres magazine south of the border, Mariana shows what an amazingly sextastic female form, no clothes, and one well baby-oiled down body can do for a camera. Not to mention the leering public who catches sight of the results. Wow. I wonder if in Brazil if they don't just call it a Local Waxing. This definitely warrants further investigation. Enjoy.

Clara Settje Topless American Model Alluring Perfection

 

Oh, I don't know, who wants to see a super sextastic tall American blonde model with the face of an angel and the funbags of the devil's perfect plaything taking off her clothes in a sultry photoshoot? Aye says me! Clara Settje may have an exotic sounding name, but this Yankee Doodle Dandy has been making waves in New York and Paris and now probably your Dockers with her innocent but alluring good looks and that body, oh, that body of a true lady Siren.

Featured in this Matteo Montanari picture set, Clara shows that a beautiful girl with perfect ta-ta's can do no wrong and so much so very right just with a glance to the camera, a wiggle in her position, and some stellar teats delivered straight from Athena herself. Is this what love feels like? Certainly deep and abiding lust, love's much simpler and more fierce emotional sibling. Clara, bless your heart. Enjoy.

Abbey Lee Kershaw and Behati Prinsloo Topless Angels For Russell James

 

We have a new sneak peek at the lovely topless and black and white likes of model hotties Abbey Lee Kershaw and Behati Prinsloo quite without clothes and flashing their lovely yams for photographer Russell James and his glamorous new book, Angels. I think it's on sale soon. I think it would make an awesome edition to my own library of hotness.

There are two tricks to producing such outstanding works of topless visual wonderment. First, convince some of the world's best looking women to take their clothes off for your camera. That step one is no small hurdle. Seriously, try it. The second is to be a skilled shutterbug with the right lighting and just enough spray bottles to keep your lovely lady models properly moist for visual capture. That second one is a unique skill as well, though I dare say I could excel in the art of the spray bottle. Please, Russell, hire me for your next shoot. I will work for sandwiches and memories. Enjoy.

Leah Francis Topless Striptease for Bedroom Titillations (And a Few Heart Palpitations)

 

There is perhaps no greater gift or curse than the male private parts. At times, I look skyward and lament to the heavens about all the poor choices and errant decision making in the name of the bobos. It's usually about the time I'm wondering why I'm being billed for the Oprah channel on cable. Then there are times when that blessed little (err, big) gift from Mother Nature just finds its happy place. As in the leering of Leah Francis stripping out of her clothes and revealing her perfect peaches for the love of all things lusty. Today, I am glad to be a man. I am most days, except those rare occasions when my really attractive lesbian friend has a couple drinks and tells me she wishes I were a woman. On those days... well, I can't help but imagine.

Leah Francis always makes me feel special. Like she's removing her unnecessary wardrobe just for me. Such is the power of the sextastic lady with skills of both the bodily and psychiatric variety. She moves me form and soul. Bless you, Leah, for all the goodness you bring this world without ever asking for a thing other than our full and undivided attention. Enjoy.

Svea Berlie Topless Dutch Treat With Ginger Teats of Honey

 

Now, I don't for a second believe that Dutch model hottie Svea Berlie is a natural ginger. But the power of my mind to believe what it wants to believe is truly unparalleled in the realm of self-deception. So for today Svea is my ginger crush, all goofily made up, but undeniably hot and topless and flashing her pretty perfect puppies in this teasy Andrew Kuykendall photoshoot.

It's a truly wonderful thing that European models know, expect, and even encourage the topless style pictorials. I have to respect a value system that values fine female forms enough to show them off to an admiring public. I wish we could develop similar philosophies more domestically here where we still treat delicious mammaries as Satan's handiwork. Someday perhaps. I'll keep trying on my end. In the mean time, revel in the leering meal time that is the sextastic and topless body of Svea Berlie, a true Dutch treat. Enjoy.