All Stars

Emilia Clarke and Carice Van Houten Game Up Topless Wonderments in the Boob Tube Roundup (VIDEO

 

Welcome back, Game of Thrones. Okay, so it didn't really go anywhere, but it has been a whole week without so much as a beheading, a blood letting, or, most importantly, some sweet bare boobtastic on the small screen courtesy of some medieval hotties like Emilia Clarke and Carice Van Houten, both of whom showed off their tubular tops on this week's episode.

Joining the gals from GOT in the Boob Tube Roundup is Thandie Newton, once again nekkid in Rogue (though mighty bloody too, be forewarned) and a few shots of some chained heat style toplessness from the new Australian show Wentworth. Okay, it's actually a reboot of a previous chicks in jail show called The Prisoner, but, the topless goodies are all quite new. Check it all out. Small screen, big payload. Enjoy.

Kiara Mia Topless Bikini Pictures from Miami Beach For Your Matured Themed Entertainment Needs

 

It's a weird phenomenon that many adult film stars are quite shy and timid about attention in public when not at their more showy type jobs. Once they punch out, so to speak, it's back to normal, quiet, wallflower time. But Latina adult film star Kiara Mia is no wallflower. Nope.

She and her gal pal took off their bikini tops on Miami Beach over the weekend to get some almost all over tanning time in. Or, if you're more cynical, took the opportunity to get attention from flashing their master blasters.

In any case, who are we to question motives when bare boobs are flashing on the beach? Never look a gift horse in the mouth or a bare boob in the eye? Hmm, that one needs some re-working. Enjoy.

Eva Longoria Wardrobe Malfunction Flashes the Bare Lady Nest (and Maybe a Lady’s Little Helper) in Cannes

 

To be fair, my feeble elderly eyes can't say for sure that Eva Longoria is completely bare down there, and by that, I mean bereft of panties. There may be some translucent undergarment type thing. Either way, I think it's fair to say Eva is most definitely bare down there in the Brazilian waxing sense of the word. Additionally, the photos may indicate that Eva is experiencing that time of the month and utilizing methods that Carrie did not know available when she was in the shower. But, again, hard to say for sure. I'll leave that to the CSI Egotastic! volunteer army out there.

So goes Cannes. Where the rain could not step the A-list celebrities from wearing designer gowns up the red carpeted step to their various photo lines and movie premieres. Eva Longoria and her slit dress were there for the showing of Jimmy P. (Psychotherapy Of A Plains Indian) which I would go and look up what it is, and will, as soon as I stop looking at Eva's cooch. So maybe like another two hours.

Eva Longoria wardrobe malfunctions are happening more and more these days. I can only assume Eva is trying to tell us something. Or, maybe prayers just really are answered. I'll accept either, while I continue to stare. Enjoy.

Thank God It’s Funbags! Sammy Braddy and Alice Goodwin Playful Brunette Topless Twinsy Time

 

Like sands through the hourglass, good people. Another week has passed us by. Another five day stretch of celebrity skin and feel-good visuals that ought to leave you primed for your weekend, if not a bit weak in the knees. There's plain old tired and then there's good tired. We want to leave you feeling the latter on your Friday, a day we give our final salute to all things holy hot and filled with love, like the most glorious globes of naughty brunettes Sammy Braddy and Alice Goodwin, having a little playtime funtime in your honor.

Two desperately hot and bodacious brunettes just hanging out, feeling up, and looking good. What could be better? Oh, yeah, you being the oil man in the photo shoot. Granted. But, for today, for right now, in this moment, be the ogling gentleman or Sapphic leaning lady you were meant to be and take it all in. It's a handful, or mouthful, depending upon your level of ambition. Thank God It's Funbags!

Rosie Jones, Courtnie Quinlan, Nicole Neal, and Other Topless Hotties for i-D Magazine’s Spring Fling

 

I have this dream where I invite several of my very favorite British style glamour models to my abode for an afternoon of Earl Grey and raunchy stripping. Then I snap back to reality to find the BBW sisters from down the hall eating all my Cool Ranch Doritos and sitting on my couch watching Animal Planet. Real life can be such a harsh slap in the face.

Thankfully, I have i-D magazine and their glorious tribute to all things hot and boobtastic and British with a topless complication pictorial of Rosie Jones, Courtnie Quinlan, Nicole Neal, Lacey Bangard, and Sabine Jemeljanova as a virtual lust-filled escape hatch from the doldrums of my apartment complex living. It's quite the array into the foray of all things plump and juicy in the chest puppy department. Yet, classy, cool, and chic. I think I dig. I dig very much. Enjoy.

Alice Eve and Lake Bell Topless Highlight This Week’s Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

 

Sure you got your big summer blockbusters coming out now, but how many of those billion dollar box office films are going to show you the slightest hint of bare ta's? Well, the short answer, and I guess the long answer too is, none. A sad state of affairs in popular cinema. But, thanks to our friends at Mr. Skin, we have a lovely little roadmap for alt-cinematic options that bare some quite delightful amounts of celebrity skin.

This week's Mr. Skin Minute features the delicious Alice Eve not topless in Star Trek Into Darkness, but fully flashing in Crossing Over, Lake Bell and Katie Aselton camping nekkid in Black Rock now on Blu-Ray, and another  recap of the best of the bare boobtastic on HBO and Showtime this past weekend. It's a lot of fun with celebrity funbags. Enjoy.

(And, do not forget your very own Mr. Skin membership to dazzle the ladies and inspire jealousy among your compadres.)

READER FINDS: Adriana Lima Camel Toe, Demi Moore Topless, Gwyneth Paltrow Nekkid, and Much Much More…

 

This has been a fun week. Maybe not as fun as meeting Backdoor Teen Mom last week, but more fun than meeting your dentist and watching him make the tsk-tsk face that you ought not give another person past the age of 10. Right there in the middle. And at the end of the middle is Friday, the holiest of days in the Egotastic! week, when we complete the ritualist ogling of the sextastic celebrities with a roundup of flesh and more flesh provided by you, the most educated readership of any celebrity site on the world wide web. Today, is your day. Nekkid populi.

This week's Reader Finds includes the delicious Amii Grove posing topless for Page 3 (thank you to EgoReader 'James'), classic throwback to topless teen Demi Moore and Michelle Johnson in Blame It On Rio (sweet find from 'Raoul'), Vanessa Hudgens innocently hot in Brian Bowen photoshoot (good tidings from 'Estev'), the underrated Marion Cotillard topless in Taxi (delivered this day by 'Owen'), Selena Gomez bikini still from Spring Breakers (courtesy of 'Anon.'), Romina Senesi skinny topless Argentine (from 'Glib' who knows we love our Sudamericanas), Nicole Neal and India Reynolds girl buddy buddy and topless for Nuts (thirst officially slaked by 'Kevin'), Hungarian gloriously sextastic model vixen Renata Hada (stellar contribution from afar by 'Jiro'), Annina Ucatis topless on Big Brother Germany (fancy tickled by 'Thommas'), Adriana Lima serious camel toe (revealed by the oft-contributing 'Pito), a very nekkid Gwyneth Paltrow (insisted upon by 'Ken S.'), SyFy's very own Jane Riley very nekkid and self-shot (no clear face but 'Hector B.' insists it's Jane, looks kinda right), Hayden Panettiere rooting on her man with cleave (kudos to 'Lugh'), more Selena Gomez laying across a bed goodness (thank you kindly 'Michael G.'), and, last, but not last, a purported nekkid shot of Game of Thrones giantess, Gwendoline Christie by photographer Polly Borland (transmitted by 'Matthew B.'). Now, that is what I call a hodgepodge of honeys! Enjoy.

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