ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS: Lindsay Lohan Clean, Sober, and Boobtastic

Dear Santa,

My final request for Christmas 2010, to fill your bag and my hearth with just the right amount of feel-good hotness (feel very good): Lindsay Lohan, I want her back, looking sweet and freckly as she does in these pictures from her Benn Jaye photoshoot. My original ginger sexy bomb with the curvaceous body of a redheaded goddess. Recent reports of late night fence climbs, bar trips, and violent altercations with staff at the Betty Ford Clinic leave me in despair. Bring her to my home on Christmas morning and I'll personally see to her bathing, dressing, and binding to the bed until such time as she's rid of her demons. Seriously, I've already purchased the medically recommended sexy silk lace ties for the bedposts. Count on me, St. Nick.