Aliens: Colonial Marines’ Xenomorphs vs Dead Space 3‘s Necromorphs: Which Side Will You Take as we Enter ‘Gaming’s Freaky-Ass February?’

Yes indeed, we're utilizing Gaming's Freaky-Ass February as though it's an actual term that exists in any official capacity. It doesn't, mark you, as we just pulled it out of our asses this morning, but it totally should. We've recently payed homage to the impending cavalcade of goretacular gaming wonderment that's heading our way this coming month , but will that suffice? It will not. As all our page-perusers know, your friends at Egotastic! are committed to giving you more. And, y'know, awkward workplace erections. But also more.

As such, today's missive is to refresh the memories of you dudely dudes with regards to the triumvirate of must-buy manly gaming February is bringing: Dead Space 3, Aliens: Colonial Marines and Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. The former two, both spacetastic and guntastic horror/shooters that endeavor to send the terror-piss cascading down our hirsute legs onto our finely upholstered leather couches, offer uniquely disparate takes on the old ghastly shit-stained space monsterfrom goddamn space trope.

The vital question, though, the very query that occupies all our minds during times of serene contemplation (to wit: while taking a dump) is this: which species of intergalactic malevolent space-mofos from the devil's dick is more badass? The acclaimed Alien franchise's Xenomorphs, or Dead Space's Necromorphs? Somewhere amid all the piss-takery and snark in the gallery, you might find an actual answer.

Don't bet your balls on that, though.