brian-mcgee - January 4, 2019
Hachi machi! Get a load of Alexis Ren's beach attire. It's the kind of thing that would make someone born in the 1890s faint from all the flesh on display. Thankfully most of the folks born in the 1890s have passed on by this point in time, so they don't have to worry about any further indignation they may suffer from the sight of Alexis Ren in a barely-there bikini that doesn't cover much of anything.
Word to anyone thinking about time traveling. Do not print out these pictures of Alexis Ren and then try to pass them off as pictures of your girlfriend to a bunch of cavemen or anything, okay? Alexis Ren's sexiness could permanently alter the space-time continuum, so don't go using it lightly just to impress your new friends, okay?
The cavemen would probably be impressed though. They'd make you their king and then demand that you bring the queen with you the next time you come, and then where will you be? Nowhere, that's where. Those cavemen seemed cool that one time, but if you show up again without Alexis Ren, you're not getting back to your own time alive.
Moral of the story: If you think time travel is in your future, leave any and all pics of Alexis Ren out of your time machine please. The fate of the world depends on it.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
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